[Private] Howdy Neighbor

What if I don't want a pass? The last thing I needed with this man was playful banter, because rarely was it ever innocent. The grin stayed, but I continued, But you're right. If you're gonna dish it out, you have to take it, too. Finally after my little sulk. I took a seat, staring up at him. I mean, we were just friends, but gods be damned I was gonna enjoy the view. This is why I wanted to check on him, but avoid. I knew I had absolutely no self control, and it was worse with him. As fun as it was, I knew he would bring out that side of me that I was trying to keep away. The side that practically had me wanting to walk into fire. The side that hoped if something happened between us again, I could push him just a little bit further. And I meant that in a morbid way, and I didn't wish the results of that on him. I didn't wish the guilt of the implications of that on him.

Nah, Hawke or.. something else will do. Braveheart did nothing for me, I could get at least a little kick when he called me Hawke. Fuck me, I was askin' for it. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, now that I'm here I wanna see if I've got like, a window into your bathroom or some shit. I mean, I shrugged, I am human. I don't know who I was trying to convince of that, him or me.

A little bit of both? Dude, really those band kids keep me afloat. Upkeep on that shit, though. Clarinet reeds, music stands, shit like that. And then, yeah, cheap guitars for kids taking guitar lessons. A little bit of everything, really. My eyes narrowed, not really understanding what he was getting at, and not sure if I could ask, but apparently I lived to tempt fate. Reasons? Oh, oh, I get ya. Why was it I felt so privileged to know that side of him? Sheeiit, is Betty your landlord? You wouldn't even need that; I bet her panties dropped the minute you walked in the door. I liked her, sorta, even though she smelled of those really stanky cigs, and her skin was leather and her teased hair was peroxide blonde. I wasn't a fashion guru like Caly, but God, I wanted to give her a makeover and some lotion. And put a lock on that tanning bed of hers.

Food? I don't think you want me cooking, but uh.. I could go get tacos or... Immediately I stood up, my eyes wide open and a grin stretched across my face. DUDE! I should get us tacos!

She wasn't a Hawke, she wasn't a raven, she was a damn phoenix. 'Trouble was, I didn't learn from the first burn. This time she was fanning the flames, I just couldn't tell if she wanted to watch them burn, or jump right into the coals. If it was the latter, admittedly, I couldn't think of a better housewarming gift. I'm gonna give it to you anyway. I don't think you could take it.

The mysteries of this particular human woman were in ample supply. She had a unique gift, one I couldn't seem to find in anyone else, one that impressed me more than any gift the ancestors could give. She made me feel powerful, and in her presence, being a wolf wasn't a death sentence, it was life, in every sense of the word. I wouldn't have gone as far to say she gave me a reason to live, but fuck me if she didn't make it easier.

See that's just not fair. I laughed, You saying that... Let's just put it this way, if I said that, I'd be painted as the creep that wants to watch women in the bathroom. Yeah she didn't mean it that way, but I still felt a cocky upturn of the corners of my mouth form at the thought of her wanting to watch me shower, even if she didn't.

Well shit, it's good hear you're doing well. It's been uh... How long since we talked? I guess I didn't even realize how much shit has changed. Really, where the fuck did the time go? I guess when your life was a never ending void of shit, time had a way of standing still, which made it that much easier for it to slip away from you.

Maybe her panties aren't the ones I want to drop. I didn't let it hang in the air for too long, But yeah, she is. I wouldn't want to give her the wrong impression anyway. Accepting charity, and scamming it yourself were two different things. Especially when charity would most likely involve implications that I wanted nothing to do with it. The woman was nice enough, but I had no interest in seeing anymore of her fake tan than I needed to.

I could go for some tacos? Or... I have a guy coming by, I could give his ass a call and convince him to make a stop? You wanna chill or... You busy? There were about six boxes in the back of my truck, Logan's shit. I didn't want it, I didn't wanna look at it. Debo was more family to him than I ever was anyway, it made sense to pass his belongings off to someone that wanted them. I couldn't bring myself to drop 'em off at goodwill anyway.

I cocked my head to the side but with a smirk, Thought I proved I could. Okay, so, that was debatable, and I’ll leave it at that. I even started to chew on my bottom lip but I instantly stopped myself. No, I couldn’t go there again as much as I wanted to I couldn’t let myself get my panties in a twist every time I saw this fucker. I mean, I could prove it to you again, but I’ve been working pretty hard today and I demand sustenance first. I mean fuck, I wasn’t complaining but I didn’t want to sound desperate. I was already letting every conversation, be it about zombies or monks, lead to sexual innuendo. Today, I’d test my own self and see if I could chill with Joe and keep my clothes on.


Not to me, though. Of course, in my opinion the double standard isn’t from dudes to chicks. My eyes darted to the sidewalk, looking for any passers by to make an example. Alright, like, see that guy. He’s bald, has some chub, so yeah, he’s being a creep. And see her? She’s like, epitome of soccer mom with a terribad haircut. So creeping would make her desperate. But if you’re attractive, it makes you uh… devilish, intense, or some shit like that. God, it was right though, at least for me. Like, obviously if Chris Pine was watching me shower… on purpose I should specify, then fucking let him. Michael Moore? Someone call the fucking cops. Obviously, Vincent was right there with Chris Pine.


It has and it hasn’t. Like an episode of an old sitcom. At the end of the show, everything always went back to the way it started. When it came to drama, I’d come to realize that was now part of my critique. Comedy? Sure, they could have that, but I wasn’t much of a fan of freak of the week drama. The stakes had to be high, shit had to get fucked for real. You? I mean, I uh.. I went to One Shot a time or two. Kinda sad I didn’t see you. God, now I sounded like a fucking stalker. Spying on him in the bathroom and now actively searching.


Oh, what, the wolf isn’t into cougars? I could barely finish my own statement for laughing, but actually cringing inside at the thought. I was sorry I’d put that image out there. And, I wasn’t ignoring his first comment, I mean, not accidentally anyway. I was going to attempt to be a fucking good girl for once. I simply winked, keeping the grin that seemed to stay when talking to him.


Dude, tacos without having to put in the effort of making them or even going to get them, of course I’m game. Rarely was I busy. Maybe inventory time, or Christmas shopping season. Yeah, I kind of dreaded that and had been debating hiring more people. But I was not about to think about business right now. Just busy hanging out with my new weird-ass neighbor, I said before a quick smirk and a very brief wriggle of my brows. So, what do you have in mind? Like, I don’t have shit hooked up yet. No TV, no games. I mean unless you count cards against humanity.

I'd come to one conclusion a long time ago. One I couldn't even admit to myself more than once. It made so much fucking sense, and explained why Michelle was like a good trip on acid. Funny, after spending some time with Luxx I'd come to the conclusion that she was a bad trip on acid, and the reasons for both were eerily similar. It was something I didn't want to even think about because of that connection. I didn't want to taint one of the few good times in my life with a connection to something so fucking terrible.

It was easy to move past shitty thoughts when your hot neighbor had basically just admitted she wanted to fuck you again. Or maybe that wasn't what she meant, I didn't know, but I was going to take it that way anyway. Whatever you say amigo... I said, clearly unconvinced. Maybe I should have been offended, that she was using such a shitty excuse to avoid ''proving it to me''. Maybe I should have read even more into it and assumed she'd just made plans to eat and then ''prove it to me''. Maybe I didn't really give a fuck which one she meant and I was just content with the word play because admittedly, I was exhausted from moving too and I wanted some grub.

Oh? Enlighten me. I crossed my arms, listening intently and trying not to laugh as she pointed out people on the street. Her descriptions, funnily enough, matching my thoughts perfectly. Did you just call me attractive? I pointed out, feeling somehow less fucked for wanting to know if that imaginary window into my bathroom worked both ways. You've made a point, actually. It was kinda fucked with maybe a dash of shallow. But I'm kinda fucked, apparently dashing, and a little shallow too; So it was made in good company. It was almost genius, in a twisted Michelle kind of way. Though I'd love to throw a wrench into your logic, because I am fucked, and ask you how that explanation works if the creeper doesn't look like a creeper? Bundy? Or do serial killers and psycho's automatically get their names listed in the creeper column? A good question, but a better question would have been to ask her... Was she inviting me to watch her shower?

Yeah... Not a topic I wanted to talk about with her, which was ironic, because she was probably one of the few I felt was okay to talk about it with. Without the whole... Guilt and fear thing. But I had no interest in having those conversations with her. She was cool and all, but I had a feeling our friendship hadn't evolved much beyond ''the cool chick next door'' and ''that I happen to want to fuck'' stage yet. Some shit happened... It's uh... I shrugged my shoulders, instantly feeling fucked for trying to put a casual spin on the fact that my pack was gone. More of a 'Let's have this conversation after we're well passed buzzed' kinda thing. When I wouldn't have to feel shit for dumping a pile of garbage in front of her.

The wolf likes winged things better. I smirked confidently, then pulled out my phone to compose a shitty text that just said ''tacos'', which took me about forty-five fucking minutes to punch out. And about one second later, I got a response that read quite simply ''already there dude'' with a picture of the taco bell drive thru.

Food on the way, and I dunno... I've got music hooked up, that's about it. You're mistaking 'weird' with 'fucking awesome' though. Just throwin' that out there. Fucking lame, the fact that a simple flashed raise of her eyebrows could be hot as fuck. Is it too early to drink? I mean for you, for me it's never too early. I got booze unpacked. Booze... Tacos... And whatever that thing is you mentioned. Sounds like a party to me. Question is... Your place or mine?

All I could do was shake my head with a snarky grin. God, I was going to be neighbors with this guy, and the way this convo was going had me thinking maybe I should get my fucking tubes tied. A hella lay just a door down? I wasn't sure that's what I wanted, though. It was great, but my plan to keep it a one time thing wasn't without reason. I didn't want shit to get weird, not that it was. But the more shit went down, the more it was going to feel well... less interesting and more like a relationship which would wreck it all to hell. Yeah, I loved the idea of TiVo for real life situations. Concerts, fucks, hell, even a good meal. Wouldn't that be fucking sweet? Now that he was here, I had to just not worry about it. If we were able to just chill, fucking awesome, if we fucked, well, I mean it wasn't a loss.

Well, I guess I did, since I don't just let any creep watch me shower. My head shook a little as I looked down at my feet. I doubt we'd get along so well if I wasn't a little fucked. And everyone who isn't a bit shallow is a goddamn liar. I lifted my head with a grin and a shrug. Wait, wait, we're talking about watching showers here, not blowing up buildings. And I hardly find Ted Bundy attractive. Was he missing the point? It wasn't just about whether or not you looked like a creeper. I guess basically it was about mutual attraction. Or, I mean basically permission.

Wait, hold the phone. I'd expected some answer akin to typical excuses. Been busy, working overtime, don't like the place as much, shit like that. This answer was mysterious. And since Vincent wasn't a fucking high school drama queen, I figured the shit that happened was more than some bullshit argument. Shit, why couldn't he just give me some bullshit answer instead of making me curious? Especially when he didn't want to talk about it? But I wasn't an asshole, and while I could admit to being nosey, I usually kept that shit under control. Well, fuck we can just get buzzed without talking about it. I mean, unless it's some shit you're just dying to get off your chest. But, wither way, alcohol is in order.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, but grinned like a motherfucker the whole time. Goddammit, Byrne, stahp with the flattery. You already got in my pants once. The end of the statement kind of trailed off, though, as I watched the poor guy struggle to get one word. You uh, you do know how to use that thing, right? And fuck, I totally had to keep myself from reverting to a "that's what she said" joke. I didn't give a fuck, that shit was still funny to me.

Awesome, but so, you need to clarify. One minute you're... fucked, but you're not weird? I mean it doesn't matter, obviously I'm into weird. For fucks' sake we had a discussion on zombies and oral. We're both beyond weird and fucked. I had a brief moment where my face looked, I don't know, thoughtful, then I waltzed over to his stereo and turned up the volume. I don't have any furniture out yet, I said, not really yelling but raising my voice over the music, So, that's gonna be a your place. And like the lame-ass I was, I started playing air guitar, only, I was mostly trying to be accurate with it.