setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
PLAYBYS: Sims from the games Sims 2, 3 and 4 are used to visually represent player’s original characters (no characters from within the franchise are allowed). But, you do not need these games to join and roleplay! If you wish, you can post a thread in our out of character / general forum and list as many physical details about your character as you wish. The members of Index will happily try and make a character for you, and you can choose which one you feel best fits your vision.

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 [Private] It Can Always Get Worse - Page 3

[Private] It Can Always Get Worse

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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Tue May 23, 2017 3:58 am

We were different. I’d always seen us that way. It was more obvious now than it had ever been. I frowned. Closure? Didn’t I just fucking give him some just before? I’d told him what happened and then he had started asking questions. Why couldn’t he just be satisfied with the turn of events I had given him. It wasn’t the whole truth but fuck. He didn’t want to hear that and I didn’t want to tell it. So just take the bone that was given. I didn’t hand them out often. Fuck it. I wasn’t talking about it anymore. I’d said what I’d said and I shouldn’t have even bothered. “You’ll be welcome. You all will be.” All except me. “Yeah well we all suffered losses. My old pack lost all their lives. At least Vega can rest easy that the traditions and history of the Sequoia won’t disappear.” I just needed to shut the fuck up at this point. Drink from the fucking bowl and see my Grandmother. Stop talking to him. Before I said something even more stupid. I grit my teeth together as he clawed my arm, letting the blood dribble into the water. Watching him drink I actually waited until after his eyes had gone glassy, the eyelids closing before I dipped my hands into the basin. He wouldn’t hear me but I responded to his statement anyway. “It won’t make up for shit because its going to get worse Apollo. I’m going to make sure it fucking does. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you tried to kill me.” Of course I didn’t actually believe it was him who had tried to poison me with silver. It had been done in his name though. So as far as I was concerned that was a valid reason to kick up a fuss about it. Point an accusatory finger right in his face.

I had been readying myself for some bullshit. Campfires. Banjo. Fucking full moons over the lake. Fuzzy, furry, happy memories. Shit that was just going to piss me off. Apollo wasn’t like Onyx. Night and Day. Which is why I didn’t expect it when I was surrounded in fire. I couldn’t even make out the landscape from within all of the smoke that billowed up. It might as well have just been an empty void because that’s what it looked like. Black filled with flames that ate and devoured everything so it was so unrecognizable. Not even staring into it made a fucking difference. There was no heat. Instead off the roaring inferno came a feeling. I knew this. I’d felt it once for the Dominion and still felt it now for the Ancestors. Duty. An unwavering conviction to the bond of pack. It made me uncomfortable. What I shared with the Ancestors was a tether that extended to all wolves, no matter their beginnings. Of course, I had to admit those strings that bound us all were so fucking thin and transparent they could have been a spider web. They were still there as far as I was concerned. This was greater, more powerful. Comforting but at the same time utterly terrifying. Though it was hard to tack on my own emotions to the sensation because Apollo’s were so…absolute. Each flicker of the fire sent a gust of it in my direction. The smoke carrying it and inserting it into my bones. When I looked down I could see pine needles, sticking out of my skin. Jabbed into the naked flesh. What? Why the fuck was I naked? Apollo you fucking perv. Blood trickled out of the wounds but I didn’t feel any pain associated with them. Plucking one from my flesh. Though it was but a small pin prick, blood began to spill from the wound. A puddle forming around me. My toes wiggled in the crimson liquid while I looked around utterly confused. Feeling like I was meant to be doing something.

With that sense of duty that needed to be fulfilled, I tried to take a step forward out of the pool of my own blood I was standing in. It had grown to the point I should feel a little woozy. As I tried to step beyond it my foot hit an invisible wall. Trying to cage me Apollo? Fuck you. I kicked like a fucking spaz at nothing. Splashing red all up my bare legs. “Fine then!” I yelled into the flames. “I’m not going anywhere, do your worst Sunboy!” Like my challenge had conjured him he appeared. Completely starkers too. Part of me wished we hadn’t agreed not to speak of this. Not that deals brokered with an asshole really needed to be kept. It felt like it would be a disservice to Vega, not to him, to mention a damn thing. I wanted to though. Ask him why the fuck we were naked in his head. He just stood in an opening in the inferno I hadn’t noticed had parted. Staring at me with the usual stoic look on his face. Shoulders back. Head held high. Firelight dancing over his bare skin. Shadows teasing through every shard of muscle. I stared him down, met his eyes, held them. Like it was a test in order to do so. When a figure moved from in behind me and Apollo’s own gaze shifted I realized he hadn’t been looking at me. My shoulders sagged a little. Rigel strode forward. I remembered his face so clearly. One that I could recreate perfectly. He too was naked and I sighed wondering if it was always a nudist beach in Apollos head.

A chill ran through me as I caught sight of a gaping hole in Rigel's chest. Jagged, rough, lopsided. Not at all central. A maw that had opened up where his heart should be. Our youngest Warlord in twenty years. I’d heard this before. A tale told to others about how great Apollo was. In some way I must have lapped it eagerly up. Since I’d created that damned stupid kid's bedtime story featuring a character that resembled him. Made me fucking sick. “Yeah yeah.” I muttered but I couldn’t deny the emotion that held my heart in a vice grip. That sense of duty. All these flames omitted it. A cloud so intoxicating I felt like I was gagging on it. All the bullshit he fed me about being full of myself seemed far more laughable now. Fucking prick thought he was a warrior extraordinaire. Both Warlord and Alpha ignored me. I slammed my fists against my wall-less prison trying to get their attention. Rigel reached over and pulled something from the nearest blaze. A stick, completely engulfed in fire. Though the flames didn’t burn him, when he pressed the torch against Apollos arm, the skin began to melt. “Stop!” Wailing on the invisible wall I watched with a growing horror as his Pack Master purposefully scared him. What the fuck was it about these scrying bowl acid trips that had me witnessing these men being tortured by their Alphas? Apollo didn’t even flinch. Not a single twitch in his face and I was watching intently. Trying to keep my eyes from looking down at the damage being done to his body.

Once one arm was completely blackened, Rigel moved to the next. I felt numb now watching this sick fucking scene. Observing almost blankly as the flames charred the Sequoia Warlord. It was like he was accepting this. Not fighting at all. Once Rigel was done he stepped back and my eyes widened as the distorted volcanic surface of what had been tanned skin suddenly shifted. The crackling ripples that smoked morphed, lessened and turned into risen burn scars. A series of the pack symbol for the Sequoia down each arm, slightly overlapping one another. Like macabre gauntlets. As soon as they formed the fires died down. The flume still holding that scent of duty and honor. Rigel patted Apollo on the shoulder and then finally the Warlords eyes locked on me. I actually turned around for a moment to check there wasn’t someone else behind me. When I twisted back I was met with his face. I gasped not being able to stop myself from trying to look down at those arms. To get a closer look. Apollo grabbed my neck roughly. My eyes snapped open, trying to be furious but the emotion that leaked from his fingertips that dug deeply into my windpipe obliterated it. Pride. He had no expression on his face. Choking I raked at his hand. Hadn’t realized until then that my hands were coated in blood. Bloody fragments of something hanging from them. Like I’d just been rummaging around in someone's chest cavity. I tried to frantically release the grip but the proud pulses invading my senses drained my limbs of any rage that I needed to really put up a fight. He punched me. Hard. Right in the cheekbone. With my head ringing, I continued to limply struggle. He hit me again. Harder this time. It didn’t hurt. I could feel the bone’s shattering in my face but no pain. What did hurt is that every single smash was injected with fierce pride. Infuse that with all of the smoke and I realized that he was doing what needed to be done. Executing a Lone for taking the heart of his Alpha. I stopped struggling. There was no point. He continued to hit me until I blacked out.

Coming to I eagerly sat upright. Had gotten that shit over and done with. Now I got to see Vega. I had already known Apollo hated my guts and wanted me dead. Shouldn’t have been a surprise. Yet feeling the emotions associated….that was a whole different story. So pure. Distinct. Powerful. Rubbing a hand over my eyes I shivered. Directly in front of me was the Sequoias oasis lake. It had a name. I couldn’t remember it. We had called it so many different things and yet everyone knew what place we were talking about, no matter the title. I only knew it was the lake because I remembered the shape of it perfectly. Fuck. Now that was a realization I didn’t need to have. Had to count myself lucky this time, that I did remember because there were no trees. No vegetation at all. The water looked solid and was a dark murky color. A landscape of desolation. On the far side of the lake I saw a collection of figures. As they advanced on my position I got to see their faces. Matrix, Nova and Elara. Three of the Sequoias wolves that I avoided. They had rabies, all three of them. Just as I suspected they began to shift. Slowly. Really fucking slowly. Every crack of bone more definitive at the speed. Snapping and reforming muscles. Fur sprouting. Teeth and fingers elongating. “Where is Vega?!” I screamed at them bouncing onto my feet ready to defend myself. Was already done with this fucking circus. All I wanted was to see her, to hear her voice. Not deal with this fucking shit. Just as I began my own shift the form of a wolf threw itself between myself and the three fuckwads.

I knew who it was. Felt myself beginning to smile until I realized Apollo wasn’t stopping a pack of bullies ganging up on me. As fucking laughable as that was. I didn’t need his help to trounce these idiots. Even he would know that. No. He was shielding them. From me. He dropped form and stood with his arms slightly spread, tilted backward giving the three of them a signal to stay behind him. Protecting them. From me. The transformation I had been undertaking haulted and then reversed. “That’s right, be afraid!” Howling at all three of them I balled my hands into fists, stepping defiantly out onto the lake. It had looked solid and was for them. They had firm footing but as the frozen lake took my weight, I felt it shift beneath me. Sinking down slightly. Trapping my feet. Elara ducked under one of Apollos outstretched arms and buried herself into his side. I think I’ll feel so much better when you’re the Alpha. She mumbled up at him, stroking his chest with relish. I rolled my eyes. What the fuck? What in the serious fuck was this? I cleared my throat as the potential Spiritual Leader began kissing at his neck. Completely oblivious to the fact she had an audience. Or didn’t likely care. I tried to take a step towards her, to remind her that none of us wanted to see this shit but once again I couldn’t move. “Fuck sake…so I can’t run right? Forced to witness” Grumbling under my breath I didn’t even notice that for a second time Apollo was standing over me. He’d lost his wolf shaped limpet. Thank fuck for that. This time I didn’t look up into his face. Couldn’t stand it when he got this close actually. Made my stomach turn. What did people call it? Butterflies? Was that right? Was waiting for another dose of the same. A punch to the face but this time Apollo rammed his hand right into my chest. When his fist emerged it was holding my heart. Which he bit into like a ripe strawberry right in front of me.

Oh......

My hands shook as they rose to graze around the cavernous opening I now had. My eyes filling with tears. Through the blur of water I watched him hungrily devour my heart. His eyes raging into gold but then flickering, short-circuiting into white. I was kind and the Ancestors rewarded me. He spoke with my blood oozing from his mouth, a chunk of my organ lodged in his teeth. Wait. I’d forgotten something important. I’d spent this whole nightmare thinking this was purely Apollo’s doing. That he was showing me how fucking awesome he was. It wasn’t him though. I hadn’t gotten to select what he and Onyx saw. This was what the Ancestors wanted me to see. How great of an Alpha Apollo would have been. Though I hadn’t been the one to actually take that from him. I had tried to. They were showing me that I had been wrong. Did I actually do anything right? Like at all? Fuck! “But I didn’t. I stopped. I even told him that.” Like the statement wasn’t enough the ground beneath me gave way. What I thought had been some kind of poisoned tainted frozen water wasn’t. It was tar thick blood and it swallowed me whole.

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Paul Thacker
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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Paul Thacker | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Wed May 24, 2017 6:48 pm

I’d seen fangers burned alive. I’d seen mutilated humans. But there was something about the insidious nature of what was before me that made it hard to stomach. And something else about it - the victim. Was I feeling this way as a reaction to how she apparently was seeing me? I dropped to my knees and the scene began to fade away, which wasn’t hard because other than her, her white dress, her blonde locks, and the blood staining her from mouth down, everything was blacker than night. I scrambled to my feet, looking around, trying to smell, to listen, anything. It was nothing.

Until objects, small ones appeared one by one. Glass bottles, a beaded curtain, all of it just seeming to float. A stick of incense bouncing on the little plate, burning and the smoke curling up. I knew where I was when the couch appeared, with the rainbow crocheted blanket draped over the backside. Vega? It came out shaky, high pitched, and it echoed. More objects began to appear, and I could smell her but I couldn’t yet see her. The rug that looked like colored bamboo, where she always sat doing yoga or burning candles, whatever spiritual stuff she did. Where I’d often find Elara sitting across from her. Windows with colorful curtains, it was almost painfully slow and I could catch glimpses of memories with each object that appeared. The shelf with a couple pan flutes, photos, figures, knick knacks that I wish I’d paid more attention to. One of the walls a seafoam color with white paint sponged over it to create texture. The room finally finished, except for the ceiling, but after a couple minutes passed I realized that was all I was getting. The image of that living room, surrounded by black. It was even the view outside the window. When I looked back, Vega was sitting on the floor, grinning almost like she had when Rigel told me I’d be the next Warlord.

VEGA! I fell to my knees in front of her, my head falling onto her shoulder, my hand resting on the back of her neck gripping. I could stay here, couldn’t I? I could stay here and ignore the world around me. I never got to say bye.

What the hell are you on about, Apollo? I’m not gone. She smiled as she shoved me off. Sit down, she commanded and I followed orders. We don’t have time for that sap. How sad do you think I am? What do you think I would have been if I would have survived? I would have stepped down, forgotten by all, well… She stroked my face. Except you.
I wish you were here.
Apollo! Get it through your thick skulled brain! I am here. And at this moment I have too much to tell you and not nearly enough time so quiet with you! I laughed through tears. She never put up with anything, and she used that to lift others up instead of push them down.
I knew I wouldn’t make it, Paul. I’ve known that for a long time. I know a lot of things. Apollo, I have something that’s been weighing on me. So let me do this. I just focused, tried to calm myself down, I listened.
I knew you’d never be Sequoia’s alpha, but I knew you’d need the strength of one. My jaw fell open, I inhaled sharply. I didn’t know what to make of that, I didn’t even know how it made me feel. I’d dealt with it already, in my own way, taking pride in leading mine to a new home. And then I felt like they were being pulled away in a sense, like a man marrying off his daughter. Bittersweet. I know you, you’ll need time to process that, just remember: she’s not the reason you never got your white eyes.

She tried to ruin-
Apollo, is this how you want to spend your time with me? She smiled, and I did too. You don’t get it both ways, Apollo. You can’t be mad at her for starting a civil war, when you’re still arming your own troops. Go build a house with your enemy.

The room was gone. Vega was gone. I inhaled sharply as if I’d just come up from water. My eyes opened to find the cave and I reached instinctively, I would have even been satisfied with the black. VEGA! I screamed and it echoed, allowing me to hear the pain in my own voice. It wasn’t a scream it was a cry. I rolled over and vomited and suddenly I felt as if I was on waves. Not spinning, but thrashing up and dropping down. I reached for something to grip onto, the edge of the bowl, but I managed to look behind me just in time for the vomit to come out, but I continued to cling to something.

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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Narrative |

Posted on Fri May 26, 2017 1:55 am

Narrative is the Demon Lilith.




Her precious Ancestors cast her out.  Serving her right into my influence as her consciousness tried to return to the physical realm. How would my little pet take this development? She had come here twice to the vision waters. Both times the stain upon the font alerted me to its usage. First, it had been with my vessel. Now with the Sun Warlord. That wasn’t the frequency of a Wolf seeking guidance. It was of one who needed it and assumed she could only get it from one source. Patience was not in endless supply but good things do come to those who wait. How quaint. She’d shown me how to tame her nature now.

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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Fri May 26, 2017 2:07 am

Not to worry Lilith.

Sucking in a breath of air that wasn’t hindered by torrents of blood, I opened my eyes to myself. My doppelganger. I wasn’t surprised. Just stared right back into my own eyes. Both of us cross-legged in front of one another in that same part of the forest I had been in with Onyx the last time. It was cold. It was dark and it was empty. No Vega. No, I knew now. I wasn’t going to get to see her. Apollo hated me. Vega hated me. They all blamed me. Blamed me for something I didn’t even do. I should have been happy. Deliriously so. That I would never have to douse Apollo’s flames in gasoline because he was literally a raging inferno. Filled with everything good which fought against all the darkness of me. Should have been happy but wasn’t. My reflection reached out and stroked a section of my hair off my face. The fingers that sent a horrible chill through me drifted down and hovered over the wound on my chest. She frowned. “All I have is myself.” Her eyes flicked back up to mine, the hand pulling back. Not true. Yes, it was. It had always been that way. Would always be now. Wait, no, I had the Ancestors. “They sent you, right? The Ancestors. They knew that Vega didn’t want to see me so they sent you for comfort.” It was comforting actually. Yes Lilith. Didn’t know why I was talking to her like she didn’t already know what I was thinking. Guess it was one of those, looking into a mirror moments. When people gave themselves a pep talk while brushing their teeth in the morning. Didn’t have anyone else to talk to. Plus I was crazy. So why the fuck not?

You aren’t alone. You have someone. Who? Who the fuck did I have? The only person I knew that really truly wanted to be around me was collared because of me. Good fucking thing I was going to die. Couldn’t take much more of this. Loneliness was at it’s most painful when I had to face it directly. Surrounded in Wolves and not a single one of them could fully accept me. “Sona is going to die. I was too late with her. Didn’t know how devasting it is for me to love someone. Why would the Ancestors let it be this way?” She rose from her position and moved in behind me. Wrapping her arms about me. A cold began to seep into my bones but I didn’t move. Let her hold me. “They give me a prophecy about being fucking kind and open. Protecting an Alpha who despises me. Then expect me to do those things when nothing goes right, nothing feels right.” She began stroking my hair. Shushing me like a child. Twirling her fingers up in the tendrils. “Just tell me I’m strong and that everything will be okay.” I mumbled. I’d never show weakness to others but I was chatting away to myself like I needed a padded room and a strait jacket so it didn’t count as far as I was concerned.

I needed my Priest. That was a fucked thing to think but it was true. In my own arms I didn’t feel safe. No wonder though, I was madder than a bag of feral cats. You are stronger. Stronger than any of them. They aren’t worth your time Lilith. They are beneath you. You are meant for a greater purpose. They sense that and are jealous. She paused as if thinking about what she should say next. The Ancestors have a plan. You’re a big part of that. Your love isn’t meant for any of them. “My love isn’t meant for anyone. They all fucking die if I truly love them.” What was the fucking point in living without being able to express or receive love? That’s why I wanted to fucking die. I wasn’t some emo school girl who thought that the world was a travesty and would never get any better. I wasn’t working on some fucked belief that everyone and everything was out to get me. There were facts right in front of me. I would never have a pack. Never be allowed to feel anything for anyone unless I wanted them to become a fucking corpse. Could never gain enough trust to receive anyone else's affections and if by a strike of lightening I did I didn’t have a clue as to whether they would turn out like Dominion and Sona. I was fucking damned. I had just needed to hold on long enough to complete my prophecy so all of this could finally end.

“Have I done what they asked? Did I fulfill my duty to Onyx?” Would she even know? She was me and yet the Ancestors had sent her right? She had confirmed that. I could very easily lie to myself though. Aspects of today were a surefire testament to that. No. That word was a stab wound. Right to my heart. At least I now knew what I had to do. I had to join the pack. How the fuck was that going to happen? “So I’m fucked then. I’m going to die and then my spirit is going to be lost to the winds.” My doppelganger held me tighter. Icy arms drawing me in. You aren’t going to die. Fuck this was a morning ritual pep talk wasn’t it? Trying to amp myself up for what was coming. I’ll tell you why if you’ll listen but we need to discuss this. Her hand pressed over the wound in my chest.

I’d been waiting to hear what kind of story I’d concocted to tell myself before I was back in the cave. I heard Apollo yell. Couldn’t make out the word just heard the pain in the tone. Returning to my physical body reminded me of how much agony I was in. Now it was complete. A full fucking circle. Both body and mind in the throws of torture. As if it hadn’t been bad enough before. Tears gathered. Fell. I couldn’t stop them. The unnerving vertigo of having an astral form roughly thrown about made me forget. So when Apollo stumbled I moved awkwardly around the stone bowl to grab hold of his arm. Emptily asking him a question. “Is she happy?”

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Paul Thacker
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Re: [Private] It Can Always Get Worse

Paul Thacker | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Sun May 28, 2017 8:28 pm


The waves, the spinning, the feeling like there was no ground beneath me was slowly subsiding. I repeat: slowly. I fell backwards, my back thudding against the ground and I stared at the ceiling of the cave and my hands gripped onto dirt, small pebbles beside me. I heard the question, sort of. It was almost like it was a ten minute drive from my ears to my brain. Even then, I almost reactively answered it. But I wasn’t that stupid. I wasn’t always observant of these things, but I did observe that. You didn’t see her. It sounded sad, more sad than I expected and I was. I was sad for her. God, I could never tell Matrix that. She hasn’t known Vega her entire life like I had. Didn’t imagine she could see Vega as a mother figure as much as I had, since the woman whose womb I’d fallen out of was more of a pillbilly aunt. But she still connected with her, she still seemed a little lost to me except for when she was with Vega. My head rolled toward her finally, slowly, like I was scared I was going to vomit if I moved too fast. Flash of the worms falling out of Luxx’s mouth. Shit. Luxx, I’m sorry. The best I could give her was the honest answer to that question.

You know I don’t bullshit with things like this, you know I mean it when I say this, but she is happy. She knew, Luxx. She said she’d rather it be this way than to step aside and uh.. I hated to say it, because she wouldn’t have to me but she wasn’t wrong. basically fade away. She feels more useful with the ancestors. I pressed my fist to my mouth, holding still, only then realizing her hand had been on my arm. I didn’t move it. Fuck, it was almost comforting. It was, but it was also confusing as hell.

The rest of it came flooding through and I remembered our promise. Not to talk about it. Fuck, I both wanted to and didn’t. Had thought this was just going to be a chance to say goodbye to Vega and had no idea to expect - Did you know we’d see… I swallowed, sighed, and tried to think of a way to spit out my words without asking specifics. I saw something else first. Did you know that would happen? My now woke mind began scrambling to find explanations. Did what I saw have anything to do with her ghoulish appearance? Did it mean anything other than just being a shit-show from a horror movie?

I’m not moving, at least not for a while. And I swear to God if you tell Matrix about this, I’ll kill you myself, I grinned, but it was weak, half smile, but you don’t need to move either. We don’t need to talk, I just… fuck I don’t know what I’m trying to say.

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