setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
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 [Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name - Page 3

[Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name

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Re: [Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Wed May 17, 2017 4:01 am

His response to me talking about the shadow woman made me think about why I shouldn’t have said it. Why he wouldn’t want to hear about it. All I could glean from the situation is that I shouldn’t have. Having a casual chat about fucky hallucinations and ghosts was the last thing I should want to do. He was the last person I wanted to know that I was fucking crazy. Me not bringing it up again wouldn’t be for his benefit but mine. “Black or red. I can’t remember. How does something glow black anyway? Oh, and it smokes.” Something about a tattoo, brand, mark thing of Onyx’s smoking was funny, so I smiled. Inappropriately. Like walking into a church wearing devil horns and a spiked tail to announce I was opening up a free blowjob stall out front. “Was going to ask you where you got the funky ink. Might need to get another tattoo so it would be fucking cool to have one that lights up.” In order to get something etched over it, it would have to heal. The claw marks on my chest weren’t from silver so they shouldn’t even scar. Still, for some reason I wanted to cover it. Hide it. Not just because it was ugly. I hadn’t inked my arm just because the heinous scar was fugly. Was part of the reason why, had to admit, but it had more to do with what it reminded me of. My own stupidity.

Hah. Look at me speaking as if I was going to have a chance to book myself an appointment at Tattarama. Fuck it was so easy sometimes to forget that I was going to die soon. Kept making plans in my head. Thinking about shit I wanted to do and see, conversations I wanted to have. Very good at pulling shades down over my own eyes. Having a one track mind when I’d come back from Wisconsin had been so liberating. Soon as I got into the thick of it here I had realized shit was never that simple. I’d forgotten about my promise to Portia. I’d forgotten about Kidd. I’d even forgotten about Sona. Selfishly concentrating on just myself and the end goal of succumbing to the ravages of detox.

“Pfffftt You’re gonna have to prove that in a hot second.”
I’d seen a discarded skateboard around here somewhere during the day. The board was a bit cracked, probably why it had been left behind. How the fuck had I begun thinking about performing tricks I had only ever seen on youtube when shit like that never happened in my dreams? I frowned. Not just with that thought but with his question. It was true wolves didn’t come here. I hadn’t been avoiding them though. I’d dodged having any real conversation with most though. “You obviously come here so that’s a lie.” Had to smile smugly at that one. Always being the one to tell fibs myself. “Is that why you came here? To get away from everyone? If you tell me, I’ll tell you why it is I’m here.” Flashback to when I first returned. The Lone not giving up information without something in return. This time it was more of a silly game rather than a tactical plot to get what I needed.

I found myself staring at him in a way I didn’t think I had before. Slow eye blinking was making it difficult but I was beginning to wonder why I avoided deep conversations that felt like they had underlying meanings. Oh! I remember the answer to this question! It’s because the Lone always has to look dumb. Then no-one suspects that she actually knows what she’s doing. “The most powerful thing on earth is a soul on fire. Maybe that’s why I like you. Some people are cigarettes breaks but you’re definitely a forest fire.” I said like you when really I should have said lust after you. Dammit. All this banter of the strange kind was fucking with the mojo of this dream.

Or maybe it wasn’t. The undressing was the right plan. I knew it. There had been one particular dream where that had been true. All I’d done was slowly remove clothing, mine and his, while a song that I had deleted from my playlist had warbled in the background. Had excommunicated all of them. Every song that had featured in a dream. Worried that they might all have the fucked effect that one had at the bonfire. Reducing me to a sex crazed zombie. Was no need to fear that right now. It was exactly where this was headed. “How is it fair hmmm?” I took one last mouthful from my vodka bottle and then placed it down a safe distance away. Spilt liquor was a crying shame. Especially when I hadn’t paid for any of this. I was a lot of things but a thief I was not. Aside from a few lapses in judgement like that car to get to Seattle and Apollo’s bracelet, I never stooped that low. Ozra would find every missing bottle included on my tab. Which was longer than the river nile.

“Personally I think its fucked.” I reached over to attempt to unhinge his fingers from the whiskey. “That you of all people. Someone I should have no interest in other than the organ pumping in your chest” The only pumping I was currently interested in had nothing to do with hearts. Giving up on detaching the bottle from his hand I just nudged it aside and climbed into his lap. Knees either side of his hips. Had to be swift. Most of the dreams featured some level of resistance and I’d wasted enough time talking this time around. Removing his hat with my teeth I took a deep breath in. Letting out a soft moan I let the cap detach from my jaws and fall between us. “Guess it’s just instinct. I’ve smelt a fair few Alpha’s but you’re something else.”

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Re: [Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Wed May 17, 2017 4:16 pm

More booze, that's what I needed. I'd been gifted a bottle, and instead I'd only sipped on it like it was hot tea. That wasn't my style, was it? I had no idea where the cap had gone, and it likely didn't matter. Maybe I was feeling nostalgic for the good ol' days when the only thing that gave my heart purpose to pump was the fine siren call of a blackout. My own little vacation from my personal hell. The only time when sleep cared enough about me to stick with me for longer than an hour. Yeah that's exactly what I needed. So I took a gulp, which lead to two, and that to three. That felt about right. When faced with the misery of immortality, blackouts were like brief little deaths. There weren't many that would understand the value of that.

I looked at her, my lazy eyelids granting me a sliver of a view. That's insanity. It was too. I was too sloshed to ask her what the hell she even meant. Speaking in riddles was better suited for a sober mind. Something about glowing ink, which was probably code for something but I wasn't close enough to the white warlord for her to let me in on the inside joke. You can't. That doesn't exist, Luxx. I confirmed for her, but she had a way of convincing herself of things. There was no talking her out of it, even if what she was talking about was a glowing, smoking, tattoo. She could lie a Raggedy Ann doll to life if she wanted to. And that's what this conversation was. A giant, walking, talking, Raggedy Ann doll of a lie. Either that or she'd spent one too many times sitting around a Spiritual Leaders fire and breathing in it's smoke.

I occupied the space in between thoughts, the dead space with more gulps and guzzles. Now things were starting to look right. This was the second cup of coffee in the morning. The first kept your eyes open, but the second really injected some life into your limbs. That's exactly what this was. How hot is it? It was a stupid joke, one that had me wheezing not because it was hilarious but because it was just... It was fucking stupid! How though? You got a skateboard hidden in your bra? I asked, looking around as if I cared enough to prove myself to actually try to find a skateboard. Fuck... I didn't even think I'd ever stood on one. How hard could it be? Feet on board, roll, roll some more. It didn't seem like something that would take a genius to figure out. When it came to fancy flips and shit, that's when I stopped giving a fuck about the skateboard topic.

Oh, I didn't realize I counted. I replied blankly, head tilted back as I spaced out nothing. Staring out into nothingness. I came here lookin' for a place to quietly die a brief death. I laughed, telling the complete truth. She didn't need to know exactly what a brief death really meant, or how easy it was for everyone to experience them. I couldn't risk her being one of the many that didn't know how valuable they were, anyway. I snapped my fingers and pointed at her, the bottle hanging from the same hand, Your turn, no lies, Luxx. Not that I cared, but damn did I like watching her struggle with the truth. It was probably something really grand, the truth always had to be, didn't it? Maybe she came here to pick the petals off a flower to determine if Orion was her one true love. Fuck... Why did have to go and think about that shit?

I tried to cock a brow, but instead they both went up like they were being held at gunpoint. What did you just say to me? I asked, as if she'd just insulted me. I gave up the defense act rather quickly, however, shrugging my shoulders and watching the liquid swirl around the bottle as I shook it around. That's better than being called a dumpster fire, I guess. A grim thought had taken hold, however, and it dug it's claws in and hung on for dear life. But trust me, there are things far more powerful than that. And with that, that grim thought let go, and I let it fall to its death.

My eyes had finally closed, only her voice and the scent of Jack accompanied me now. I'd forgotten the reason, but I knew it made me feel like shit. 'Cause you're the reason I did. I said casually, my eyes opening a sliver again as I smiled, pleased with myself. I guess I didn't forget after all. I didn't even have to dig through barbed wire to find it, my lips were keeping it safely hidden on the surface for easy pickin'. Fuck... I was supposed to lie...

I glared at her trying to pry my fingers off of the only thing that cared enough about me to grant me a break once in a while. I held on tight, too. As far as I was concerned, the bottle was an extension of me. She'd need a cleaver to get it away from me. Because that's not terrifying. I muttered. It was always nice to be reminded that a girl wanted to fry up your heart with some grits. I couldn't think of anything more comforting than that, really. I'd probably find great comfort in- Wait... What was happening... No... This wasn't right?

OH FUCK NO. This wasn't right at all. This was definitely new... Oh god is that what she'd meant when she'd said I was the reason she changed. Oh fuck me... No, wait, DON'T fuck me. Holy fucking shit I'd lost it. I had finally drank so much my brain had officially devolved into rat shit. I stared at her blankly with widened eyes, no slivers this time, like a virgin seeing tits for the first time inches away from his face. Frozen was the right word. Like a fucking statue, growing increasingly angry at my own dick for not knowing the difference between go time and no time. Was she... Did she... I could feel the static causing random strands to stand on end when my hat was removed, and that sound she made.

No... I laughed, I smiled, I actually fucking laughed, but did nothing to move her off of me. This wasn't real. A hallucination. Pretty soon Lilith would work her magic and Luxx' head would detach from her body, or her eyes would explode right out of her skull. Something to that effect, something gory and nightmarish and I'd find myself in my bed with an awkward boner and overwhelming shame splashed with Liliths usual spice of satisfaction and twisted elation.

I began exhaling in short but loud huffs, like I was trying to laugh but I just couldn't quite seem to get the engine started. No... Trust me Luxx, you’re something else. The laugh finally came out, but it was a dud, it puttered out like a backfire followed by that dying engine. Now any other time, my drunken mind would have gone with it, but there was something really bizarre about this. Maybe it was her new appearance, which frankly I didn't favor quite as much as the old one... Or maybe it was the weird personality flop... Or maybe it was both, and maybe it was time to scrap the ''maybes'' and admit it, she was acting like a fucking mental patient and I wasn't going to feed into whatever game she was playing. Because if I was being honest with myself, her personality flip wasn't a coincidence, it was all leading to whatever this was. It all made too much sense.

My glowing eyes stared right into her face, and I gripped her tightly by the thighs and physically moved her off of me, jumping to my feet in a flurry of curse words and I found myself tucking the idiot between my legs into my waistband. I jabbed my finger into her shoulder, This is a new low, Luxx. I wobbled there for a minute, a delayed head rush hitting me shortly after, making me wobble even more. Is this really want you want? Orion isn't enough for you? I'd rather stick my dick in a cactus than stick my dick in a lie. This is... This is a joke! This is a fucking banana peel and I'm meant to slip on it! I guzzled from the bottle and stumbled backwards, the glass clanking against my teeth.

I took another drink and threw it off to the side, glass shattering fuck knows where. Fuck! Why can't you just be... Normal?! I threw my hands up in the air then started tearing off my clothes, bouncing around on my feet for no reason other than being way too fucking sloshed for whatever was happening right now. I GIVE UP! Fuck me, rape me, kill me I'm done. I'm DONE with this shit! One shoe had been kicked off and flung into the cement bowl. My shirt was twisted up around my neck, and I just plopped to the ground completely defeated.

Light a cigarette before I really lose my shit. I said through gritted teeth, but it only came out slurred and lazy.

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Re: [Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Fri May 19, 2017 3:13 am

Pain. Anyone with half a brain would have felt internal agony at what he just said and done but it wasn’t that I was referencing because I didn’t feel in anyway insulted. It was expected. He hadn’t vocalised his mental standpoint on the idea of fucking in my dreams but I had already known where his reluctance came from. In his eyes I was the embodiment of lies and he hated me. That should have made me feel shit. Would have made anyone else who was trying not to be the very thing everyone thought they were, feel like trash. Fighting against the urge to fufill some role they had pegged me into. No. I didn’t feel that kind of pain. I felt actual pain. Dreams were events that everyone tried to understand. Countless books written on the topic of translating even the smallest of details. Experiencing an orgasm wasn’t weird. Nor was smelling something. Hearing words, music or even feeling a hand pressed against your skin. Pain was something that never actually properly manifested. I woke myself up when I ripped into my chest in the real world. Any ghost of the sensation was dulled when someone stabbed you, punched you or in this case, grabbed your thighs. If I hadn’t been in this physical state then his grip wouldn’t have phased me. Weaker physically than I had ever been in my life. Beyond that of human frailty, it actually hurt. Leaving the indents of his fingers in my flesh. It hurt. It actually fucking hurt. Not spectre replacement dream pain but actual pain. “Oh…my…fucking…god..” Whispering to myself. My fingers twitched. This wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t dreaming. Fuck me. Could shit get any worse? Could I fuck the pooch any harder? Fuck I’d actually tried to fuck a pooch actually. Goddamn. A maniacal smile hit my lips briefly. Thank fuck I was dying soon. I’d said and done some screwed up shit in the last week. I looked mental. I felt insane. How to deal with this right now? Ancestors! What the fuck?! Never. I repeat never underestimate how worse it can get.

He looked a sight trying to get undressed. Felt a surge of anticipation in my throat but I swallowed it back. Breathing out slowly I picked up my packet of cigarettes and pulled out two. Moving over to where he was I crouched down next to him. “Fuck and everyone thinks I’m the dramatic one. Someone needs to hand me the script because I totally missed the part where Luxx has ever used sex as a means to fuck with anyone’s head…..oh wait, I just fucking lied to myself…dammit…well okay fair enough, there was that time with Orion but actually I was just horny and had no idea he hated you. That was just a cherry on the top.” What the fuck did I just say? Word vomit. Should stick my fingers down my throat to produce real fucking vomit so maybe my lips would stop moving. “Wow…that makes me sound like I’m deseprate. Which I’m not…this was not…oh fuck me.” No don’t. Change of topic was in order. Thinking about any naked wolf just led me back to the same fucked up place. Where he looked and smelled like a fucking God.

“You came here to die quietly? Well fuck you Alpha. I’m about to die very fucking violently.” Overshare but then that had never mattered before so fuck it. Not like he would give a shit anyway. Probably the safest wolf to say a single thing to about what was about to happen when I thought about it. What I was saying should be coming out with a healthy dose of rage but it wasn’t. So fucking drunk that not even he could knock the pink tinted sunglasses off my face. All he was getting was a simmer. A pot of water on the stove boiling for fucking pasta. “So sue me that I wanted my last meal to be fine dining rather than traitorous back alley burgers.” Good enough explanation right? That the shitty Lone might want to fuck an Alpha instead of Odin’s easily led son. Made sense in my liquor clouded head anyway.

“What the fuck is normal anyway? How am I not being normal?” Couldn’t help it. I cracked a smile. That word, normal, really didn’t apply to me right now. Then again when did it ever? Normal was boring, predictable and mundane. I was anything but. Wildcard so wild that soon as someone starting dealing out the deck, I fell off the fucking table. Before I did indeed fall over, my butt hit the concrete. “Is it because I’m being nice? Because I’m not allowed to be drunk and happy? When fuck, you haven’t been here, you haven’t experienced the fucking misery that has been this place without you. I needed a break alright?” Dusting off a piece of ground, like it was actually going to do something, I placed the cigarettes down. They began to roll, which I battled by holding up my hands using the universal sign for stop. “Is it because I look like I’ve been on meth since you left? Or that I copped a feel? Or all of the above?” Patting down my person was pointless and stupid. I knew I didn’t have my lighter and even if I did I couldn’t work it. Still did it anyway, still staring down the cigarettes like a bloodhound. Willing them to stop moving with my mind.

“Back to our favourite topic. Truth. How I say it and you don’t believe it. Fun times.” Just couldn’t stay angry. Even with only having access to the heavily diluted shadow of what I was capable of. Booze sweeping the slate cleaner than dousing anything in bleach. “I came here because this place was where I used to spend time with a Wolf who had no reason to hang with me, every reason not to and still did. When you’re a Lone you become thankful for company with no strings attached.” No doubt he wouldn’t believe me. Hash on some additional subtext. Completely can the idea entirely and recreate a new one in his head. Whatever Onyx, believe what you want. It’s not going to matter in a few days anyway. “And don’t give me an explanation on why you came here. Don’t fucking ruin it. I have very few good things to think about. I’d rather live in blissful ignorance that under different circumstances we could have been friends.” Shouldn’t have been doing what I had been doing. Plans had always been to avoid the Alpha and work on getting to know the Warlords. Had to test the waters. Find out if any were my cup of tea. Just had found myself fucked when Onyx had become the fucking Alpha out of the blue. Should have just walked away because the only conclusion to eating Onyx’s heart was having Ollurian as my Spiritual Leader. I’d rather drink silver right out of the arsehole of a cow made of the same metal.

Finally reaching out to grab the slowly escaping cigarettes I held them both dumbly, one in each hand. Now I really needed one. “There’s a skateboard under that bush if I remember correctly. Let’s just embrace the liquor please.” He was here now. I’d been meaning to fuel with memories. Might as well just use the opportunity to just do it all for real. If that was possible now. “I’d give you a smoke but we have a problem. You must have a lighter but if I go looking for it you’re going to have a conniption fit again. Put your goods away and help me out. ‘Cause I get it alright. I’ll just go fuck myself.”

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Re: [Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Sat May 20, 2017 10:17 pm

I'd experienced some pretty fucked nightmares. Those nightmares regularly extended beyond sleep. Imagine being a kid and seeing a pair of red eyes staring back at you from under your bed, but when you wake up, they're still there. That was my life on a daily basis. Never ending, childlike fear. Constantly wondering if the life you're leading isn't actually real is one hell of a way to live. And I meant it, it was hell. Never knowing the difference between being awake, being asleep, because both were equally chilling. And it seemed the only break I ever got was when things got really fucking weird. Just like right now.

Oh my fucking god is right. I mumbled angrily. A glare followed, and I thought over the comment that had come out of her. I wasn't fucking dramatic. This fucking situation was dramatic. I glared even harder, which I didn't think was possible. All I knew was it felt like I was trying to squeeze my eyeballs out with the weight of my eyebrows. It fucking hurt, but I kept doing it anyway. And you don't think that's fucked up? Why the fuck you wanna piss me off so much? Why the fuck is that a cherry on top? I don't get it. It was more than I wanted to know. I didn't give a fuck if she wanted to fuck him, I didn't give a fuck if she wanted to rip his head off and fuck that too. I. Did. Not. Care. But most importantly, I didn't want to fucking hear about it. Unless of course she really did rip his head off... That was one story I'd actually enjoy.

Whatever, you're drunk. Don't... Just don't. No, I didn't want to talk about it. What just happened was just another weird Lilith hallucination as far as I was concerned. I'd almost prefer it if it was some kind of new manipulation trick. Fuck the alpha and use him to run the show? Well fuck her, she could crack that whip on someone else. I'd been whipped enough already, literally. I guess you could say I'd built up a tolerance. But still, it was an easier pill to swallow than the idea that this wasn't a new trick she was trying to pull. I couldn't even wrap my head around that one. She fucking hated me, so why would she even try? That wasn't even a pill, that was a basketball. It was fucking impossible.

Nope, I couldn't let my head go there. It was already spinning with one too many sips from the bottle. What the fuck does that even mean? You're gonna die violently. Think I'm gonna kill you for tryin' to ride my dick? Oh fuck, that had me laughing so hard I thought I was gonna piss myself. But it stopped in one brief moment. Like someone had hit the mute button. What the fuck did that mean? A confused glare took over, and I stared at her, and then nothing at all. Was I the burger? Oh fuck... I wanna burger... That sounded fucking bomb. My stomach had even growled, it knew before I did that a burger was exactly what I needed. What the fuck do alleys have to do with anything? I glared, remembering she was speaking a language that I was too fucking drunk to understand.

What? No. And what the fuck does that even mean? Since when does my fucking presence make a difference? If anything I make shit worse. And that's not even what I meant. What had I meant, exactly? I couldn't remember, in fact all I really knew was that I my arm was tingling. It was tangled up in my shirt so tightly I was cutting off my blood supply. And I do know. I looked at her, completely straight faced for all of three second before trying to detangle my arm. Let's go with all of the above... My voice was muffled, I'd somehow made my situation worse. My arm was still tangled, and now my shirt was up over my face. I could feel myself getting pissed, growling and spitting out a wide variety of ''Fucks'' and ''Shits''. When I heard a tear, I wasn't pissed, just fucking relieved because my head was free and arm was no longer caught up in this shit.

Wait... You're on meth? That explained her appearance, but was also fucking disgusting. A wolf on meth... Jesus Christ. 'That really why you look like shit? Or do I have my beer goggles on backwards? My eyes widened, well fuck I hadn't meant for it to come out like that. I shrugged, thinking a mental ''whatever'' as my eyes stared at the cigarettes like I was fucking helpless and didn't know how to light them. Which was likely true. Well not really, I just didn't want to put the effort into lighting one. I knew exactly how well that'd go down. About just as well as it always did. My aim was shit when I was drunk, and tossing my lighter across the lot in a rage would do nothing to help me get a lit smoke between my lips.

My eyes met hers and my head wobbled. Listening to her story like it was story time around the campfire with Port and Pix. I even smiled, which if I hadn't been so fucking drunk I might have realized how jacked it was for me to smile after she finished. Who? I asked, genuinely wondering who the fuck she was talking about. I'd thought only her and I came here... Oh... Nevermind... I really didn't have the mental capacity to deal with her straddling me and deal with a trip down memory lane. She'd have to pick one or the other, because I wasn't about to do both. I told you why I came here. That wasn't a lie. But it was. Truth was, I had no fucking idea why I'd come here of all places. Not a damned clue. But... For the record. We were friends. At least I'd thought we were back then. But we weren't anymore.

Who's not embracing? I asked, patting the ground around me as I looked for the bottle. Oh fuck no, no, no... I'd done it, I'd tossed the goddamned thing and it wasn't even empty. My face fell into my hands like I'd just received news that a loved one had passed. If I was being completely fucking honest... That's exactly what had just happened... My hands slid down dramatically and plopped into my lap. You sure? I smiled, but something about it felt wicked. You don't seem like someone that wants me to put my goods away. I laughed again while I obeyed her order. Unfortunately my sleeve had been torn off, and I had no idea where one of my shoes had disappeared off to. But for the most part, I was back in one piece. We all fuck ourselves occasionally. I muttered as I tossed the lighter into her lap and got up to go find that skateboard.

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Re: [Private] Lighting Cigarettes in your Name

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted Yesterday at 2:02 am

Cherries. Those took me back. Remembered showing Warlord Onyx how I could tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue once upon a time. Little things I tossed in there for good measure. Onyx like many males wolves had taken a gawk at my chest and arse on many occasions and I’d berated him for it. For some reason, that tactic worked wonders. Tell someone they shouldn’t do something and they wanted to do it more. That was about as far as I used sex appeal for anything. What I had been looking for hadn’t warranted any ridiculous level of lust. I’d been looking for a Spiritual Leader. Someone I wouldn’t be ashamed of calling my first. Face easy on the eyes was a give in, I’d be looking at it a fucking lot. The rest of my criteria was not so easily stated. Rather felt. They had to be a certain type of person. Carry themselves in a certain way. Hadn’t really gotten the damn chance to gauge whether Onyx would have been a candidate before he’d been taken off the menu replaced with that blowhard sexist walking monstrosity Ollurian. “As in I could excuse the loose knickers due to other treats I couldn’t have, on being tactical ‘cause Orion is a jealous dildo.” What the fuck did I just say. “Ignore that, highlight and then delete. Look I’ll get you another bottle and that’ll do the trick. No more. I’ll stop. You’ll stop and everything will be strawberries and summer skies.” No more discussions about Orion. I’d already got some fucked text messages from Scarlet and Ollara. How they’d noticed Orion changing his dress sense yet again. Had so not replied to a single one of them.

Claiming drunkenness was a get out of free jail card. It had taken a long time of trying to force myself to remember shit about certain drunken events to actually recall stuff. “In fact. Keep drinking until you forget all of this. That’s what I’m going to do.” Embarrassing that’s what this was. Had only ever intended dreams on remaining fantasies. Was shameful enough that I’d started to fucking like going to sleep. Putting one still unlit cigarette behind my ear I retreated to where the bottles were to grab both my opened one and the new whiskey. If he was just going to throw booze away maybe I should be working some of my new magic. That’s how I had four bottles instead of two anyway. Had only nabbed a couple from Ozra’s stores. Then used my wolf ability to double them. Shit was fucking cool. Not super useful but still exhilarating to know that I was making progress. Putting the whiskey down next to me, away from him and his line of sight, I spent a stupid length of time making sure it was level. Felt like the ground was uneven to me. Couldn’t just give it to him. Bottles weren’t safe in the hands of the Alpha obviously. Should be declaring a mandatory concrete suck for that bullshit. If we were in One Shot that’s what would have happened. Liquor was liquid gold. You spill it you drink it.

I gave him an incredulous glare, though it was certainly diluted by the vodka. “You’re laughing at me dying? Fuck. How many times in one night do you want to stab me?” Even though the words should have been serious I couldn’t help but laugh at his own laughter. Made me wonder why he didn’t just execute me. We’d already seen that’s how this was going to end. He was going to kill me and then probably the heavens would open and he’d be showered with tankers of whiskey brought down on the back of hot naked angels. Following the conversation was difficult. Especially when I was having issues remembering what we had been talking about. What I had been doing. Then getting reminded that I had sat in his lap. Had been thinking about taking his pants off. Then he was talking about burgers and alleys. Making me confuse both of those things with the obvious. There had been an alleyway scene in one of my dreams. Never burgers. Burgers were safe territory. “A burger would be ah-maze-ing.”

“No what? No, I’m not allowed to be drunk and happy?” How did I feel about that as a statement? He did hate me so it had to be expected right? To not even give me a moment's respite because fuck Luxx yeah?. “What do you mean then? Fuck my life Vincent you drive me up the fucking wall.” What were we even talking about? Oh right. Me being abnormal. Fuck this. Taking a heavy swig from my bottle of vodka I made a prayer, oh yeah a fucking prayer, was talking to the human God because the Ancestors seemed to want to bend me over every table available to fuck me senseless. Resorting to asking a being that wouldn’t even listen because I was the wrong damn species. Please Lord give this vodka magical properties that will make this shit make sense. Amen. My eyes snapped to his face when he insulted me again. Just when I was thinking of a way to answer his question without tagging on the slice of bitch wedge that wanted to be added as decoration. Spluttering, having to lean over as excess liquor split from around the mouth of the bottle onto the concrete and not onto my jean shorts. “Hey! Fuck you alright? I’m sick. You just told a fucking sick girl she looks like shit. What an absolute…” Smearing the back of my hand over my mouth I ended up shrugging. “Fuck it. I do look like shit.” Had to agree even though I normally wouldn’t have. What was the point in getting pissy over something that was blatantly true? I looked horrific especially when you compared it to what I had looked like. Had never been a vain wolf before but fuck I’d been a Goddess in comparison to the bag of dicks I resembled now.

“I was going to omit the insults because this shouldn’t be world war five hundred and fifty but after that comment, all womankind needs to be avenged.”
Giving him a wicked grin I put down my bottle, looking around like a towel would magically appear to dry my vodka drenched hands. “Shit was shit while you were gone. Like everyone and everything had lost it’s fucking mind because there was no Alpha to give them the ‘get out of that cookie jar’ glare.” I giggled brightly at my own impersonation of him. Michelle had thought it was pretty damn good when I had shown her. Fuck. Should have had the leather jacket and cigarette before I did it. Those items really made the performance. “Then you came back and when I saw you it was like….everything was better. I didn’t feel anything. Blissful relief. Just emptiness. Calm. Was fucking lovely.” Actually, it had freaked me the fuck out. Still had no idea why I had felt so fucking numb really. Didn’t matter. “Heres the bit from the cuntry of well…cunts. This insecurity bit is getting fucking old. Everyone fucking missed you. Even though they didn’t even know you were gone. Which you should be fucking thanking me for, though I know you won’t. Probably think that all the fuckery is my fault too huh? When it’s also partly yours. We’re both to blame.” Not as shitty as it sounded in my head. I was sharing the shitstorm when I by rights could level it all down on his shoulders. “Oh and don’t forget Apollo. He needs a wrist slapping too.” With a logging truck.

It was once again my turn to claim the word of ‘What?’ for my own. Though I didn’t say it out loud. A happy grin hit my face as he said we had been friends. Didn’t even really register that it was past tense and I should feel bad about that. The fact he had felt the same way meant the world to me. For two very different reasons. One nice and the other super nasty. “You told me why you came tonight. Not all the other nights. That’s what I don’t want to know. Truth or lie. I don’t want to know.” Really didn’t. Though now it was obvious dammit. “Wait…fuck..you came here because you liked me right?” Smiling again like a fucking idiot I glanced over at the hidden whiskey bottle. Friends gave friends stuff. But the whiskey might get murdered. Hmmmm. “We could be friends again.” I reached to the side to grasp the neck of the whiskey intending on handing it to him as a peace offering. A symbol of friendship. Better than a hallmark card it was booze. Was about to when he started laughing again. It wasn’t the laughter that got me, it was the dangerous grin on his face. Unable to formulate a response till well after it could be possibly seen as a knee-jerk reaction. In fact, I’d watched him fumble about in the bush until it actually left my mouth. “Don’t want to give me ideas do you? I don’t because then you’ll just spaz out into another dimension and then you’ll fuck this…” Producing the second bottle of whiskey I carefully placed it down. Nudging it softly toward him. “..instead of fucking me.” What the fuck Luxx. Shut up.

Putting both cigarettes into my mouth I took his lighter and straightened my shoulders. If I had both at the ready then chances were higher of getting one of them lit. If I could get the lighter going. Concentrating harder than I ever had on fucking anything before in my entire life I went crossed eyed attempting to hold the lighter in front of the sticks. At the right level, at the right angle and intact brain transmissions to thumb movement. I got this. Totally got this. The first attempt failed. Actually felt like I might have scratched some skin off my thumb onto the little wheel thingy. What the fuck was that even called? Second, go was also a fail. So dramatic I had to do a hand dance so that I didn’t drop the lighter completely. Using both hands for the third attempt I finally got a flame. Holding my breath without even realizing it, watching the fire bob and weave as I struggled to direct it to its destination. Puffing softly I almost choked getting the double nicotine hit from two clouds of smoke. Dropping the lighter I threw both arms up above my head in victory.

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