setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
PLAYBYS: Sims from the games Sims 2, 3 and 4 are used to visually represent player’s original characters (no characters from within the franchise are allowed). But, you do not need these games to join and roleplay! If you wish, you can post a thread in our out of character / general forum and list as many physical details about your character as you wish. The members of Index will happily try and make a character for you, and you can choose which one you feel best fits your vision.

AVATARS: Avatars should display your characters face clearly and should be at least 200 pixels tall, and 200 pixels wide.

THREADING & POSTING: When threading with multiple characters, it is important that you post only when it is your turn. This can be acheived by taking note of who has posted before you, and remember you are to always post after them. If you were the thread starter, then it is your turn after the final person has joined your thread.

When creating a thread you are required to place a tag before the title. Here are a list of types of thread you can create and how to tag each one:

[Open] Anyone is welcome to join your thread, with no limit on the number of characters.
[Open - #] Anyone is welcome to join your thread, but there is a limit on the number of characters who can join. Replace the # with how many extra characters you will allow to join your thread.
[Private] Only specific characters can join your thread.
[Closed] This tag should be used for threads that only involve your character.

ACTIVITY: To keep threads moving, people are encouraged to post within three days when it is their turn. If you do not post within three days, and you have not asked people to wait for you, it is possible you will be skipped. Keep in mind this is just a suggestion. While we'd love for everyone to be active every day, we understand that real life and other hobbies are just as important, if not more. We want you to be active because you want to be, not because a rule is telling you to be.

MATURITY RATING: Public threads should all be PG. If roleplayers above the age of 18 wish to post content that could be could be considered graphic then it should be hidden from view using the [hide] [/hide] code, which will enable only those in the threads and administrators to view the content.


 [Private] Don't Bless Me Father

[Private] Don't Bless Me Father

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[Private] Don't Bless Me Father

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:59 pm

Thread Details
White/Grey Clouds but some Sun | Mid Afternoon


Just fucking great, I was having issues getting cell phone reception. Never at any point had I cursed the trees for their existence but today they could all get fucking cremated. Emerging from the forest with malfunctioning tech device in hand I began walking aimlessly, not looking where I was going. My brain was so stuffed with constant issues that all required big fat red urgent stamps on them, that I’d actually forgotten something really important. It was a testament to how fucked shit was that I had spaced on sending X something he/she/it, whatever, had asked for. Not finding a single bar of reception until I was in the doorway of some building was just adding to my growing fanatical anger.

Fuck X. Fuck Vincent. Fuck Caspian. Fuck Index. “…and fuck me…I’m in a church.” Striding into the building had offered up almost full speed connection to the air-wave Gods, so imagine my grin when I realized I’d walked into an actual fucking House of God. “Does Jesus have free wifi?” I checked my phone and actually laughed out loud. “He does indeed! Hallelujah!” Sniggering I sent a text message off to X which felt even shadier than it normally did given my surroundings. The place was airy, peaceful. What sun could escape the clouded sky outside, chained through stain glass windows spraying small watercolor rainbows on the wooden floors.

X
Shit has been rough. Still on it. Will send asap. My bad.


The place seemed to be empty. When I sniffed the air for some kind of confirmation on this my nostrils were confronted with such a heady concoction of different smells that it was actually hard to tell. There were expensive potent perfumes and colognes from past bible bashers. Fruit and nuts which I was guessing was from some kind of happy clappy sharing platter type shit. Incense of many different kinds. Rice paper from the holy books. Thick wood polish. Candle wax. Fresh flowers. It was like walking into One Shot and being hit with a brick wall of scent in an enclosed spaced. One Shot I was used to. Sweat, Beer, Cigarette smoke, cheap perfume, fart, and Ozra’s forest scent fucking air freshener. This was all new and completely disorientating. My nose was still ultra-sensitive after the last batch of Fanger blood so I leaned against a pew to steady myself.

A ding to announce a message alert filled the room and almost echoed. I’d been whispering to myself before so I had no idea how sound was going to travel in this place. Footsteps heading towards my location actually made my heart quicken in my chest. Fuck. I just needed a moment to read this message and then I’d hopefully be on my merry way. I didn’t need to get mixed up in some conversation with an overly cheery cleaner or some shit.


Seeing one of those little, confession boxes? I darted inside and shut the door behind me. It was pleasantly dark and smelt primarily of varnish, parchment and oddly, cinnamon. My face was lit by the screen of my phone as I opened up my reply from X, only to despair from the sight of it. “Oh no..no, no, no, no…”

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Re: [Private] Don't Bless Me Father

Helios Tallon | Army of God; Chief

Posted on Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:35 pm

I rolled out of the cot I had set up in the basement and rubbed my eyes. I could barely remember arriving back in town the day before. I had been in such a state of delirium from extreme fatigue I was not even entirely sure if I had spoken with anyone. So I immediately reached for my glasses and slipped my shoes back on, lazily inching towards the door as I scratched my whiskery jaw and silently yawned.

There was a melancholy ambiance within the building, one that I had felt before, but of course the cause of this distinct flavor of sorrow greatly differed from the past. It was not death gripping at my ankles and slowing my steps, it was not grief thickening the air, and it was not remorse depleting every ounce of enthusiasm within my body. No, this particular shade of gloom was something else.

Failure.

It was a word that had been repeated quite often during my time away. More often than not the word had been directed at me. Failure to guide, failure to repent, failure to prioritize the hunters oath, failure of faith, failure, failure, failure. My leaders wasted no time reminding me of the word, so much it had nearly lost all essence. I was on my thirteenth ''last chance'', and it too had lost it's meaning. Empty words for an empty man. I suppose it was that statement alone that was the substance behind my repentance. I was empty, and I had no one to blame but myself. But failure to find a worthy reason for your repentance was a sin in itself. For you could not find redemption in a man that feels regret for sparing the life of another.

When I reached the top of the stairs I immediately slipped out the back door, the fresh and cool air instantaneously sending chills over my skin, effectively, though temporarily ridding my body and mind of any leftover drowsiness. It smelled of rain, leftover rain. But the steps leading out of the church were dry, so I sat down to look at my phone as I thought over my evaluation. The physical I was certain I had passed, but the mental and spiritual evaluations were sub par. That was why I had been gone so long, I needed to be cleansed. Not body, but mind and soul. I remembered the exact moment when they had taken my phone, effectively cutting me off from Index, from those I had promised to help.

As I scanned through my contacts I stopped when I reached the L's. Hovering my thumb over Lenny's name as the local stray in these parts rubbed it's body on the side of my leg, shedding hair all over my pants. I reached down to give it a scratch behind the ears, and ran my hand down the length of it's back as I pressed the green button. The silence on the other end forced me to press my phone against my head harder, and it lingered for quite some time. I even turned the volume up to maximum and double checked the screen several times to make sure the call had gone through.

''I'm sorry the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.'' I yanked the phone away from my head, quickly turning down the volume as I listened to the voice on the other end bring my worst fears to life. If there was a way to end a call with a mournful press of a button, I was certain I had done just that. And without reason, I completely removed the contact from my phone entirely, said a prayer, and went back inside. The morning had somehow lost it's grandeur, as had I.




I had passed on my greetings, trimmed the hair from my face, dressed myself, and all the while I thought of one person. My morning grief had disappeared as the day went on. It was not wise to dwell on things that you could not change. However the constant battle I was faced with ''was he'' or ''wasn't he'' alive made my daily routine less efficient. I was beginning to understand the effectiveness of mental warfare. Something that became incredibly apparent as I nearly brushed my teeth with neosporin I was so distracted by the entire ordeal. An ordeal that was missing from my memory, another mystery to be added onto the list. The last I remembered was entering that home, Lenny equipped as a new member of The Army of God. Everything after was completely gone, up until I arrived at headquarters.

I sighed, arms loosely at my sides as I took slow steps down the hall, wanting desperately for the path I was walking to lead somewhere where sense and memory collided into one large revelation. I did not care for the outcome, I only cared for truth. But as I neared the main hall, I watched as a figure slipped into confessional. Like an internal auto pilot I followed, slipping inside as well, the only sound following the females consecutive ''No's'' being the sound of my breath as I sat down.

How long has it been since your last confession?

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Re: [Private] Don't Bless Me Father

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Fri Oct 07, 2016 1:43 am

“Fuck” The word was for both slabs of bullshit that had been rammed into my lap. One for the threatening text message I was glaring at with a mixture of rage and helplessness. The second was the arrival of a fucking priest. Well this was a splendid idea Luxx. Truly a stunner. Of course someone was going to come and man the bloody confessional. Had to make sure I wasn’t a homeless having a sleep, a drunk having a shit or a junkie snorting a line didn’t they? The enclosed space had that cinnamon smell increase now interlaced with coconut and hazelnut or something. I was talking to a man of the cloth who smelt like a bakery item. Slumping back in the uncomfortable little seat I had lost all energy. No drive to just tell the guy to fuck himself with his crucifix and bail out before I was told to chant Our Fathers and Hail Mary’s till the Lord himself arrived in the flesh. It would take that damn long to repent my sins. His make believe God couldn’t do a fucking thing anyway, only the Ancestors could judge me.

“Thirty years” I remembered sitting in a stuffy Church waiting as my Grandmother went and got chatty with a priest. Even then I hadn’t seen the point in asking a random man for a get out of jail free card. As a kid though I’d never understood the concept of higher powers. Unless they could whisk me away to Disneyland I wasn’t having it. Slap a few years onto that and me and the human Gods had never seen eye to eye, since they had never done anything about my abusive family. They had forsaken me, so I just gave them the fucking finger. “Or more specifically, never…how does this even work? I tell you how I’ve been a very bad girl and you give me a way to avoid the perils of hell?” Laughing under my breath I sucked in that rich biscuit smell that hung in the space like a cloud. Wonder what this Father Joe looked like, because he sure smelt fucking delicious. Thinking about eating made my stomach flip as it reminded me of what I’d devoured recently.


“You can’t tell a soul though, can you?” Maybe this could be therapeutic. There wasn’t a person alive that I could talk to and sometimes articulating thoughts aloud helped me come to conclusions, resolutions. In the very least it would get the shit out of my head where it festered. It was probably better that the other side of the conversation would have no fucking clue what I was on about either. He wouldn’t be able to call the looney bin to have me carted away either, considering the extent of the sins I had to roll out before him. “How does it go in movies? Ummmm. Hi Father, I’m Lilith, Bless me for I have sinned? That’s about right yeah?”

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Re: [Private] Don't Bless Me Father

Helios Tallon | Army of God; Chief

Posted on Fri Oct 07, 2016 11:58 am

I frowned, feeling thankful for the screen that separated us. A negative facial reaction never encouraged honesty and a feeling of safety. Which was what I was supposed to emanate, was it not? I truly cared for people, but I had a feeling that it was that care inside of me that people felt connected to. It was not a skill I possessed, a manipulation, a warmth, it was just a part of me. Or maybe spending months searching for absolution in the confinements of a pale white room with a cross on the wall had imprinted the word of failure on my soul, so deeply I could not even admit to my successes and virtues.

I stared at my hands, not even shocked at the confession of thirty years. It did, however, inspire me to listen closer. To break free of the self loathing and pity that had bewitched my mind and truly listen to the lost soul on the other side of the screen. It is never too late to seek guidance. I assured her, bringing clarity to the fact that I did not judge. That is correct. But there is more to confession than forgiveness. Some find the act of confession remedial as it can be calming to open up without fear of judgement. What a grand lie it was. I could not even count on all my fingers and toes the amount of times I had overheard my fellow soldiers of God discussing the confidential sins of the people they swore to protect, body and soul.

I can not, and I would not. I leaned my head back, closing my eyes as I awaited the inevitable. My last experience in this very box had driven me to unspeakable acts. There was nothing more challenging to my oath than listening to all the ways people could betray those they loved. It was also motivational, even if what I had done was careless and foolish.

Close... I whispered, head turning to try and see the face behind the metal pattern that separated us. I had heard this name, many times. It was just a name, but coincidence had a way of finding it's way into my life in the most unexpected ways.

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Re: [Private] Don't Bless Me Father

Lilith Alysbury | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Sun Oct 09, 2016 12:58 am

In his brand of flowery religious mumbo jumbo he had solidified what this encounter could do for me. While there were some things I could now discuss with my Wolf, there was so much I could not. While this human would never understand, he could be a nameless figure I could reveal all to without fear of being thrown out with the garbage. Talking to myself in the mirror didn’t hold the same weight. I could gauge how to explain certain things to Onyx, to others, after running it by the priest first. Fuck this was mental but in a way it was already calming the storms that had been overlapping in my insides for months upon months.

“Cannot and would not.” I repeated the words as if to try and make them more real. Maybe he would be struck down with an almighty backhand from God. That would be some shit to see. “After you’ve heard some of this shit, I think you’ll be hard pressed to find someone who would believe you anyway.” Some drunken bum might get a kick out of it. Fangers would probably burn up at the doorway to the church, Wolves probably never gave this place a second thought and Witches, well, they were the least likely. Salem Witch Trials anyone?

“Where to start?...” Breathing deeply I pondered the issue for a while, deciding to go with something recent. “Sin number one for today will be….that I’m currently a Vampire Blood Junkie.” Saying it aloud always had a souring effect on me. I’d shit all over Wolves in the past who had succumbed to the lure of Fanger Juice. They were weak, miserable, pathetic excuses for Pack Members. Now I was one of them. “While that in itself is pretty fucking disgusting, I’m also hiding it from my…friends?” Using that word to describe Onyx was a hard pill to swallow.


“I’m slowly killing myself, and suicides a sin right? So that makes three in one. I’m an addict, a sneaky bitch and suicidal.” This shit was actually making me feel worse but it was only because it was a wake-up call. Onyx had every right not to trust me with fucking anything. Squeezing the bridge of my nose I growled a little under my breath. Angry at myself for making everything so difficult. “I know I have to stop, I want to, but while it hurts me, gives them every reason to hate and distrust me…it gives me greater powers to protect them all from harm.” It wasn't that I needed the stuff. I was strong, fast, agile, and very able without being jacked up but when taken in the right dosage it made me a demon of a fighter. No sleep, No food, No water. Wounds could be for the most part ignored, as pain was only a mere memory. A double edged sword. A flip of the coin. One slam of the red stuff and I could be the best Soldier Onyx could have ever asked for....or a complete and utter nightmare.

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