setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
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 [Closed] FIsheye Lens - Page 3

[Closed] FIsheye Lens

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Re: [Closed] FIsheye Lens

Logan Milo Byrne | Human; Citizen

Posted on Thu Nov 03, 2016 8:53 am

I don't know about credentials... But I can say I'll make you break a sweat, you'll definitely get a workout, and I'm one-hundred-percent certain you'll be sore after each session. Too much? Fuck if she took it another way that was her deal, I knew how I meant it, and now I was just going to read her reaction and go from there. I felt stupid, actually, because what she said next shouldn't have amused me. You're a rhyming genius, Claire. My mind went straight to music, and the fact that any synchronization between the two of us conversationally would remain in conversation, never anything more, never anything musically. And yeah... It was kind of disappointing.

That sounds to me like passion, which is akin to reckless abandon. Maybe a part of you just comes out when you're in the drivers seat. A part of you that you can't even control, a part of you that can't come out unless you're doing this one specific thing. You like it because it's rare, and it's unfamiliar and dangerous as a result of it's rarity. Or am I wrong? It was how I interpreted it anyway. It was the way I would have described my relationship with music, and creating it. I wasn't going to pretend I was unique, passion for things was explained more or less the same, even if those things were different from person to person.

And what happened then, well in Claire's garage they say, my ego grew three sizes that day. Once for big, twice for the strong, and thrice for tough, I'd known it all along, she wanted my bod, and she wanted my dong. I can whimper for you if you want? Was that a sound she wanted me to make? I could probably work one out, with her help of course. Really? My tone instantly shifted, she had my attention completely. Don't make promises you can't keep now, I really wanna do this. Both, actually. I'll even let you teach me the ropes if you promise to keep that on the down low. Can't have people knowing I'm a newb if I wanna maintain a ''badass'' image among the community.

I gripped my beer, already imagining racing her down a track, several times. Putting her in her element, and being a part of it too? I wasn't a fool, I knew that was a brilliant in, and I wanted to take it. Waiting. I spoke before taking another drink. Color me impressed, but... I started, narrowing my eyes on her. She'd one upped me, and I could admit I didn't change the oil on unfamiliar cars very often. I'd done mine plenty of times, but there were minor differences between different cars. I wasn't an expert by any means. Which was the main reason why I'd followed my ''but'' by sliding under the car with her, cramping her style of course.

I turned my head to look at her, maybe too close for comfort? I padded the awkward with a brief flash of a cheesy grin before returning my expression back to neutral. I'm just here to observe.

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Claire Trevino
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Re: [Closed] FIsheye Lens

Claire Trevino | Human; Citizen

Posted on Tue Nov 15, 2016 1:22 am

That was definitely a come on, there was absolutely no doubt. I hated the practical side of me, the side tempted to break down and stop everything and ask him. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew his character, but I wanted to stop him right there and be honest and ask, “Logan, tell me, what do you want from me? Just tell me! Maybe it’s exactly what I want, too.” But for one thing, I had no idea what I wanted from him. I had thoughts, oh, I was starting to get many thoughts. But I knew myself, and I was pretty sure I would want a relationship. And while, well, I knew… I just knew too much about him now, I remembered some things, and, I doubted that’s what he wanted. Sure, I would play along for a while, pretend I was fine with not being more, but it would be a lie. And maybe it would work out the other way. Maybe he’d sacrifice who he was for me, but he wouldn’t be happy, and I couldn’t expect him to… well I couldn’t expect him to be loyal.

And while I’d call these moments, these thoughts in my mind “inner turmoil,” was this not the most exciting part? The questions, the looks, the curiosity and the doubt. All of it - confusing, frustrating, but it sure got my heart pumping. Maybe I didn’t want that to stop. So, what did I do? I bit a tiny piece of my bottom lip and grinned at him, head shaking. Logan Byrne, you’re awful. Obviously, my now wide open smile betrayed my words.

You’re not, I said, and the memory came back to me when I’d first took Arya out for a test spin. It should have freaked me out, it should have had my heart racing for the fact that I could have killed myself, not for the fact that it felt more right than anything in my messed up life had ever felt. The track, as much as it got me close to that kind of feeling, wasn’t the same. But that’s what I reached for every time I floored the gas pedal. When I won, it was just a bonus, and that was only because I loved seeing how hurt the men were when I stepped out of the car.
I grabbed the gingerale, which I’d all but forgotten about, taking a sip, then wiping my lips with the back of my hand. (If only I could be cool enough for that to be beer, instead, right? But no, I tried, many times, and it was disgusting.) In the scenario you’re thinking of, I’d really rather you not whimper. Crap. Didn’t mean to let that one spill out, but how could I be blamed for thinking of him that way when it was all he was talking about?

The gingerale back on one of the shelves beside a drill set that was covered in almost an inch of dust, I was now under the car when I felt him beside me, and turning back to look I realized his goofy face was right there. I pursed my lips, but I was still unable to hide my grin. I was running out of excuses to be strong, especially in a moment like this. Isn’t this the way it happens in all the movies but never in real life?
Instead, as much as I felt like my heart was going to thump out of my chest, I turned my head away and began screwing the oil cap back on, wiping it clean with the rag and using the wrench to get it tighter. Enjoying the show? I asked as I took the cleaner end of the cloth and wrapped it around my hand to unscrew the oil filter. But once my hand was on the filter my head rolled slightly over toward him, a small relaxed grin on my face. Apparently, I could at least kind of play it cool. I threw the old filter to the other side, letting it roll away from the car, screwed the new one in, but I took my time, now not taking my eyes off of it. The thoughts in my head were both talking me into and out of what I was thinking about what I might do next - which didn’t involve getting out from underneath the car just yet.

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Re: [Closed] FIsheye Lens

Logan Milo Byrne | Human; Citizen

Posted on Sat Nov 19, 2016 11:22 am

I had random moments, when mentally I'd be transported back to my time in that cabin in the woods. Yeah... Maybe I had moments when I felt like Firestorm. The only difference was I couldn't fly and the wise voice in my head wasn't the voice of a brilliant man guiding me to battle bad guys, but rather the voice of a man that had lost his mind, guiding me through his mental circus of nut-jobbery. I'd had a lot of time to think in that cabin though. Mostly to a few years ago. I pinpointed every bad thing that had happened not just to me, but to others, things I'd witnessed in the time leading up to now. Every single big bad thing that happened was to the fault of those more powerful. Eva, Claire, Michelle, my own cousin, me. And here I was, standing in the garage with another victim wondering how things got so messed up. Because no, I couldn't just look at Claire and see another lay, not like I normally would have had things gone differently. And I was almost angry about it.

I guess it was my default. Even knowing it was probably best if the two of us went our separate ways, I pushed through, some part of me wanting to keep hold of the old version of myself in hopes that everything else would fade away and I could get back to normal. So when conversation fell silent, and my opportunity to flirt slipped through my fingers, I went straight to the visual. Desperately trying to read her reaction to see if body language was speaking louder than her voice was currently. My name is Claire. As confusing as it was, that was the problem. Reading Claire was no easier than reading a stranger on the street. I didn't know Claire. I mean... She wasn't even physically my type. I knew for a fact I didn't actually seek out women with her style. So what was she to me? What was this... Thing we had? Why did I have this innate desire to keep her safe, to keep her happy? Why did I want her? I wanted to claim her but never completely take her. Fucking hell... I wanted Claire on layaway?! Even I could see how fucked up that was. I really am... And this was one of those times, when I agreed that I was awful, not because of some flirty conversation, but because of my own sudden personal revelation.

It wasn't a lie. I did join her to observe, just not the car. In fact, my eyes were on her the entire time. Yeah, I am. I guess I had a choice to make. A part of me felt if I could just bed her already, maybe the rest of the complicated shit would fade away. My curiosity sated after one night in the sheets? Wasn't that how it usually went? Or was this just me, once again trying to cling to the person I was before life got so messy? I wanted to punch myself, since when did I become such a... woman? Overthinking shit and trying to figure out my feelings. Maybe there was just some leftover Jude in my system. Yeah, that had to be it.

I turned my head to look at her straight on, my face inches from hers for what felt like forever. I could feel it, I knew she could feel it. The inevitable. But I broke away before it could even happen. What else do you do, Claire? I asked, pausing before continuing on. You into carnivals? You ever been to a show? I mean music, bands... Singers... The Symphony? I couldn't even stop myself. At least some things never changed, like my uncontrollable need to point out the elephant in the room. You have any siblings? I don't know... I guess I'm just realizing I don't really know anything about you.

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Claire Trevino
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Re: [Closed] FIsheye Lens

Claire Trevino | Human; Citizen

Posted on Tue Nov 22, 2016 2:27 am

Undertones, there were definite undertones to those three words he said but I couldn’t point them out. Guilt? Sadness? Maybe I hadn’t reacted exactly how he’d hoped. Maybe it was the opposite. Maybe he saw it in me, the reaction was more than friendly banter and so it was his way of backing off. Or maybe I was reading too much into it. Just after I’d thought I was enjoying the questions, the guessing game of it all, I was feeling rejection at the slightest change in tone. People jumped from yard to yard hoping the grass was greener when really there were so many shades and hues it would be impossible to tell.

Now was the time, but then I missed now, and maybe it was a good thing. Small talk it was, but I was fine with it. I would take any ounce of that feeling left, the close quarters, even if it was meant to lead nowhere. Maybe I could blame it on the vulnerable state Shane had left me in. The fact that Logan was the one picking me up from it wasn’t helping. He knew what I was going through, he was the knight that saved me on the worst day I’d had in years. Maybe it was realizing that no one else would understand this part of me that was making me want him. There was no one else I would ever be able to tell, no one to talk to about it, no one to help me figure out how things were supposed to make me feel. Maybe I wanted more because of that, but it was a risky bridge to cross if I wanted to go in that direction. Friendship wouldn’t be the same if things didn’t work out, and there was no way I could trust that things would work out.

I loosely folded my arms over my abdomen, looking up at the engine of the car as if it were a sky full of stars or clouds, because it was lovely yet unsettling to look at him now. I was quiet through his guesses, a few of them feeling like mental stabs, but I would never admit it. Should I be upset? I knew where he was going with the emphasis on that last word, and a million ways to handle this passed through my head, but only in the background, as noise taking secondary position to just.. Anger? I didn’t want to be angry with him. I needed him. But he knew better. And the anger turned to hurt.

That place is painful, Logan. How messed up was that? They talked about it in Sociology last semester. Triggers. How weak was is that the word Symphony was a trigger for me? Why? I knew Eva was musical or something. I remember a clarinet, I remember sheet music splayed everywhere. I wasn’t a fool but I didn’t have a clear picture either. Move on. You need him. I’m in school. I’m in an Environmental Science program. Ironic, isn’t it? Driving gas guzzlers around then finding out just how awful they are. And I don’t seem to care. Should I turn it back around? Yes, that worked, focus off of me, right? I could say the same for you. I don't know much about what's going on with you. You have a cousin, right? My eyes darted to him, but quickly back up to the workings of the engine. I distracted myself, realizing that I was really learning more and more about how the heavy, complicated structure that rested above me worked. And a flash of a fantasy flashed before me where it fell on top of me and I didn't have to think about my past anymore.

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Re: [Closed] FIsheye Lens

Logan Milo Byrne | Human; Citizen

Posted on Wed Nov 23, 2016 7:24 pm

It was a lie, I knew everything about her, and honestly as happy and safe as I wanted her to be, I did find the whole thing... Unfair. It was cheap, and weak what she was doing. I tried, and I still was trying, so hard to see her as Claire but I didn't have the superpower she did. The ability to erase everything because it was too complicated and too messy? And yeah, I could admit, maybe it wasn't as simple as her having an extreme case of denial, but if her reaction the last time we were together was any indication, then it was obvious she did remember. She just didn't want to. And I personally felt she was cheating life. She was cheating me. I'd done all I could to fix her, but she still felt broken to me. No amount of flirting and casual hangouts could change that.

I swallowed back everything that I wanted to say and closed my eyes to take a deep breath. And that right there marked my millionth attempt to ignore everything I felt we should be talking about. It was time to focus on the easy, the shit I was good at. I tucked my wrist under my head and looked straight ahead, finding physical comfort in an uncomfortable location wasn't too difficult. In fact, it distracted me long enough that it became incredibly easy to ignore her comment. I'd stirred the pot, but I didn't want to smell or taste what was inside anymore. It could burn for all I cared.

I bit down on nothing, keeping my mouth shut was priority number one. Even if I did suddenly see the connection. From teacher to student. Why should you? I turned my head to look at her. Why should she care? Fuck me it applied to too many things, I just didn't know if she would know what I meant. It didn't matter. I didn't care. My eyes stayed on her, arm casually tucked behind my head, all the while I contemplated the complicated nature of small talk with Claire. The weather was never fine, and even if we brought it up on a sunny day, we'd know it was always storming. I do. I said, clearly uninterested in talking about that idiot. Okay. I said, groaning as I pulled myself out from under the car and went straight for my beer. I downed what was left and pulled off my shirt to ''use it as a cloth'' to twist off the cap and check on her power steering fluid. Alright Clairebear, I'm ready for beer number two. And 'you have any power steering fluid around this place?

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