Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

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 [Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka - Page 5

[Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka

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Re: [Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:41 pm

Fingering the glass in my hand I blew upwards at my fringe. The bangs were out of control now, as was the rest of my wild curls. There was no time to stop by the hairdresser. While I’d found time to get my arm inked to cover up that awful fucking scar. Getting my hair cut was very low on my list of priorities. I knew the longer I left it the more angelic I started to look and that was going to always work to my benefit now. Everyone here already had enough fuel to stoke the fires of discontent towards me. Anything I could scramble to gather that turned those thoughts in the other direction, even if only for an instant, would help me in the long run. “I’m not” I mumbled barely audible. There was no way I was going to bring up anything in detail about what I had seen. I’d already told him I was kinder than he was in that respect. No way was I going to give him the fucking pleasure of watching me go back on my word.  “Fuck off. I’m a brilliant liar. I’ve had years of practice. I’d love to see you try to work out what’s a lie and what isn’t. You’d fry that pea brain of yours in the process” What the fuck was he even saying? If any of this bullshit, any of it was to go by. Then I was the fucking Queen of talking out my ass. “Just forget about the home shit alright? I gave up long ago. You could offer me a membership card right now and I’d tell you to shove it and that really isn't a lie” Only problem with that is once someone knew you were a manipulator, they expected that was the reason behind everything you said. Fucked myself, that’s what I’d done. Not only that, the Ancestors had made it harder to make him believe what was actually true. That as much as I wanted a home, I had no intentions of joining this new pack at all. Ever. Why the fuck would I? Clearly I was not welcome, not needed in the long run and he fucking hated me. Urgh, made me feel ill.

“Fight. I thought that was fucking obvious or were you too busy getting your ass kicked in that forest to recognise?” Wouldn’t even surprise me and really I couldn’t have given a shit. Not really. Putting me on the front lines wasn’t going to come from some acceptance of the fact I was better than all of them. It would be because he gave the least amount of fucks about my wellbeing. Which made me feel….great. It really did. I could handle myself.  “Sure me flipping my shit says that I’m not fighting….emotional bullshit very well right now, but you should be impressed with yourself that you managed to inspire me to change that fact. Fuck, I’m amazed myself.” Stunned in fact. Floored. “Maybe you should use that for something more useful, like inspiring your pack to come together. Fuck that is your job” Now that made me feel…odd. Having him admit that once upon a time he had actually offered me some level of trust. Shouldn’t have felt bad about it really, considering that’s what I had been trying to do at the time. Make him believe that I was his friend. What was fucked is that whenever I did it, and I’d done the same shit over and over, I just, left most of the asshole back at home. It wasn’t like I tried to be a different person, I wasn’t that good of an actress. “Good. Keep that in mind because I’m yours for a very short window. After that we both already know the future.”

The fact he was ripping apart the couches in search of my alarm was starting to bring some terror up in my throat. Shit I’d already gone off the deep end in front of him, didn’t really want to start looking like I was abnormally attached to my phone as well. I’d been doing a stellar job of making sure no-one noticed that I always seemed to be staring at it, taking it with me to the bathroom and never letting it out of my sight. Liquor was not my best buddy in that respect. I’d forgotten about it more often than not. Only being reminded of long past blood timers when I started to develop a fever. “I’m not disputing that fact. It's wishful thinking that the fighting is ever going to end Onyx, so I won’t hold my breath that you’ll be taking photos of your butt crack with my phone again….I still have that image too.” Sniggering I tried to hide the fact that I was very interested in whether or not my phone was going to fall out of the couch cushions. Booze did not come with skills in subtlety.

“Oh Fuck Onyx now that has got to be the most depressing shit I’ve ever heard.” There we go. So he was strong yes but not fucking bullet proof. That made me feel a whole lot better and not in the same very breath. “I never fucking betrayed you, you’re still alive aren’t you? Still have your heart intact. I left to make sure I didn’t bring even more trouble down on this pack but fucking hell, that doesn’t matter at all does it? because fuck the bed, I wasn’t around to squash a little vampire uprising….” I stopped. The glass leaving my hand as he took it. Ignoring the assumptions that I would ever try to kill him. Not like that anyway. Where was the benefit in that? “Me being here wouldn’t have changed shit you must know that…because my pack got fucked far worse than yours did, at least this one still has an Alpha.” He didn’t blame me for this did he? Jesus that made me feel weird. My stomach twisting in knots. “Actually, I quite like your company….shame…you…hate me…” The sentence dragged out with pauses and then totally drifted off as my ears tried to zero in on the sound of my phone. My eyes fully taking inventory of the room. Where the fuck had I put it? Brain work…work dammit. My eyes dropped briefly to the cushion near his feet. That’s right. One of these pillows had a hole in it. In my sleep my phone would keep sliding into the fucking thing. That’s where it was. But which one?

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Re: [Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Sat Mar 04, 2017 11:41 pm

Deep breaths, just breathe. Some good mental advice for a man that wouldn't listen, that never listened. Fuck good advice, I was pissed. Okay, fine, I take it back. I said, more than willing to eat my words in this instance. You're a brilliant fucking liar Luxx, it's exactly why I don't trust you're lyin' ass. And until I can read your deceitful fucking face like a book, that won't change. And don't think I won't learn how to either. If she could be a brilliant fucking liar, then you could bet your ass I was going to do anything I possibly could to ruin that twisted ass fucking joy for her and learn how to pluck the few ripe truths that hung on her rotten fucking tree.

Yeah fucking yeah. Whatever you say little wolf. Works out well doesn't it? If I offered, I'd deserve whatever rude ass fucking decline you'd give anyway. Maybe immediately, maybe not, but it'd come back to bite me, and we both know that ain't a lie. Her bark wasn't worse than her bite, and I had the experience to prove it. In fact, if it wasn't for her fucking bite, we wouldn't have a damn problem at all. It was genius really, really fucking creative ancestors we had, really. Sadism hadn't been more prevalent. Making me worry about snakes in my own ranks, and within my own apparent ''allies''. Why fight fucking fangers when we could just destroy one another?

I didn't get my fucking ass kicked. I'm still alive aren't I? Jesus fucking Christ, you don't know the first thing about a real ass kicking. Not everyone was ''as exceptional'' as Luxx. Not everyone was so mentally fucked up they could take what happened in the fucking cave from hell and toss it and move the fuck on in two seconds flat... All so they can take care of a nest of fangers. Some people needed, oh I don't know, a minute to take in some goddamned air.

I gave myself a pat on the back, a sarcastic attempt at celebration for my apparent accomplishment. I'll believe it when I see it. And frankly, I didn't do a goddamned thing. Any miraculous conclusions you came to you did all by your itty bitty self. Which... Is far more fucking impressive than anything else. Ironic laughter dug it's claws into the tail end of my statement and I shrugged my shoulders. The last thing I wanted was fucking credit where it wasn't due. Lies and pretending weren't going to suddenly make me nicey nice with the queen of deceit. It was fucking obvious, wasn't it? Believable, honorable truths were the only fucking thing that would warrant a percent less disdain in my tone and attitude. Not that I expected her to get it. I wouldn't expect that from someone that lived in a cocoon of self righteousness and misery. Especially one that they built themselves.

Any rage that was beginning to boil off came flooding back in, in one swift moment. Maybe you should learn your fucking place. I growled, staring her right in her fucking eyes from beneath my tense brows. When I have a full pack to speak of, I'll fucking inspire them when and how I feel is fucking right. Until I see your ass spending less time getting fucking wasted and boasting about one fucking battle, and actually helping prepare what few wolves we have left for battle, you can shove your preaching where the sun don't fucking shine. I exhaled loudly through my nose as I tore my eyes away. Fuck her, telling me how to inspire others. HER, telling me how to fucking deal with wolves? Jesus fucking Christ she was fucking mental. No, we don't know the future, actually. Not everyone takes whatever pile of shit is served to them on a silver platter by the Gods and shovels it in their mouth with a fucking smile. Some of us are determined to carve our own goddamned path.

It took a minute, I was too wrapped up in my own goddamned head to realize she'd just said something else off the wall. But this one wasn't infuriating, it was just fucking confusing. What? What the fuck? I don't know what the fuck that means... I never did that... Whatever... If you don't stop with this strange and fucked I don't know... Combination of acceptance and brooding? I'm gonna fucking explode. I will absolutely fucking explode. Shit, I had my moments, but I didn't fucking voice them. Even if I did they wouldn't sound like... whatever the fuck was coming out of her mouth. Jesus I couldn't explain it. The words sounded miserable but the tone didn't. It was fucked. Of all the things, this shit is what did my head in.

No, what you say is fucking depressing. What I say is fact. The difference between you and I, is I like it that way. I like being alone. And the beauty is, you can believe the words out of my fucking mouth. I've never meant anything more. I'll fucking scream it from the top of Mt. Index. It's not depressing, it's fucking... It's, Jesus it's fucking empowering. I crossed my arms and stood strong, as if, if I didn't, the ground would split in two beneath my feet. It matters, maybe. But in no way fucking describes loyalty. Betrayal doesn't just exist if someone fucking dies Luxx. It's not that fucking linear. Do you really fucking think like that or are you just trying to save what little fucking face you have left? That's like saying... ''Oh I left you in the burning building without even trying... But you're still alive aren't you? At least I didn't toss anymore grenades through the fucking window.'' That's fucking... Do you not get it at all? Was there even any point in trying to fucking explain? I mean for fucks sake, she was referring to our problem as a ''little vampire uprising''. There was absolutely no fucking point at all...

Oh fucking boohoo. The fact that you think because you lost an alpha makes your losses more fucked than ours is exactly why I'm not handing you a membership card. You don't, and never will see me, or my pack as equals. I could have kept going, but what came out of her mouth next sent my hand up to the bridge of my nose. My hand dropped and I groaned. It went on and on, transforming into a loud growl towards the end. I fucking hate everybody! Why the fuck is it some big fucking deal if you're bunched up with the rest of the fucking monkeys?! Why the fuck does it even matter? It's not like you're in a rush to hold my hand and go skipping through fields of fucking dandelions!

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Re: [Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:46 am

HAHAHAHAHA. Oh fuck this was funny. Liquor just tinted everything in a lighter shade. It could wash away everything replacing it with a blissful black hole of pulsing music and cold snow but even when I wasn’t drunk enough to get that beautiful effect, it still placed a shine on everything. Onyx actually thought he would be able to work me out. I snorted. Tried to cover the grin but failed. Wasn’t really trying hard enough. “Do you even read books? That scrappy journal from your piss-take of an ex-Pack Master doesn’t count either.” What a joke! When I didn’t know half the time what the fuck was going on with my head, how the hell could he expect to decipher it. Wasn’t like he could find a Luxx decoder ring in the bottom of a packet of cereal and miraculously begin to unravel all the bullshit wrapped in truth and visa versa. “I’ve thought about it and I don’t need your trust anyway. I suspect I’m more likely to sprout wings and a fucking halo before that will ever happen.” Yes. I could do what needed to be done without it. A conclusion I had come to only a few hours before. Nothing about my prophecy suggested I needed it. I didn’t want it anyway. That went against everything I always tried to do. There always had to be even just a sniff of something being off. The whole, fully trusting thing never worked for anyone. Don’t trust the Lone. Never trust the Lone. Lones are untrustworthy.

I was done talking about the pack bullshit. Got enough of that noise from Boom and Scarlet. At least Vilks was in my corner. He wasn’t going to join either. The two of us would fight. Me for my prophecy and for my love of all wolves and he…well, Vilks just liked to fight. Then we would step back into the shadows and be gone. Well, he would, I would be dead. Gathered up in the arms of the Ancestors.

Even if alcohol glazed every word and action with bubbles and confetti, rage was a fickle mistress. Laughing this time, but a hard mocking laughter I grasped my thick torrent of curls in my fists, my eyes wide with astonishment. “Are you?...are you fucking serious?” Was he referencing the whole being whipped thing? Being forced to drink blood? Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment to dispel the images, the sensations, the feelings associated I did manage to keep the smile on my lips. ”You’re alive because I did what I told you I was going to do. Protect you. Arrrggghh. Fuck it. Whatever.” My smile mutated into something that really was mocking him now. “You do actually know more than I do about getting your ass kicked. I’ve seen it.” Even though I wasn’t going to bring in details I couldn’t help myself but take the odd jab here and there. Payback was a bitch and so was I. Just not as big of a one as I could be. Was hard to say whether the scars on his back were actually from Odin or whether it was meant to be symbolic or some shit. Either way I couldn’t say that I’d been tortured quite like that before. Not even the Fangers had gone to the extent they had used silver on me. That’s the only way an Alpha could get marked permanently like that.

Avoiding yet another topic, which was my specialty I didn’t continued to entertain this idea that he had…inspired me. Had been said. Would never be uttered again. That was the hallmark of my fuckery. Truth came out in crumbs but then it was drowned in so much acid that they eventually forgot what had been said. Had to use that trick to navigate around the verbal slap he gave me too. Fuck him. Fuck him for being right. All I had been doing was drinking and dancing and fucking around. Oh but I was going to stop that shit right now. Was fucked that it was because of him too. Should have been me that had come to that conclusion on my own. Didn’t want to have to really truly thank him for fucking anything. “Yes, yes we do. Have you ever? Say, gotten a prophecy and then tried to go against it? Seen what happens? Because I have….so many fucking times.” It was why I was so hell-bent on this one. I’d been an avid spiritualist before but it was now from experiences that I knew that they were infallible. I’d been told to run. So I’d assumed I was meant to find my pack. My real pack. So I’d watched shit grow and die before my very fucking eyes, over and over again. When I’d gotten a new message from the other side last time I was here I didn’t take it seriously. Just focused on the beauty of not being told to leave once again. Leaving of my own accord had brought forth its own punishments. Ones I was probably still suffering. “It will happen.” I’ll make it happen. If he somehow tried to change it. Then all hell would break loose and I wasn’t going to have that on my head again.

“Once I find my phone, I’ll show you because fuck if there is one thing I fucking love. It’s bumming you out.” Couldn’t give a fuck actually but it gave me an excuse to begin looking for my phone and have it not look as if it was for another completely different reason. Getting down on my hands and knees I grabbed the nearest cushion and stuffed my hand into it, feeling around. “No-one likes being alone and you’ve never really experienced it.” He lied, so I replied with a lie, at least the second part was. That was the problem wasn’t it? We were both liars. I knew he had felt something of what I had. The difference was I had endured it for a lifetime and his had been balled up. Or had it? Had he always felt that way? Surrounded with people, with pack and still felt like he was completely alone. Telling himself that he was fine with it, just like I did. Closing my eyes for a moment my hand stuck in the cushion cover I swallowed back a wave of sorrow. Didn’t want him to feel like I did but he was handling it right? Right? Oh fuck I knew it was wrong.

Standing up with the cushion still attached to me I flung my arm out, causing it to detach and fly across the room. “YES! I get it! Fuck Onyx! I understand I’m not fucking stupid!” My eyes short-circuited, blazing yellow for a moment before fading out again. “I plotted against you, against your pack, I wanted something I know now is never going to happen. I’m never going to be an Alpha. Even though I’d be a better one than you, than any of the shit bags I have come across and you know why?...” I stalked up to him, my golden eyes blinking in and out again. “..because I do see every wolf as my equal. Pack doesn’t matter. Rank doesn't matter. What? You think just because I’m going to point out your flaws means I don’t?” Just because I spouted off about my strengths in comparison to his weaknesses didn’t mean that I didn’t see us standing on an even keel at the end of the day. How else were you going to improve yourself without others encouraging that very thing. My brand of the shit was just more brutal than the next wolfs.

“My loss, the other packs losses are greater than your packs and you should learn that. Their Alphas have been torn from them. Do you not remember how it felt to have Odin die? Like a piece of you died. We are all linked to the Pack Master whether we like it or not. They carry that pain and will find no absolution. Their packs have died….they have fucking died. The Dominion is no more, I am the last surviving member. Generations of history wiped out. The Pacific have been spared that.” How could he not put himself in their shoes? Displaced from their homes. Their ranked members enslaved or slaughtered. He spoke as if they were just tools to be used to his own revenge. Inspiring them when he felt it was right. Fuck him. They needed hope now. Made me fucking sick.

Grabbing another cushion I didn’t even start looking inside of it before rambling off another tirade of venom. “Yet another reason why right there, you hate everybody, well I fucking love them. Love them so much I make sure they hate me. Go find some fucking dandelions and I’ll gladly frolic in them with you Onyx. I can put up with this….” I gestured to his person with the cushion. For a spilt-second my drunken brain played a trick on me. I actually saw him without clothing on. What in the fuck? The image was gone quicker than it arrived but it had knocked me off balance anyway. “…you can lie, be a cunt, yell, scream, treat me like shit and I’ll still be here.”

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Re: [Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:47 am

I glared in confusion, even stumbling backwards as if her words packed half the punch her sassy fucking tone did. What the fuck? What the fuck does reading books have to do with anything?! I threw my hands up, my jaw even dropped as I directed my confused glare in her general vicinity. I was genuinely confused. Is that your psychotic way of calling me an idiot? Is that what that was? I asked, completely just fucking thrown. How... What... It's not even fucking relevant. Unless someone was crazy enough to offer you a book deal. You gotta autobiography titled ''how to be a fuckstick'' lyin' around somewhere? I mean, fuck!

I downed my drink and tossed the glass to the couch. She was... It was... Fuck the way she reacted made my skin crawl. What a fucking... Cunt fuck! A low growl persistently rumbled in my throat as I stormed into the kitchen to grab a bottle, anything, something. The glasses clanked against one another as I shuffled through, looking for anything with enough liquid inside to make me comatose. Fuck it. I mumbled as she rambled on, grabbing something by the neck and carrying it back into the living room without even looking. You do have my trust. Actually, now that I think about it. I twisted off the cap and tried to take a quick drink, sloshing liquid down the side of my face. I trust you're going to be a fucking thorn in my ass. I trust that no matter what, you will choose to argue with me because you care more about being fucking right about shit than proving truth to half of the lies you preach. Maybe I am a damned idiot. Go on, call me stupid, find new ways to verbally kick me in the nuts. You're probably right. I'd probably have a higher education reputation consorting and allying with a fanger... Your fucking misery will be carried with you everywhere you go, but no one said you had to spread it and share it with me. If one goddamned nice thing came out of your mouth, and I actually believed you were being genuine, I'd take off my decayed ass alpha crown and plop it on your head without hesitation. But that aint gonna happen is it? Because deep down, you want the rest of the world to feel just as dreadfully useless and broken as you do. I took another drink, this time tilting the bottle off to the side so I could keep my glare aimed in her direction.

The only thing you protect is your own ass. Once a lone always a lone, right? But fine, I'll play along. If you're my motherfucking guardian angel then where the shit is the good juju Luxx? My arms spread out as I gestured everywhere around me. You're one lazy goddamned guardian angel if you ask me. Keeping my pulse going is hardly your jurisdiction, but hey, my hearts still beating, so who gives a fuck if the rest of the world burns around me, right? So why don't I just do you a favor and relieve you of that duty. I'm more than capable of protecting myself, so you can take that hero act of yours and go use it on some other miserable unfortunate sap. I don't fucking need it. And more importantly, I don't want it. Another drink, each one getting larger than the last. And I actually felt like clapping for her. Perseverance was her middle fucking name. And that wasn't a damn compliment either. I suspect that's gonna change real soon Luxx. Keep up the shit, and we'll see what happens.

She took the cake. I disliked most people, that wasn't a lie. But she was the queen, had I felt an ounce of respect for her in that moment, I might have even given her a bow. I felt no sadness for her. She was so fucking awful, I didn't even feel sorry for her. And anything I had dished out, and would dish out, was fucking just as far as I was concerned. No, I haven't, actually. I admitted, all anger in my tone exhausted. It was probably the calmest response I'd ever given her. It's easy when your spiritual leaders refuse you prophecy. It's easy when you simply don't get prophecy. I glared at the floor, then at the bottle in my hand, bringing it up to my mouth but not taking a drink. I never liked the idea of spirits of people I didn't even know dictating what direction my life goes in anyway. I took a drink immediately after, this one smaller than the last.

My eyes closed tightly and a sound I couldn't even define came out of me. Have you... Have you always been this fucking stubborn?! I asked, taking a step towards her as I awaited an answer. If it happens, no fucking fucked shit vision is going to make it happen. If it happens, it's gonna be all me, it's gonna be all you. And if it happens any other way I will find a damn way to steal that gift of yours and reverse time so shit can happen on my terms. Fuck off with that shit. It made me feel physically sick. I refused to believe it. I fucking refused to believe every breath I took was carefully mapped out. Every fucking piss, every fucking feeling. Fuck that. She could be a puppet, a slave to whatever bullshit she believed would happen. I wasn't going to be like her.

You think it's fucking funny. You're gonna give me an aneurysm! You don't bum me out you make me wanna fuckin' kill shit! You make me goddamned murderous Luxx and it's not a damned joke! Pointless, pointless, pointless. The word kept repeating over and over and the only thing I could do was shove the opening of the bottle into my mouth and guzzle like it was water from the fucking fountain of youth. I shot her a million hateful glares as she began hunting through the sty that was my living room for her phone, wishing so desperately she could sense every single goddamned one. What the fuck ever. You're a walking, talking, fucking contradiction. I knew what I felt in that cave, I knew what I fucking saw. And I may not remember exactly, I may not care to store word for word, but I knew enough to remember the miserable ass conversations we'd had about her being a lone and what I'm trying to do, reform. And none of it fucking lined up. If being alone was such brutal misery, if she truly wanted to claim that title and tell me off for even insinuating I felt an inch of what she felt, as far as I was concerned, she would have been on her fucking knees begging for me to claim her into Reprisal.

I watched the cushion fly across the room, completely defeated. This fucking place wasn't gonna survive the both of us living here anyway. As much as she liked to point out, I wasn't a damned idiot. What the fuck did it matter if my place was destroyed sooner rather than later? Wah. Life's a fucking bitch Luxx. As much as you piss me off, as much as I would get... Serious... Euphoric... Mental joy out of throwing my fist in the general direction of your face, frankly, whining is even beneath you. And I say this, with the utmost disgust, I feel physically fucking sick now... Actually... The tail end of what I'd said came out as a mumble, and I tried to remedy the situation with another fatty swig. Yes, more alcohol. It was helping. It was actually fucking helping and if it kept going this way, I might even get on my knees and praise the almighty sadistic ancestors for letting me catch a damned break. Fine, fucking fine. ''You see every wolf is equal and other warm fuzzy bullshit.'' Maybe if you want me to believe that shit, you should act like it. And I'm not talking about the fucking extreme either. I'm not talking about rainbow kisses and plastic smiles. There is a mother shitting middle ground. Another drink, this one chased down with another. And one more for good luck.

It was working. Or at least it had been. Until she opened her mouth again. Fuck you! I spit what little drink I had in my mouth in her general direction, refusing to swallow before getting my two cents in. Before getting my truth in. You have some fucking nerve little lone, implying the death of a pack master means your loss, their loss is greater than our own! It's my job, it's our job to fucking die! Losing one to an enemy is worse, I'm not a goddamned idiot, it is far fucking worse than losing one to the decade, but that doesn't change the fact that it is our job to protect, at all fucking costs. If that means giving up our fucking life so a few of our family can live then that's our goddamned duty! I may personally dislike, or even hate some of my own wolves, and you can bet your fucking ass I have my reasons for that, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't happily tie the noose around my own neck if it meant one of them could be spared. Misery isn't a game, warlord, it's not a fucking competition to be won. I can put up with the name calling, I can put up with the bullshit, the infuriating comments and snarky tone. I can put up with and even fucking tolerate it all, but I won't sit by and let you shake off the loss of brothers and sisters because you lost rank, because you lost your fucking alpha! You may have said a lot of fucked shit to me in the past, but this is one insult that harms more than just me. I don't know what dysfunctional fucked pack you come from, but if you're so hell bent on schooling me, on telling me what I need to do, you can pat yourself on your back, because the first thing I'm going to do is protect my grieving pack from your poison. You are not gonna dig that knife of yours in and twist into our open wounds. Not in my fucking town, not around my fucking pack. So sit the fuck down, shut off those fucking eyes, and shut the fuck up. Or I'll guaran-fucking-tee whatever it is you're searching for, whatever fucked truth you have hidden behind the shitty attitude and pool of lies, will never be found. My breathing was heavy, fangs and claws somehow emerged.

Silence fell for a moment, and I took in one last deep breath of air, then took yet another drink. When I opened my mouth again, my volume was back to normal. Their loss, every wolf without an alpha, every wolf that lost someone in this fucked vampire hell has lost Luxx. And I'm not going to fight with you about this shit anymore. I'm not gonna try to win, because unlike you, I can see the bigger picture. I can see that none of us have won, not yet. And as far as most are concerned, even if the ancestors shower us in fucking confetti, and we get revenge on the blood sucking fucks that caused this and save those they've enslaved, we still won't have won. I don't need to be schooled, I can fucking see, my eyes work, my soul is still in fucking tact unlike yours. I feel it. I don't just fucking see. I fucking feel it.

I looked at her as I slumped into my chair, feeling absolutely exhausted despite barely having moved. Does it look like I'm going anywhere? I asked, setting the bottle onto the table before pulling myself up again. I stood for a moment, catching my balance before rubbing my eyes. My feet carried me to the ladder that lead to my room, and I propped one foot on before turning. For the record. I may not know the first thing about being a lone. I may not know what that's like. But I do know what it's like to be alone. You just showed me. With that out, I made my way up to get dressed in real clothes.

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Re: [Private] Snowball Bumblebee Bazooka

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:39 am

I didn’t move.

I couldn’t.

I stood there and took everything and each and every word eliminated any scrap of control the alcohol had over my entire body. Completely sobered. Completely. Onyx had never said as much as he had right now to me. Ever. All of it made me realize something. Why the ancestors had given me what seemed like a shitty task. Be Open, Be Kind, Protect the Pack Master.

I was being told that how I treated wolves was disgusting.

That was how I felt. Standing there and listening to him defend himself against my snide comments. Always pretending that I knew anything about the wolf I was speaking to. Grabbing hold of any shred of shit and blowing it out of proportion so I could use it as ammunition. Them being angry at me felt right. They needed to hate me because I didn’t want them to become me. Making them hate me was my way of showing them that being a Lone was the worst thing imaginable. By literally making myself into a walking and talking shitstorm. The ancestors had never told me to do what I did. It was out of love that I did it. They were telling me, through Onyx, that I was fucking shit up, like I always did. Oh god.

A desperation filled me as I realized I wasn’t fulfilling my prophecy at all. My half-arsed attempts were just that and if anything was important, it was that. He could shit on my belief that they knew what was best for me all he liked because I knew it was all I had. Make them see that I was redeemable. So when I died I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Practically running to the bathroom, I rummaged through my makeup bag pulling out a vial of blood. I’d only just recently drunk one but I didn’t know what else to do. My insides felt like they were dying and I only knew one way to get rid of that feeling. Liquor wasn’t going to be fast enough. I had to rely on the blood. Drinking back the entire vial I brushed my teeth afterward to cover up the scent.

A rush of fury leaked into my bloodstream but instead of using it for what I normally did, this time, this time I really understood what I was meant to do. Storming back out into the living area I fumbled through my belongings pulling out a folded piece of paper. I’d been holding onto it. I’d written it as a terrible joke that I’d intended on weaving into some asshole of a scene but now…now it was real. Literally tearing into the cushions I found my phone. I scaled the ladder I had never climbed before and launched myself into him. Shoving him down onto his own bed. Even though he would normally have the strength to throw me off, the fanger juice infused my limbs with a power that was not my own.

“You want to hear genuine? Then you need to open your ears and listen.” I gripped his shirt with fingers that threatened to extend into claws. Eyes glowing to the point I felt like they would burn up and melt inside my very head. My voice was a dulled into a quiet serious tone that I barely ever used. Always hiding behind a smug smirk, cocking grin or a sneer of disgust. “I never want to make you feel like you are alone. Never. Do you hear me? I try to drag you down because I need you to hate me. You can’t, nor can any other wolf think that being a Lone is something you have the strength to do. I thought I was strong enough and I was wrong. We belong in packs for a reason because we need to have something to fight for. I have nothing, have never had anything and it has destroyed me. I want more for you, for every other wolf. I don’t even mean or believe half the things I say it’s all just to make you look at me and despise my very existence. I’ve done a really fucking amazing job with you. But you’ve just shown me that what I’m doing goes against everything I know to be my one redemption from the horrific things I’ve done in an attempt to make my loneliness go away. It’s that bad Onyx. What you feel, is only a sliver of something I never want you to feel. This isn’t a game of who is more miserable. We both know it’s me and I’ve been selfish in an attempt to make it go away. I regret it all with every fiber of my being but that doesn’t fix what I have done. Fuck if it was remotely possible to wipe the slate clean and join your pack I would. Yeah, fuck it, I would.” That was so hard to admit aloud. It just reeked of truth because it came out in a way that sounded strangled. I didn’t really want to say it but it was true.

“What you just said. Was the most passion I have ever felt from any Alpha ever and trust me I’ve heard some grandiose bullshit from many. None have really understood what it is to be a Pack Master. A burden of great importance something that isn’t a gift but a weight upon your shoulders. But you are not alone, we are all here with you.” I let go of one of his upper arms and held up the paper in front of his face. It was signed in blood.

I Lilith Caroline Alysbury known by my pack name Luxx hereby legally sign into a contract with Vincent Sawyer Byrne known by pack name Onyx. As a Lone I am subject to no pack based exceptions so in exchange for safe passage and to pay dues to all packs who have suffered from my devious intentions I accept certain responsibilities. While residing in Index I must offer to train any and all wolves in battle tactics. I will fight as Warlord in any and all encounters with Vampires, the Supremacy or any other body who declares war on Wolves. I will continue to work for One Shot for the foreseeable future without salary. Vincent Sawyer Byrne will have complete dominion over my involvement, I will report directly to him and my number one concern is his safety. Upon completion of this contract I will leave the region. If I step out of line I accept execution at the hands of the Alpha.

“It may mean nothing to your pack, but contracts like this one are binding in mine. It seems while you understand the burden of a Pack Master you never learned what it is to be a Warlord. It’s my job to make sure that you don’t die and I have spent a lifetime keeping myself alive. There is nothing I can do better. Understand that I will protect you, you are not alone in this” I was suddenly very aware of the fact I was laying on top of him. My body flushing with the heat that radiated from his. Swallowing hard I sat back, though I couldn’t for the life of me unstradle his hips. How the fuck I was thinking about sex in a time like this I had no idea. Vampire blood. That was it. 

“Even if that means I will lose the only person who has ever properly loved me.” I held up an image on my phone. Of a woman. Injured. Bound. Laying on the floor of a cell. A collar about her neck. I was taking a leap of faith. A massive one. The Ancestors wanted me to bare my soul then that’s what I was doing. “I’m working for the Supremacy. If I go against their plans, which is what I intend to do by fighting with you. Then I lose the only person who loves me. Sona. My spiritual Leader… Mother.”

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