Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

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 [Closed] Soul searching

[Closed] Soul searching

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Claire Trevino

[Closed] Soul searching

Claire Trevino | Human; Citizen

Posted on Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:16 pm

Thread Details
The Mad Platter | Cold, wet but no longer raining | Noonish

It wasn’t hard to find her, especially since I did remember a little bit about her from when we had a class or two together. Which was incredibly awkward, and knowing what I know now I didn’t know if it would make it more or less awkward to see her. If Shane was telling the truth, which, I didn’t trust the man further than I could throw an anchor but inside I felt like he was. Inside of my head and my heart something clicked and it made sense, as much as any of this could. I’d put off seeing Michelle for as long as I could, but now as much as I dreaded it I needed to. I needed to apologize. But what I hadn’t decided was whether or not I’d tell her. How would I? Hey, by the way, I’m kind of your mom. Maybe it was how mothers felt when someone else got an organ from their dead kid. Like I was forever reminding myself, there were no precedents for something like this.

I stopped across the street from the storefront of The Mad Platter, still feeling and understanding a bit of why I was upset with her. She might not have meant to, but in a sense she had my life. She came into what I had worked for. But that’s what parents did, isn’t it? They worked hard so that their kids could have a better life. This was just… different. Before finally getting the nerve to cross the street I looked into the store, trying to spot her. If I remembered correctly it wouldn’t be hard, she usually had some crazy neon hair. Maybe she grew out of that phase. What was this? Being able to go from angry to sad that I didn’t know anything about her. I swallowed hard and quickly crossed the street, barely dodging a pothole filled with rainwater from this morning. Hands in my pockets I pushed the door open with the outside of my arm, basically not stopping myself until I was inside and past the point of no return.

It was a man behind the counter. Did she still work here? Was I wrong? I thought Karen said she actually owned the place now. ”Can I help you?” he asked; it seemed he quickly picked up on my confusion. I um… Is Michelle working today? ”Oh, yeah, hold on, she’s in the back. I’ll grab her.”

I swiped my mind to the other task for today. I’d chosen today to knock out a couple of masochistic tasks and as usual the Washington weather provided me with the dreary weather that was perfect for this painful brand of soul searching. Hands still in my pockets, I looked around the store, from the wall of guitars, to the two large brass instruments… oh, come on, you know what these are! Uh, idiot! Euphonium! Two euphoniums hanging from the ceiling. Where were the woodwinds? One of the strongest memories I had involved a clarinet. Finally, I caught gold, but the gold of a saxophone and I followed that area and headed down an aisle and saw the clarinets. I didn’t need an expensive one, and I’d be grateful if I could find one used. I just… I needed to try. Would that make him happier around me? Would it bring back a part of me? Could I be both?

”Hey what can I he- oh.”
I turned around, a weak smile on my face. Black hair, gray sweater, black jeans. And actually, the most normal I’d seen her look. The most grown up. Did I feel proud? I had no idea. But less angry? Yes. Not that I knew why.

I don’t mean to bother you I just -

”Shane told you, didn’t he?”

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Claire Trevino

Re: [Closed] Soul searching

Claire Trevino | Human; Citizen

Posted on Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:24 pm

I just wanted to say sorry. We sat on a bench in front of the store which luckily had been dried. The sun was shining but like it usually was this time of year, it was deceiving.
”It’s okay. Don’t expect me to call you mom. That’s just…. That’s just fucked.”
Her voice did nothing to jog my own memory, and I didn’t know if it had more to do with my lack of memory or the fact that your voice never sounded to yourself how it did to everyone else. I was grateful, either way.
Don’t worry, this is um.. This is really weird for me too. I took a deep breath. I don’t want anything from you, I’m not here to ask anything of you. I just wanted to tell you sorry, and that… well this situation is lonely for me, and I thought it might be for you, too. There’s nothing out there telling us how we’re supposed to feel about this.
She wasn’t comfortable looking at me, which I could understand. I couldn’t keep my eyes on her, either.
”I’ve just tried to ignore it.” It should have hurt, but again, wasn’t that exactly what I had done?
”But um.. thanks.”
I handed her a piece of paper with my number. I had actually prepared it before even leaving the house. If you need me. I don’t care what you do with it, but I’d feel better knowing you have it. I paused for a bit, feeling like she was even less comfortable than I was. Now, do you want to sell me that clarinet?

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