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Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
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 [Private] The Wolf and the Raven

[Private] The Wolf and the Raven

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[Private] The Wolf and the Raven

Michelle Hawke | Human; Citizen

Posted on Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:27 pm

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Begins at Ogma Industries ⋅ Clear ⋅ Late evening?


This would probably be it. Like, I’d gotten involved with the fucking mafia and the only way out was a bullet to my brain. I wanted out, I needed out, but I was compelled (in more ways than one) to keep up the status quo when it came to my Seattle visits. I didn’t know what I could hope for. They had the ability to easily keep my mouth shut about everything. If Gayle really wanted, she could make me forget I’d ever even worked for her. She didn’t have to kill me. Actually, I hadn’t seen her kill anyone but obviously it didn’t mean she never did. Fuck, maybe she did and I was compelled to forget. Reason five hundred and sixty two why I had to get out of this shit. I had the fucked realization that the only thing I knew to do was to treat this like a goddamn drug problem. So the first step was an attempt to cut off my dealers. I had two of them, and each had their own ways (inadvertently or not) of making it an utter bitch to sever ties. With Vincent, it was easy because neither of us had tried to contact the other. I’d began to actually despise myself when I thought about him. I’d try to comfort myself with the knowledge that I didn’t go to his place trying to use him for that, but then I knew it would be smarter of me to believe that I did. For him to believe I did. Hopefully the fact that I hadn’t heard anything meant it was working. The fact that I hadn’t said anything, I hope, sent the message that I knew I wasn’t getting what I wanted anymore.

Still didn’t stop the fact that I still had that goddamn cardboard box and everything in it. I’d even put everything back inside except for the stupid fucking Gameboy which had attached itself to my hands like it was a fucking cellphone. I even took the box with me to Claire’s. I didn’t know if Caly had made the connection of where that shit had come from, but I wasn’t going to chance it. I knew I’d fucked up, though. I told Claire that the box was from Caly hoping it wouldn’t come up. I wasn’t ready to let go of that one thing I had, the memory of the one time someone heard my story and not only believed me, but cared about how it affected me. And that was why I hated myself. I took the person who saw me and I tainted him with my bullshit. So, yeah, it was both hard and easy to cut off Vincent as a dealer. I didn’t have a choice, but it hurt like hell.

I didn’t exactly have a gameplan as I walked through the doors of Ogma. I did, actually, but it was just terrible. Start a conversation and ask one of those shitty questions that was obviously meant to feel her out on the subject. ”So, I know I’ve been okay with this, but what if I change my mind?” Yes, and tag in, asking for a friend at the end. Not obvious at all. I stepped on to the elevator, swiping a badge that had been given to me, or rather, I’d been trusted with, that had allowed me access to multiple parts of the building for “urgent matters”. I’d already arranged a meeting, but waiting around at Claire’s house, thinking about what I was going to say wasn’t cutting it. The ride up on the elevator felt like two hours. A doctor in a lab coat, a woman in a business suit, neither of which I knew their fucking species, both staring blankly forward and I became awkwardly aware of the pain in my left thigh. I hadn’t taken any painkillers today. I had to be clear minded but I began to realize pain didn’t lend itself to a clear mind either. Fuck. I could shift, right? Once off the elevator? At least until I got to her office, to avoid the walk. Part of it was my fucking fault - I refused to wear that goddamn immobilizer and hobble around. Fuck that. It didn’t hurt that bad and the doc had said himself the break wasn’t that bad, this was just a precaution. So as soon as the doors slid open I burst out in bird form with no shame. These fuckers had seen stranger things in her lab, I knew it. I slowed down and perched on the top of the open door to Gayles’s office, realizing she was already speaking with a man and hadn’t even noticed my presence. So I waited patiently, but I wasn’t able to keep myself from eavesdropping.

The man looked incredibly familiar but I couldn’t place him. Had I seen him around here before? There were so many people, but I just couldn’t lock his face to here.

The date is correct, right? It’s just the location that’s-
Mr. Rolland, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think you need to have accuracy to maintain your credibility with them. So two hours prior, I’ll tell you the location. You’ll relay it to them with urgency, as if you’re desperate to get them the newest, correct information. It won’t matter. It will be too late, but it will appear as if you’ve tried.
The man nodded in agreeance and took a seat. He looked as if he felt strangely comfortable there. I could only see his backside, but still, even his voice was familiar.
What about Mr. Byrne? I heard that fell through. I felt like I was willing my heart to stop, but instead it felt like it was pounding through my chest, even in my current form it felt like a human heart trying to break through. What did- why was she laughing?
I guess I should tell you, you’ll hear rumors, maybe you can spin them for me if you know the truth. But just realize, Mr. Rolland, I’m putting a lot of trust in you by telling you this.
You know what I’m getting from this, Gayle, you know why I can’t go back on my word.
We don’t have the wolves like we wanted, but we can still rest. Lilith has been dealt with and that’s what matters. Should have thought of this before, actually. Who the fuck was Lilith? Motherfuck, Michelle, stay still. Don’t let them see you.
Vincent Byrne, along with Lilith, are chained to the bottom of Spada Lake. Her smile became so big I could see the white from across the oversized office. He can’t die. Even you can find the beauty in that, Benjamin.

I almost shifted back, I stumbled on the door. I knew tears were forming and I felt my heart drop into my gut and my gut twisted and wrung itself out. Immediately I flew, not a single fuck given if she’d see me now, toward Lilah’s office. She was there, thank god, so I shifted and fell onto the floor, the pain searing in my leg and wrist but I stood up and slammed the door shut behind me.

I’ll do it. I’ll do it, Liliah I swear to god just tell me where he is! I barely got the last bit out, tears were streaming down my face and I felt my throat tense up so much that I wasn’t sure how I was even breathing. I didn’t even notice the flash of disappointment on Lilah’s face, quickly replaced by a smile with narrowed eyes. Awe, little bird, that’s no fun. Do you think I’d turn you if you were doing it for someone else? And not me? You’re using me as much as you used him, I’m not a moron.
FUCK YOU! I was going to die today, I just fucking knew it, but I’d keep trying, and Lilah wasn’t going to get him out. I left the room, slammed the door behind me, and fell back onto the door. I knew, I needed to go, now, but one, it was a lake not a goddamn mud puddle and I had no fucking clue where to look. Two - images began flooding my mind of him struggling, him drowning, only to be reborn to do it again. Why didn’t he tell me this shit? Since when was he fucking immortal? And the last I’d heard, Gayle was trying to reach out, not… not this. I shifted again, but only got halfway to the elevators when I felt a pull at my wing and again I fell to the ground as my shift took place too high in the air. FUCK I didn’t have time for this!

Get on the elevator with me, quick, before they see us. A man, in gray slacks and a black button up shirt. Blonde hair, and that was all I cared to notice. I limped as fast as I could to keep up with him, finally closing my eyes as the doors closed.
You’re injured, aren’t you? My chest was heaving and even if I wanted to say something I couldn’t speak. I’d barely even noticed that the ring on my left hand had started to feel warm. I can tell you where your boyfriend is, exactly. There’s a dock on the west side of Spada Lake. I’m sure there’ll be a shitty little boat, grab it, and stay to your right. The third cove is where you’ll find him. Shouldn’t be too hard, it’s not even that deep. Why are you telling me this? The conversation was quick, I knew he was trying to get out all the information he could before the elevator doors opened again. I work with them. Listen you don’t have time for questions. And shit, girl, you can’t save him like that. He bit into his wrist and shoved it against my lips, and for the first time ever I tasted the blood of a vampire. I knew we had to be reaching the ground floor, and when the doors opened up, all I knew was that I’d find vincent by staying right, the third cove, and that I could see and smell and hear everything.

There was suddenly no more pain in my leg, my wrist, and I felt - god, I could call it high but it wasn’t any kind of high I’d had before from weed. I heard whispers, I heard echoes, I heard hearts and footsteps. I knew where to find him, but I didn’t know how I knew. Also, I knew I’d need some fucking bolt cutters. Once outside of the building, I pulled out my cellphone and found the general direction of the lake because it wasn’t like I knew Washington geography like the back of my hand. Once I had it, I shifted and flew faster than I’d ever flown. I could fucking see shit I couldn’t see before, fucking logos on shoes and shit from up in the sky. If only I knew where to get some goddamn bolt cutters - and get them to the dock.

Please, Vincent, please know I’m coming.

I hated every single delay I was going to have and already had. Each one crossed my mind and each one I thought of as yet another time he would drown. How fucking long had he been down there? It might not have been the smartest thing to do, but I dropped down at the first Home Depot I saw. Ran in, felt like faster than a human should run, wasn’t sure if it actually was or not. I was fucking wired. Found the first dude in an orange vest, and just spat out the words. BOLT CUTTERS! NOW! Minutes later, I was walking, no, running out with them, and the funny fucking thing was that I hadn’t paid for them. I was getting odd looks, and one guy ran a little, but he was fucking huffing and puffing and gave up before I’d even given him a thought. The lake, fuck, I couldn’t shift. Had no idea other than… I pulled up the map on my phone. Googling walking directions to the dock while I ran, shoving the phone in my pocket. I didn’t know how to fucking hotwire a car, I had nothing else I could do, but I had, what Google said was twenty minutes. I made it to the dock in ten, running like a madwoman, the heavyish metal tool in my hand, on the main highway even, then finally turning onto a dirt road when the voice on my phone said. Skidding on the curves, not even slowing when the dock was finally in sight. Fuck, I remember hearing there’d be a boat, but this was barely a goddamn boat. There was water seeping up into it, for Christ’s sake. Once I’d finally stopped, catching my breath, I realized the ring on my hand was actually burning. I smelled the flesh but I didn’t have time. I was close, I was so fucking close, the strange instructions in my mind just had to be right. I threw the bolt cutters into the skimpy wooden boat and almost fell into it myself, and began to row. I tried to remind myself, that it could be worse. I was fucking lucky even that she’d even told the man which lake. My chest heaved as I kept rowing, even as the ring burned, tears flowing through my eyes from the pain, but more than anything for the fear. The fear that she could be wrong, that he wasn’t immortal, but also the realization that he’d been living something worse than death regardless. I reached over the front of the boat, almost falling off as I shoved off a floating dead limb that was slowing me down. I kept my eyes to the right, now halfway across the second cove. Goddammit I’m coming!I screamed as if he could hear me. I kept rowing despite my temptation to swim as soon as I saw what had to be that third cove. I peered into the water, not expecting to see anything, but there was something, something just differently colored than the ground. Fuck! FUCK! The ring continued to burn and yet I healed and it burned again. I threw the bolt cutters into the water, and jumped in after, my eyes wide open in horror at the scene before me. I could see through the murk, and… I could see something changing about myself as I fought to swim toward him - my arm. It wasn’t normal. The shape was the same but there was a strange glistening iridescence to it. I hadn’t even thought about the fact, until this moment, that there was no way possible I could get him out myself. How there was no way I’d be able to hold my breath for that long, but I wasn’t feeling any kind of need. I only noticed it because it wasn’t an issue.

It would have been easier if my adrenaline could mask everything, or anything for that matter, but everything about the scene before me practically destroyed me. The fact that they’d stripped him naked wrecked me for so many reasons. The contact of the silver, I could see the fucking burns, but there was this fucked sense of emasculation that twisted my guts as if they could be in any worse shape at this point. I thought I was glad for only one second, that I didn’t find him in pain, and struggling, but the closer I looked the more the realization hit me that he wasn’t breathing. He was dirty, almost slimy and I could see where whatever creepy creatures that lived here had tried to nibble. I felt sick, I wanted to vomit, and I was fucking terrified that she was wrong. That he wasn’t immortal. But I knew I still had to get him out of here. WAKE UP! I tried to yell, but it just came out as muffled, underwater tones. I jerked on his arm, put my hands against his cheeks and shook his head. Nothing. Still, I couldn’t stand for him to be here any longer. I found the glistening metal of the bolt cutters and got to work. It was hard as fuck, especially the first one, but I broke open the lock first, then when struggling with the chain still didn’t get me anywhere, I began working on bits of the chain. How the fuck was I doing this? I looked at my arms again, I could almost see scales just beneath the surface of my skin. The ring burned hotter than ever. Finally, I tugged on him, barely able to get him to move but the chains fell off and he slowly drifted up. WAKE UP! I tried to scream again. Just more muffled sounds and bubbles. So I tugged, and pulled, and screamed again when I felt like it.

There was no way I could keep track of actual time, but it felt like hours, like the larger part of the night had been me slowly and gruelingly getting him to the surface, using the slight gradient of the lake’s bed to get us up to the shore. Eventually, my own head was above water, and I turned around, pulling him by the arms although mine felt like fucking wet noodles. I got him to the shore, out of the water. I fell close to him, lifting his limp head onto my waist and as the sun began to rise my eyes fell closed, my fingers woven into his hair.

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Re: [Private] The Wolf and the Raven

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Wed Jun 07, 2017 3:04 am

This thread is backdated.


Flashback: Some time in the past…


The air was moldy from years of exposed drywall being splattered with water. I had the skill to fix it, but I just didn’t care to. Just like I didn’t care to fix the light fixture, which painted the walls in a dim, neon yellow glow. My skin looked green from the vibrant blue paint on the walls mixing with that neon, yellow hue and reflecting back onto me. The dark circles under my eyes looked almost black in here, the dramatic shadows from the light above not helping to diminish the deathly look below my eye sockets. I looked sick. I was sick.

I looked up towards the sound of buzzing, a fly was bobbing around the light and crashing into it repeatedly. Fuck… I knew what that was like… The only difference was… It wasn’t light that I found myself crashing into over and over again. It was something else entirely. I watched it flutter around aimlessly, trying so hard to be a part of that light but not knowing how to get in. There was a loud flicking sound against the bulb, and I continued to watch as the fly fell into the sink, buzzing around the porcelain… Then not.

I reached down to turn on the water, my hands lazily cupping together to collect what I could, and washed its corpse down the drain. If it wasn’t dead, then it would surely drown now. That was a thought… The more I stared at my reflection, the more it sunk in. My eyes went white, and hands planted firmly on either side of the sink. Stop breathing. I held my breath, but I knew I was doing it of my own free will. Stop. Breathing. I held it again, and continued to hold it. The more desperate I became for air, the more angry I became, and stubborn. You’re drowning. Compelling through thought didn’t work without a telepath, I knew that, but I still tried. Repeating the same words over and over again mentally so I didn’t have to risk allowing instinct to take over, so I didn’t have to risk breathing. The veins in my neck were bulging, and my hand smacked against my skin, my palm covering my mouth, fingers pinching my nose closed… My muscles shaking as I tried to fight that urge to breathe by gripping painfully tighter against my own face; And my mind still repeating that same line, trying and trying to compel myself to stop breathing. Hoping that compulsion could overpower immortality.

I couldn’t take it, my body won over my mind and my hand released… I was going to breathe. But I didn’t. I couldn’t I looked at my reflection, eyes widening as my knees buckled. It worked? I slipped to the floor, drool oozing out of my open jaw, I couldn’t move, I just sunk down, head uncomfortably cocked against the corner of the room, trying to breathe, trying so fucking hard to breathe… But those muscles just didn't work anymore. My throat was closed, it felt like it was closed... And everything went dark.



Eight days and 384 deaths ago…


When I woke up, my eyes didn’t open right away. I caught the scent of water and fish. It felt like I was swaying from side to side, and I could hear something knocking against wood repeatedly. My eyes peeled open but everything was blurry. A faint glow from a light, and black blurry figures moving about was the best my vision could provide. I heard voices, but they sounded like distorted, distant whispers. He’s awake. Finally, someone spoke up. His voice was nasally, but I still couldn’t figure out who had spoken. Would you like me to get the silver, Lilah? Lilah? Lilah. I remembered… The witch had left me behind… I was trying to… Do something? What was I trying to do? I was knocked out… There was… Yes. There was silver… I remembered it burning my throat. Was that why I felt so sick?

I heard chains rattling around this time. A figure stood in front of me, and my vision was becoming clearer, but I still couldn't make out who it was. Oh fuck I felt sick. Everything hurt, I wanted to puke, my body felt weak. The rocking didn't help that feeling. The knocking sound felt like it had an echo to it... Was that a real echo? It was so fucking loud, piercingly loud. And that light... My vision was getting even better and that light was just getting brighter. It was searing. Should we be worried? The mans voice came in again, and so did Lilah's... He's weakened... She started, and the figure in front of me came into view... It was her. In her hands were heavy duty chains, the bottom of them were rocking against the floor... Of which I quickly realized was the floor of a boat. She stood eerily still... Completely unaffected and unmoved by the rocking of the water. But that knocking just got louder.

Did you enjoy your nap? I tried to move but I was strapped onto something. A man appeared behind her, he was holding the opposite end of those chains. One end loosely coiled around her hands, and the other loosely coiled around his. What is this? I groaned, looking down and seeing I was held by nothing but thin leather straps. Why couldn't I break them? Gayle, holding up her end of the deal. She wasn't smiling, but I could see it in her eyes, something about this excited her. A padlock was revealed, and that excitement in her eyes grew as she stepped forward. I tried to pull away, but something about it felt sluggish and slow. I saw what you did to your little girlfriend. The chains were pressed against my skin and all of the strength I had left was channeled into my voice. I yelled out, my voice transforming into a snarl, eyes going bright white... The man behind her stumbled backwards in fear, but she kept wrapping the chains around me. Why were they burning me, and not her? I could feel my bones being crunched by her strength. She didn't just coil them around me, she tightened them around me in a complex system of overlapping and knotting, occasionally pulling with her vampire strength to make sure it was tight and agonizing... All of the air was forced out of my lungs from the pain of my bones being crushed. I could smell my burning flesh. I could see the metal embedding into the wounds.

I thought about turning her... She pulled tight on the chains again and a chunk of her perfectly groomed hair fell out of place, frizzy and dangling in front of her eyes. It was strange how a chunk of out of place hair could make her look so fucking insane. What- I snarled again, spit foaming out of my mouth as the muscles in my neck tensed. My head was pounding, and eyes bulging... And my snarl morphed into a pained crack in my voice as I gave into it. My head fell forward as she kept going, focusing most of it around my ankles, wrists, and torso. But it's so much more fun when she's breakable, isn't it? Something in her voice changed this time... There was a growl to it as she pulled everything tight once more, and hooked on the padlock. She was taunting me... And she could, couldn't she? There was nothing I could do. For all I knew she was going to... Oh fuck... We were on a boat.

No... She disappeared behind me, and suddenly, I was moving, I was being rolled. That's when I noticed the weights under my feet. I heard the sound of something clasping into something behind me, and I could feel myself being lifted onto the edge of the boat. No! I didn't know the fucking witch was... What are you- What are you doing! NO! FUCK, NO! My breathing was rapid, each rise and fall of my chest shoving those chains even deeper into the wounds. And then... I was in. It didn't happen slowly, I wasn't lowered, I was shoved in, the air I had in my lungs was all I had left.

I was terrified.



Wanting to die doesn’t make a fucking difference. Holding a gun to your skull doesn’t even compare. That was like ripping off a bandaid. With that, there was one moment of ‘’fuck it’’ before finally squeezing the trigger, and everything was over in an instant. It wasn’t torture, it was the remedy to torture. It was the fucking antidote. Until I came back...

It wasn’t the idea of drowning. For most people, one deep breath was all it would take, and it’d be over. Doing that was the challenge, when your body fought so hard to survive. But that was the kicker, wasn’t it? Death wasn’t a luxury I had. It wouldn’t be over for me. I could spend the rest of eternity at the bottom of a lake, endlessly dying, suffering forever. Death for me, was groundhog day. Suffering, misery, despair, and when death finally came for me, I eluded him for more suffering, misery, and despair.

My eyes were wide open as I began to sink. I wanted desperately to close them. To not see the surface as I sunk lower and lower. To not know that just beyond the faint glow above was air. But I did see… I did know. I fought so hard. So fucking hard. My muscles contracted, pushing into the silver as I tried to shift, my flesh burning and muscles growing weak from the agony. I tried so fucking hard to break them, panic setting in instantly, but the more I fought, the weaker I became, and the more pain I felt. It hurt, fuck it hurt so fucking much.

When I hit bottom, everything stopped. I wiggled and watched as valuable air bubbles escaped my nostrils and rushed to the surface with such fucking ease. It was then when complete terror began to sink in. The pain from the silver wasn’t even the worst of it anymore. The pain in my head was far fucking worse. The sight of darkness closing in around me, like walls rushing in was fucking worse. The sound of my own heartbeat thumping louder, and louder, drowning out that muted moan and bubbling of the water was fucking worse. The pressure in my chest, the pressure in my head that felt like my eyes were going to pop out, the agonizing tension in my throat and lungs… They were screaming…

And so was I.

That was it, there was no air left, and the last thing I saw was the blackened water before my eyes closed. It was like a hiccup, that moment when I involuntarily tried to inhale. It wasn’t peaceful like people said. It was agonizing. The feeling of water rushing in my nose and mouth… My lungs filling… Fuck… Let me die. Don’t bring me back. Please, please let me die. It’s the only thing I want, the only thing I’ll ever ask for. Please God.

My life didn’t flash before my eyes. That was just something people said happened to make themselves feel better about the grim truth about death. There was no white light, there was no beam from the heavens carrying my soul to the clouds. It was cold… It was excruciating… It was frightening… It was dark… And lonely. And the last thing I heard was the watery echo of the engine from above starting... Then... Nothing.



Death


Onyx...

A serpent tongue... Those S sounds were long and drawn out. I couldn't see anything, it was black. Doesn't it hurt? Did what hurt? It hasn't become easier? Has it? That sounded like my voice this time... Not... Lilith?
I can make it easier. I can keep you here. You don't have to drown anymore. Haven't you had enough? How many times have you suffered here? How many deaths have you endured? - Either way... You win. - Then why not let me help you? You can either suffer... Or not... In the end... I will still... Her voice faded out, and my eyes shot open. My lungs were filled back with air and I was hit with everything at once. The searing pain from the silver, the frightening instinct to break free even though I knew I couldn't... The... Oh fuck... FUCK, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I couldn't... I wouldn't. I forced the air out of my lungs and took in a deep breath of water. Maybe this will be the last time... Please let it be the last time...




Water. I coughed it up. That was the first thing I noticed... Because it was different. It was different because the pain was different. My eyes were still closed, hands gripped firmly around something... Someone... Like if I let go, the painful deep breaths I was taking would be taken away from me. I was breathing. Holy fuck I was breathing?! Oh god it hurt, it fucking hurt to breathe. Like I'd just swallowed a million razor blades. The ache in my chest, the raw feeling of my skin, everything was on fire, everything was sore, everything was aching and agonizing and I couldn't even register how fucking happy I was to be feeling this because I was still gasping for air. My voice merged with each breath as I desperately tried to take in all I could.

That breathing slowed, but I didn't let go. Who... I didn't know, I couldn't open my eyes for more than a moment, just long enough to realize I was laying on someones torso, gripping tightly onto it still fucking fearful that if I didn't, whatever this moment was... Would be taken from me. My eyes were fucking blinded. God it was so fucking bright it hurt. I just laid there, jaw chattering from the cold, with one thought... One single thought on my mind. Air. I couldn't think about the pain, where I was or how I'd gotten out. I couldn't think about who had put me there or who was with me now. I couldn't even let myself hear or see. Everything was so loud and bright and... My senses were coming back? That scent... I knew that scent...

Was this another trick? Oh god I remembered her. She was with me... She was with me the entire time and she... Was this fucking real? It didn't feel like the times before... I was hit with fragments of memories... I wasn't alone... Lilith was there... But... There was a figure there too. A being, a human-like... No... It had scales? It had scales and... Oh fuck what if it was real? Did I know what death was like? For someone that was never meant to be alive?

If you tell me what it's like to fly... I'll tell you what it's like to die...

It’s home.

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Re: [Private] The Wolf and the Raven

Michelle Hawke | Human; Citizen

Posted on Wed Jun 07, 2017 8:20 pm

My eyes opened and I felt hard dirt and rocks beneath my back but that wasn't what alarmed me. I felt the body against me, the head on my lap but this time there were fingers gripping my thighs. He was alive. A wave of bittersweet relief washed over me until I looked down and saw the the blonde slicked back hair. What the fuck was happening? The grip tightened and he lifted his head to look up at me revealing a fanged smile and a tongue that moved around to taste his own lips before gripping the bottom of my tank with his teeth and pulling it up, his entire body moving with him. He moved back down just enough to begin kidding my abdomen starting with my belly button and I don't know if it was fear or... well whatever it was I wasn't stopping him. How fucked was I? I started to move but couldn't as his kisses and tastes moved closer to my chest. I swallowed before an attempt to speak. What are you- He released his grip with one hand and placed a shushing finger against my lips then lifted my shirt enough to expose my bra and he wasted no time pulling down the top of the cup, his fangs grazing against-

My eyes opened and again I felt the hard ground and pebbles against my back. Not at all a normal time to have a sex dream. Felt the sun again, beating down on me some of the details cemented the reality this time. My pants were stiff and caked with dried mud. I could feel my hair was no longer in the smooth straight flow provided by a straightening iron and was instead wiry and tangled. Didn’t want to look around this time but didn’t have to because my ears instantly picked up on the sound of coughing, strangling. Relief in a sense and sadness in another. Never wanted him dead, but a fucked part of me had hoped Gayle was wrong for his sake. For the fact that the body I saw on the bed of the lake had been tortured. Burned by chains, nibbled on by slimy sea life, and hadn’t been able to breath for lungs filled with dirty lake water. Maybe he wouldn’t remember. Please tell me he didn’t remember.

Maybe I could look at him now, he was alive, and for selfish reasons that was the better of the two scenarios. I turned myself on my side, but I could feel the shakiness in my legs and even my arms so I simply sat up with my legs criss-crossed facing him. My breath felt stuck in my throat, tried to swallow but couldn’t. Tears burned my face and seeped into my lips. Tortured and alive. Still tortured. And then he spoke. My chest hurt. I felt my face harden as I fought against showing any reaction. Couldn’t even fucking speak.

Tell me, It came out in a strained whisper. Tell me you don’t remember. The words had a whine to them and I fucking hated it. Like the words were the voice of my silent sobbing. And I couldn’t understand, I couldn’t look at Caly, Kai, Claire, anyone when they looked at me with this look of pity. But I couldn’t look away, like I deserved to see this. I kinda did.

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Re: [Private] The Wolf and the Raven

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Wed Jun 07, 2017 9:43 pm

I couldn't move. My own mind had paralyzed me. An endless circle of reminders that moving meant I was no longer bound with chains... But also that I had been bound with chains. And that reminded me of where I had been bound with chains, and how long I had been there which I didn't even know the answer to, and the conversations I had, had. They were all knives, each one, each memory, all of them carved me up like a pumpkin on Halloween. I may have been immortal, but my flesh was just as soft as everyone else's. It cut, it scarred, but I guess none of that compared to the hellish place my mind had left me. That white room Oveyx had showed me, but it wasn't white anymore. It was stained with fanger blood and slowly filling with water. A utopia of emptiness now tainted with terror. How long would I be mentally trapped in there? How much worse would escaping be?

I felt my head being shoved off, and I took that as a sign she didn't want it there anymore. It hardly mattered when I released my grip on her side, and the shifting of her body sent the side of my head into the rocks and my hand beside it. Whether she was here or not, nothing would have changed. I still couldn't fucking move, I just laid there in silence, scared to open my mouth again for fear more water would enter it. Your species was a mistake. We cannot walk on water, but we can surely walk through it. The sound of the water gently hitting shore wasn't calming, it was violent. I could hear it getting louder and louder, until it sounded like I was submerged again, only this time with a piercing ringing sound in my ears. I forced my eyes open, just to make sure it wasn't real, just to make sure I could still see the land above water, just to assure myself that nothing had changed, that I was no longer there.

This was another dream, it had to be... But on some level I knew it wasn't. Raven had been featured in some... Luxx and Logan in others... Saturn, Runner, Ozra, Olympia... The list of cast members to my nightmare was infinite. They all played a part in those underwater visions. All of them telling me my secrets, making it known that they knew just what a piece of shit I really was before holding my head under water with ten tons of force. I saw all of their faces as I died endlessly. And every time, I'd mentally recite the names of those that had died in my name like the guilty man I was. I was on an infinite loop of death row, reminded of the hell I'd caused them, the hell that they likely didn't even know. A guilty conscience didn't fear drowning, it reveled in it.

I guess I should have acknowledged her. I guess I should have thanked her, but a part of me was angry with her for freeing me. A part of me really fucking hated her for it. Everyone would have been better off if I had stayed there, even I would have been better off. At least there loneliness and pain wasn't selfish. At least there I couldn't be selfish. Drowning endlessly was what I deserved. I fucking deserved it.

I didn't answer her question. Not right away. I could feel my muscles shaking, I could see them shaking as I planted my palms to the ground and tried to push myself up. I couldn't even hold my head up, it just dangled there as I my hands scraped over the pebbles to get a better hold. I held my breath as I brought my knee up for more support, but fear overwhelmed me and I gasped for air when I remembered I could do that now. It hurt, it hurt like I suddenly weighed four-hundred pounds. Gravity was pushing down, and once I was upright, one leg loosely bent to the side, and one propped up, my head still hung there, heavy and in pain. Getting my elbow propped onto my knee was even a struggle, but once it was there, my index finger and thumb sprawled out across my brows, shielding my eyes from the light, and also her.

Tell me you don’t remember. Remember... Remember the cold... Or the dark? Or was it the pain I was meant to remember? The agony of burning from the chains, and freezing from the water? The torture of screaming and not being heard? The brutality of hopelessness overpowering my bodies instinct survive so I could force myself to inhale water just for a moments break? Or was it the paralyzing loneliness that made me begin to feel thankful when Lilith spoke to me that I was meant to remember? I didn't know what I was meant to remember, but I did know that my hand had slipped down, cupping over my mouth as my chest pumped in and out, each deep and loud breath making me more and more light headed as I stared at her with utter terror in my eyes. How fucking pathetic... How fucking weak. I couldn't even stop my hands from shaking, and she got a front row ticket to my mental fucking breakdown. Of all people, to see, she was one of the last I'd want to witness any of this. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop staring at her with those fucking pathetic terrorized eyes.

My eyes flashed and dimmed out as my breathing slowed, and my hand flopped to my side. I held my head there, still staring at her, but the terror in my eyes faded. She was in pain. It was all I needed to know, and I had my answer for her.

I don't remember anything. I remembered everything.

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Re: [Private] The Wolf and the Raven

Michelle Hawke | Human; Citizen

Posted on Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:57 am

Every movement looked like torture. Every movement was hard to watch but like a trainwreck I couldn’t look away. And then it hit me: someone had put him in this position. It didn’t just happen to him it was done to him. It didn’t take long for the rage to begin to surface. It didn’t matter that it was pointless, that I barely understood her strength but it was like having rage against a volcano and the lava you couldn’t outrun. I felt my fingers dig into the ground, pulling at my already weak nails and my glare was aimed at him but it was meant for someone else. Someone else that, in my bullshit naive way, I’d thought had his best interests at heart. How stupid was I to trust a goddamn vampire? Tears covered but didn’t mask my scowl. Add it to the list of Sixty two thousand and four hundred things that were fucking up my life right now and I couldn’t do anything about. But it didn’t change the fact that I wanted her dead. I couldn’t hope to make her suffer. That would be fucking amazing but if dead was out of my reach, eternal turmoil was even more ludicrous. My blood boiled and my skin crawled at the idea that a living, intelligent being could fathom doing this to someone else. Murder didn’t even reach this spectrum. It was stepping on an ant versus genocide as far as I was concerned.

The sound of his breathing didn’t bring me down from my rage but it brought me back to earth and I felt completely and entirely helpless. I was just sitting here and staring at him. Wanted to at the very fucking least cover him with a blanket. God, I was thinking of him like a corpse that needed to be covered with a sheet. I just sat there unmoving and my fingers still dug into the ground. My chest rose and fell with my breathing, dramatic but I guess my body was taking over trying that, take a deep breath and calm down shit. It wasn’t working.

You want me to take you home?
…. What I will do to you whether I want to or not.
I hope I don’t.
Don’t come back.
Silence.


I knew exactly what I was doing letting those words flood my mind. It wasn’t even intentional but I was attempting to make this easier to see but all it did was make it worse. Because I wasn’t an idiot and I knew what those words were meant to do. There was killing with kindness and there was kindness with killing. But what I saw before me was neither and his expression was one I could never fathom seeing on a man. Not even a weak man but definitely one as strong as I’d seen him. He probably hated me for this, he probably hated the fact that I couldn’t look away and I still didn’t completely know why. Maybe because I’d seen his fucking corpse and here he was. Maybe because he reeked of torment, pain, weakness, shit I couldn’t fathom. Maybe because I didn’t know how he could be the same Joe Dirt ever again.

Was it physical pain I saw? There was no way he wasn’t experiencing tremendous pain, but how much of it was mental? Was it possible that even in this moment in the middle of our fresh hell that he was doing the same thing? A white lie? Believe it, Michelle. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, believe it. He didn’t look like - believe it. This was a favor I could do for him, because I didn’t. But I did. I swallowed my doubts and let them fall down my throat and strained to keep them in my stomach.

I guess there was something else I could give him, even if it wasn’t clothing or warmth or even a goddamn head to cry on - I finally stood up. I could, it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. My hip didn’t hurt, my wrist didn’t hurt when I pushed up. No idea where that had come from. My legs felt sore and wobbly like I’d had leg day the day before, but I gave him one last look before turning around. I didn’t know where the fuck I was going or what I was even doing. I just gave him the gift of me not staring at him. It was selfish too because there was no way I could keep looking at him and still believe he hadn’t remembered.

My left hand grabbed at the back of my neck, realizing there was no soreness there either but that had dissipated for the most part anyway. Now it just felt tense and I gripped at the skin. Wasn’t this where I made some corny, shitty joke to break the mood? Isn’t that what I’d do if I believed he was only in physical pain? Why couldn’t I fix this? What the fuck did we do now anyway? Was it time for, “what’s next”? It was and it wasn’t. It wasn’t time for him, but I felt useless and pathetic just standing there. I should um.. I should find something.... I should find some cover for you. It wasn’t crying anymore but every word still felt forced from my throat. What the fuck was I going to do? I looked around, no tents, no houses, no cabins. But it was hard to see. It was dirt and rocks, then brush, then trees. Then, as if it mattered, there was no way I could leave him here alone.

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