Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

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 [Closed] Monster

[Closed] Monster

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[Closed] Monster

Logan Milo Byrne | Human; Citizen

Posted on Fri Oct 09, 2015 6:36 pm

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New Gallery 2015/10/1

The dripping faucet sent a hollow sound throughout the room. It was a quiet sound, easy enough to ignore, but each drip sent a pulsing pain throughout my head. It wasn't real. It was just a bad dream. I leaned over the sink and looked at my reflection, the thought rolling through my mind, around and around as I tried to convince myself it was true. It was just a bad dream. My jaw quivered, forcing a weak and pitiful tone to accompany my lie.

I didn't want it. I didn't want to do it. I never wanted to do it, not like that. I'd never wanted anything from a woman that didn't come with mutual consent. Not ever in my life. She was always just a fanatasy for me. And that was always enough. My fantasy with her was harmless. It was so fucking harmless so why did it happen?! Why did I do it?! I wasn't a bad person. All I ever wanted was to be happy, and be around happy people, and spread laughter, so why did I do it?!

More dripping. More pain. And I closed my eyes so tight I thought they'd suck back into my skull from the pressure of my eye lids. And when they opened, tears settled into my dark circles. I glared at my reflection, not because of the dripping, not because of the migraine, not because of the tears, but because of what I was. Because of what I'd become. A monster. A ghoul parents used to frighten their children into staying away from strangers. I was a fucking monster.

But it wasn't real. My voice cracked as I remembered every moment. It played back throughout my mind on super speed, no painfully frightening detail left behind. There were only three things I cared about in this world. Three things that if taken away from me would destroy me. Music, family, and friends. The thought of playing again and knowing it wouldn't fix my problem this time meant it was taken away from me. I'd pushed my family away. I'd given up my daughter, called my cousin a bottom feeder, and refused contact with my father. My family had been taken from me. And worst of all, the thing that had me wishing I could go to sleep and never wake up, I'd destroyed a friend. I'd taken everything I had with this person and with one evil act erased everything that mattered. My friend had been taken from me. And the thief, was myself.

I could feel it, hatred bubbling up. It was so consuming and suffocating. The feeling was thick, like drowning in water. Hatred so powerful and so unforgiving it took me by surprise. I stared at my red eyes as this feeling ate away at every mental solace, devouring everything that would normally put my heart and mind at ease, leaving me isolated with my pain and no hope for light in the dark. Every muscle in my body quivered from how tensely I was straining them, as if squeezing and glaring with such force would make it all go away. As if it'd make what I'd done disappear.

You stupid fucking piece of shit! I yelled at myself, this time unable to stop the tears from falling out of the caverns beneath my eyes, feeling increasingly sick of my own face. This wasn't the face of a man anymore. I was and would always be a monster. There was no going back, there was no coming back from this.

My fist crashed into the mirror, shattering the glass. What was left was a distorted vision of me in each shard. Pieces of my face reflecting in different shards, and finally, I was seeing myself for what I was. Ugly inside, and now out.


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