setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
PLAYBYS: Sims from the games Sims 2, 3 and 4 are used to visually represent player’s original characters (no characters from within the franchise are allowed). But, you do not need these games to join and roleplay! If you wish, you can post a thread in our out of character / general forum and list as many physical details about your character as you wish. The members of Index will happily try and make a character for you, and you can choose which one you feel best fits your vision.

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 [Private] It Can Always Get Worse - Page 5

[Private] It Can Always Get Worse

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Paul Thacker
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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Paul Thacker | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Wed Jun 07, 2017 10:39 pm

Yeah I did, just didn’t feel like fighting. It was a spineless way of crawling back into a hole. Didn’t mean I wasn’t angry with her. None of this meant that. It meant that this day, this shit thing that had happened, was allowing me to put it in a box and put it away for a day. Didn’t matter what she said, hell, it was about more than the pack. If this fucking vision was true, how could she have done that to Rigel? Sure, I was closer to Vega but Rigel had been fucking important too. How the fuck was this vision real? How could you do that to someone you loved?

Jealousy, though. Answered that question I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to. Is, I mumbled. Maybe I shouldn’t assume that or even that the dream was accurate. How could that be explained? Dual personalities? Maybe we should have crawled out of here before she had my blood boiling. It wasn’t, yet, but it was getting warm. The situation had my blood warming up. It shouldn’t have mattered but I kept trying to pick apart my vision. I’d felt it. Would have even made more sense if it was some kind of crush. Was the vision saying what she felt? What she was (attempting) to sing? I felt pain and loss. I sighed and pushed it away.

Even with the revelation I couldn’t even figure a reason for pity. Might have had some when I’d first met her, even though I wouldn’t have even said it then. Didn’t know what it was like to be a lone, but I liked to think I knew what I had. Had torn me in two just losing Vega. Even those who had straggled off into “civilization” as they’d called it had hurt. But the moment I saw her with Rigel I felt I knew exactly why she was a lone. No, pity wasn’t something she’d be getting from me any time soon.

Wait, what? What was this? Oh, wait, I knew exactly what this was. Skirting around the truth. You think this is about the fucking bracelet, Luxx? Seriously? You know it isn’t. I pulled myself up, now sitting and making sure to have space between us. Physical distance was a must because being close with this mix of emotions left me not even be able to predict how I’d react. Part of me wanted to strangle her, and the other part wanted to kiss her just to see exactly what she’d do, as if the bracelet wasn’t proof enough. I scooted back even further, because right now I didn’t trust either of us. Why do you wear it? Why are you jealous of Elara? How could you attack Rigel if you lo- I stopped myself because I had made an agreement and I sure as hell wasn’t ready for whatever revelation she had about me.

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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Sun Jun 11, 2017 1:25 pm

What the fuck was going on? I knew my head was a battleground but shit I’d at least thought I’d had some grasp of this situation. Shit where were the Fangers when you needed them? They’d managed to interrupt what had turned into yet another mind-boggling argument between the Alpha and I when I’d used the fucking scrying bowl last time. Hell, I’d trade their appearance then with a cameo now if I had the opportunity to manipulate space and time. Pain and sorrow. Blood and anguish. My looming demise. All of it just stopped me from really understanding fucking anything. But this really did take the cake. “I know? Well, clearly I fucking don’t. You wanted to see my wrists for some fucking reason. Then you make a deal out of the bracelet. But now it’s not about that but I’m meant to fucking know what the hell is going on?” I just shook my head at him, shrugging my shoulders slightly, hands out in front of me, palm upwards. Exasperated. “See if from my perspective. You sound fucking mental.” My question had literally been related to what he had just experienced. I’d just wanted to know if Vega had shown him the same thing the Ancestors had shown Onyx. It was fucking simple. Whatever the Alpha had been given had been for a reason because I couldn’t see the Ancestors as being the type who fucking rolled a dice and just randomly assigned that shit. Yet I still didn’t get why they had to be so cruel when I was already suffering enough. Vega had tried to drill some regret into my brain that I wasn’t going to let join the rest of the floodgates I was already freaking out over. Fine, whatever, Apollo was goddamn Ancestors gift to the fucking Wolf species. Why should I give any fucks?

Even though my jacket was now over the bracelet I looked down to where it was. Almost being able to see it through the fabric. I’d just forgotten to take it off that’s all. I’d put it on after god knows how long and then just…didn’t want to take it off. Yeah. Fuck. I’d just lied to myself before. Sure I had forgotten about it but now that I had remembered, I didn’t want to remove it, let alone give it back. My fingers encircled my wrist where the weaving sat and rubbed, pushing the cords up against my skin. I just…I dunno. “I just like it okay? Fuck. Am I not allowed to like things? It…I dunno…it’s just a fucking bracelet. An ugly fucking one but its like that god awful blanket of yours…” I stopped. Wait how the fuck was it like that bloody thing? Why did I even had fond memories of a kiddy cartoon bed covering? Why did thinking about any of this shit make my chest hurt? It made the wound on over my heart actually start sparking with rivulets of pain. I knew my face had now begun moving between annoyance and complete and utter puzzlement. I was grasping at straws, really searching for a needle in a haystack of similar metal implements.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell your bitch girlfriend that I’m jealous of her. Actually, no, tell her, then maybe she’ll just appreciate what she fucking has and stop rubbing it in my fucking face all the goddamn time. Urgh, that fucking smile of hers gets on my last goddamn nerve.” How many times did I just say ‘fucking’ in one sentence? “It’s Vegas fault. Every time you and Princess Passive Aggressive were off having loving dovey time I wasn’t even allowed to just go over and…” Example. Come on brain example time. Spit it the fuck out. “….ask what time training was in the morning.” Yeah, that was a good one Luxx. Like I had ever forgotten that shit back then. Fuck my life. Groaning I just put my head in my hands, pressing my palms into the eye sockets. “I fucked up, pretty fucking sure I just told you that before we went on the freak show ride run by your Spiritual Leader. You’re about as deaf as Onyx. The two of you are going to have to put new batteries in your hearing aids when you have chats that’s for fucking sure.”

I tried to stand up. Shuffling over to use the Scrying Bowl rock itself as an old ladies walking frame. “You can stay here. I’m leaving. Feel like I’m about to have a fucking heart attack or something my chest is all tight. Air must be thin in here.” My legs weren’t entirely cooperating though. Pins and needles the size of fence posts shooting through one leg that I must have had twisted at an awkward angle and not noticed. Actually, couldn’t wait to no longer have a body. This one was starting to fucking annoy the shit out of me. “Plus you said we could just sit here and now it’s turned into twenty questions and as far as I know I’m not going to win anything by answering them. No sleek convertible or even a fucking two slice toaster.”

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Paul Thacker
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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Paul Thacker | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Wed Jun 21, 2017 12:48 pm

Maybe this was why I was never in relationships, why that area just seemed as hollow as a drum for me. Girls were just complicated. As them to walk from point A to point B and they have to go through the whole damn alphabet before they get back to B. Was she clueless as she sounded or just absolutely dodging the subject? Acting like she didn’t even know it was my bracelet to begin with? Don’t dodge this. Or maybe do. Maybe I should just cover my ears and mouth and let this go away. Why did Vega want me to see this? To go easy on her? For almost killing someone important to me? For ruining the dignity of my alpha and pack?

The blanket? I was not wrong about going through the whole damn alphabet. You know what this was? This was Harry Potter finding out that Bellatrix Lestrange was in love with him. What about my blanket? Wait, wait a minute. Why are you so defensive about all of this? I’m not.. It’s not like I’m accusing you of murder or something. This isn’t even about my vision or anything - just something I thought I saw. Outright lie, but it didn’t change the point of any of this. Half made me want to wash my blanket, but the damn thing would fall apart at this point and it would be just another thing she’d indirectly caused me to lose. You trying to get under that blanket? I half grinned, knowing it was an attempt at a tension breaking joke but it was in poor taste. That it would not go over well and maybe that was the point.

She doesn’t have me. No one has me. Elara lost a lot too when the Sequoia fell apart. We had these expectations for our lives and they just fell apart, so we share that. The weight of Luxx’s words never settled on me until it was too late. Appreciate what she has… She wasn’t hiding it, was she? I had thought she was dancing around it, but either she was actually being open or just shit at tiptoeing. Yeah, you told me that your selfish desire to be an alpha trumped our family. My feelings. So apparently these visions can be full of shit. And it slipped, one proving me a liar but two I’d actually openly broken our agreement. I really fucked up. I shouldn’t have brought this up but what the hell else am I supposed to do with this? I’d just said it myself. I was supposed to go home, get absolutely wasted, and forget it. Possibly even borrow some of Matrix’s stash - which would no doubt make his head explode. Whatever I had to do. Wasn’t too late for that. But none of it would be as effective since it was cemented as fact rather than some psychedelic vision.

It would be a question for me to find an answer to - could Luxx have influenced what I saw? It made more sense than the idea of Vega playing matchmaker from the stars. I think it’s best if we both leave. I pushed myself from the ground, not realizing how woozy I felt until I stood, my legs a little like jello until I steadied myself. You’re right, I agreed not to ask, and trust me - I’m sorry I did. I stopped, leaning forward and bracing myself against one of the walls of the small cavern. If she was leaving, why wasn’t she getting up? Alright, I’ll bite. What is the sleek convertible for you? What do you want from me? You want the grand romantic gesture? You want me to say I’ve loved you since the beginning? That every time we were close I just hoped I’d get the courage to make a move? You want me to make a move now? When was I going to stop asking questions I didn’t want answers to?

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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Wed Jul 05, 2017 3:09 pm

I felt like shit. That was really saying something because it wasn’t like I’d turned up feeling like a box of fluffies to start off with. We were definitely having one of those conversations where one Wolf was on a completely different page to the other. Yet what fucked me up was that it didn’t feel as if we were reading from entirely different books. Only mine had some bad printing issues and I was missing part of the fucking story. Or some asshole had spilt coffee over it and had done a shit job of drying the parchment off before returning it into my hands.“I’m not dodging.” I growled having now properly reached up around the rim of the scrying bowl, finally able to actually get to my feet. The barely existent regrowth of my fingernails gathered moss in crescent moon shapes with the grip required to wrench my body upright.

“Defensive.” Just repeating his words. He wasn’t wrong. I did sound defensive. Throwing up walls faster than it was possible for plaster and mortar to solidify into something actually fucking sturdy. More like using doilies as shields in a gladiators arena. It did feel like he was accusing me of murder. It actually fucking did. “I’m way too fucked up to deal with this.” Mumbling almost entirely to myself I glared into the waters of the stone basin watching my eyes short circuit with a rage I was trying to conjure in order to clear my head. I was pissed off at him for even speaking. Even though I had been the one to bring up the fucking blanket I was annoyed that he was making that into a big deal just like the bracelet. Which likely was going to be made into this fucking monumental point of contention until I was expecting to be told it wasn’t about the blanket. I was pissed off at Vega for making things even more complicated when it hadn’t already been a fuckfest of grand proportions. Mostly I was livid at myself because I had this sinking feeling that I was forgetting something. Like when you’re about to leave the house satisfied that you have everything you need. Keys, Phone, Wallet, Blood Vials. Only to discover twenty minutes into the day you forgot to put pants on. Having it pointed out by someone else. As soon as he made a quip about me hiding my eyes managed to find their full light. A yellow reflection bouncing off the surface of the water and rebounding off the jet hair floating around.

Have him? When the fuck had I said anything about him? I hadn’t meant that when I’d thought it? When I’d said it? I let out a controlled angry breath that rippled the liquid in front of me. It wasn’t just an attempt to gather what fury I was managing to collect, it was also an expression of relief. Before I could snap with a retort about how I didn’t want to talk about her anymore. Never wanted to hear her name spoken again in this fucking cave when he continued to ramble on. Our Family. His Feelings. What the fuck? My book was clearly in Japanese. Or his was. Someone had written a bunch of notes in the margins of his and they were helping him to cheat on every fucking test related to the source material. “What?..” He wasn’t allowing me to get a word in and that definitely took me back. Trying to stop Apollo when he had his mind set on something that needed to be explained in detail to the fullest extent of his ability was like expecting a freight train to slow down by putting a teddy bear on the tracks. “What are you meant to do with what?” Technically I was probably slower on the mark because everything about my reaction times were dulled but he suddenly said a bunch of shit that made me spin around with energy I didn’t even know I had, letting go of the scrying bowl as if it had suddenly become red hot.

My eyes widened. They didn’t drop their glow. Just became spotlights directed on him as he leaned against the side of the cave. Panic thick and furious bubble in my gut, mixing a cocktail that no one would want to drink. “What?” I hadn’t wanted to know what he had seen. It hadn’t mattered. I didn’t understand why he was asking me ridiculous things. Why it made me want to scream, and cry and tear the fucking cave apart with my bare hands. Now I needed to know. I needed to know what he had been shown. Needed. “What do I want from you?” I took a step towards him, snarling. “I want to know what you saw.” I grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands, staring right up into his face. Eyes still at max capacity. “What you now know about me.” My fingers twisted the material desperately. Stricken by a maddening desire to understand what the fuck was going on. Begging him to give me his fucking book so I could catch up on the parts of the story I was missing. “Why you’re asking me…?” About things I couldn’t have.

My eyes moved quickly from his to my own hands and I immediately released them. Letting go of his shirt, the fingers trembling. What the fuck was I doing??? “Why do you make me so weak?” I hadn’t realized I was saying the thought allowed until I heard my own voice and that was more than enough to rekindle embers that had been smoldering. Yet the anger didn’t rise in my voice, in my fingers. It rose to my cheeks. Heat as bright as the sunlight I associated him with. I knew my cheeks were aflame with a vibrant blush probably more definitive than anything that had infiltrated my face since my skin was so pale. I stumbled backward from him. Tearing my eyes away, trying to look anyway but him. Before I knew what was happening I had bolted from the cave. Running away. It was what I did best.

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