setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
PLAYBYS: Sims from the games Sims 2, 3 and 4 are used to visually represent player’s original characters (no characters from within the franchise are allowed). But, you do not need these games to join and roleplay! If you wish, you can post a thread in our out of character / general forum and list as many physical details about your character as you wish. The members of Index will happily try and make a character for you, and you can choose which one you feel best fits your vision.

AVATARS: Avatars should display your characters face clearly and should be at least 200 pixels tall, and 200 pixels wide.

THREADING & POSTING: When threading with multiple characters, it is important that you post only when it is your turn. This can be acheived by taking note of who has posted before you, and remember you are to always post after them. If you were the thread starter, then it is your turn after the final person has joined your thread.

When creating a thread you are required to place a tag before the title. Here are a list of types of thread you can create and how to tag each one:

[Open] Anyone is welcome to join your thread, with no limit on the number of characters.
[Open - #] Anyone is welcome to join your thread, but there is a limit on the number of characters who can join. Replace the # with how many extra characters you will allow to join your thread.
[Private] Only specific characters can join your thread.
[Closed] This tag should be used for threads that only involve your character.

ACTIVITY: To keep threads moving, people are encouraged to post within three days when it is their turn. If you do not post within three days, and you have not asked people to wait for you, it is possible you will be skipped. Keep in mind this is just a suggestion. While we'd love for everyone to be active every day, we understand that real life and other hobbies are just as important, if not more. We want you to be active because you want to be, not because a rule is telling you to be.

MATURITY RATING: Public threads should all be PG. If roleplayers above the age of 18 wish to post content that could be could be considered graphic then it should be hidden from view using the [hide] [/hide] code, which will enable only those in the threads and administrators to view the content.


 [Private] Peroxide - Page 2

[Private] Peroxide

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Re: [Private] Peroxide

Noelle Faye Benson | Vampire; Infant

Posted on Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:08 pm

His reaction had irritated me at first. I wasn't the type of woman that needed moments. They were nice when they happened on their own, randomly, but not too often. The kind of moments when you just feel connected to the person you're talking to. But I most definitely didn't need them, nor did I want them on a regular basis. That just ruined everything that was special about them. But I felt like his smile was mocking me. I felt like maybe it was the kind of smile that shows itself before angry words were spoken. Or like he thought I, and everything I did for him was a joke... But his response? His response changed all of that.

His response surprised me. And I had to wonder if the relief I was feeling was just as intense as his seemed to be. That doesn't mean... I had no idea how to word what I wanted to say, because what I was about to say could have easily been taken out of context. I mean... I turned you on a whim, yes, but that doesn't mean I don't want something more now. Things changed when I made you mine, and myself yours. I don't want to be your wife or your naggy ex that always puts a damper on a good time. I want the freedom to... Have a good time with people just as much as you do. But just because we aren't connected in that way doesn't mean we're not connected at all. I want to be the one who shares those good times with you, maybe not all of the time, but at least some of the time. But lately it feels like I'm just a plague to be avoided. There's so much I wanted to show you and teach you about what you are, and maybe I'm still learning myself, but I was genuinely excited to show you the kind of potential we have, but it's kind of impossible when... I sighed as I played with my hair. It feels like you hate me... And unfortunately, I'm incapable of hating you back, it's just the way of the vampire.

I wanted to put a damn cork in my mouth to stop myself from talking. And I even opened my mouth to say more because I had much to say to my progeny right now. Could you blame me? It'd built up after months of no contact. I felt like we were just strangers that in the past year had only waved at each other in passing. Just. Talk to me? I'd managed to stop myself from saying the millions of other things I wanted and needed to say to him, and it was a sacrifice for something better. Or at least I hoped. Was he finally going to talk to me? Could I even get him to talk to me? I hated this. What happened to the Benjamin I remembered from our human days?

I sighed again, this time doing so as I leaned back to lay down, my eyes looking straight up to the sky. There was only one thing I wanted to hear right now, and that was his voice giving me a damned explanation for everything.

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Re: [Private] Peroxide

Benjamin Reese | Vampire; Infant

Posted on Sat Sep 26, 2015 1:58 pm

There were positives and negatives of it. The positive, yes, the weight lifted from my chest. The weight of some random expectation that I had other desire to fill, other than to satisfy Noelle. The negative was that my mission, if you could call it that, was very vague. There were no guidelines on just how to make her happy, how to please my maker or whatever. And maybe I would just be stuck in the same cycle - try and fail, try and fail. It sounded so easy the way she said it, even fun. The night in my old neighborhood with her and our trip to Seattle was still one of my best memories, even if I had still been purely overwhelmed with my feelings.

I’d been staring out at the view from the library; not like it was in some high rise, but I enjoyed it while I listened, but I felt a twinge of shock and confusion, and I was now centered on her. How did she think… Then it all settled in and it made sense. Fuck, no, I didn’t want to admit it, yeah. It made sense. I don’t hate you, I can’t. But what I realized was that I was trying to.

I wanted to, Noelle, I tried. I turned my gaze back to the town. It was better to me than admitting you had a power over me. I didn’t… I don’t like that. I’m still getting used to it. What was I supposed to say? I was usually the one in control? Control. I’m used to having more control.

As much as I thought I’d used all the “talk” in me on Sofia, I felt the dam beginning to break. So many things, particularly questions filled my head, and I made a mental note to pace myself, and to be careful. I still wanted my balls intact, as much as they could be.

I don’t know how to do this. Everything is completely fucking upside-down. I save lives, and now I’m meant to take them. That’s fine, and all, but.. how much does it matter? Do we just do it? And get by with it? I don’t want a purpose, but I’m so used to one being shoved in my face. Graduate high school, go to college, get a job, be successful. Nothing else mattered, that was what you’re fucking supposed to do, and none of it could matter less now. And that was my paradox, now spilled from my chest.

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Re: [Private] Peroxide

Noelle Faye Benson | Vampire; Infant

Posted on Sat Sep 26, 2015 4:44 pm

So maybe I wasn't being completely honest with him, and just the same, I wasn't being completely honest with myself. Was it jealousy that made me so angry when I discovered his human pet? I had to admit there was some jealousy, but there was more to it. I was angry because I was then, and still was now completely out of tune with his life. It wasn't like I needed a play by play every day before he went to ground, but finding out he had made his first connection with a human in the way that I did made me feel incredibly excluded. For all I knew she wasn't his first connection with a human since being turned, and that thought was even more infuriating that the previous. And that stupid necklace... It was just an object, and as much as I didn't want it to mean anything more I was too materialistic to look past it's sentimental value. That necklace was the most valuable thing Benjamin could give another person, and he had pawned it off on some fang banger. He might as well have gone down on one knee and proposed to the little whore, a wedding that I no doubt wouldn't have been invited to.

Well no one said you needed to be submissive Benjamin. Can't you see? That is a big part of our problem. It was true. I say jump, he jumps. Hadn't he wondered why I hadn't contacted him? When he was off avoiding me all that time, hadn't he wondered why that was? I could have snapped my fingers and he would have poofed at my side like a genie in a bottle if I so desired all of this time, but I never did. And why was that? Because while I was his maker, I didn't want him to be a puppet I controlled. Gayle taught me that by letting me learn on my own. By granting me free will and I was more than thankful for that. If I wanted to control someone, there are plenty of people I would choose before you, and have if I'm completely honest. - To be fair, while you may think you have power over me, it is a two way street. We are equals when it comes to that, maybe you'd do well to remind yourself of that.

And there it was. He was actually speaking to me. We'd talked many times, but word play wasn't what I'd consider conversation. Like I said, I didn't want to control him. I could have forced him to talk to me on many occasions but I didn't, he needed to do it on his own time, I just didn't think it'd take him this long to open up, even if I was only getting a small glimpse inside his mind. Nobody said you had to take them. That power is like cocaine, I will admit, but you don't have to kill to survive. I will say, not even I know how to stop once I've started, but it is something that can be done. Is that what he needed? A mission? Something to focus on? Well if he wanted to train himself to feed without killing then I wouldn't object. I myself had no desire to rush the skill, and instead would rather let time teach me how to choose who lives and who dies.

I laughed, and I shouldn't have, but I had to. You act like you're six feet under Benjamin. You're not dead, not in the traditional sense anyway. If you want to decide that your efforts from your human life were just wasted time, then so be it. But that is your choice. If you need purpose shoved in your face, even if you say you don't want one, then I'm honestly a little irritated. If you'd just talked to me sooner instead of avoiding me to go play with your food I could have shoved purpose in your face, or at least the opportunity for one. But willingness is a hard thing to come by for you, I assume? Willingness to let go of who you were.

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Re: [Private] Peroxide

Benjamin Reese | Vampire; Infant

Posted on Wed Sep 30, 2015 9:07 am

God, I wasn’t good at this and that’s why I never did it. I could never communicate exactly what I meant, and I had never been trained on how to talk about my feelings. Sometimes, I wondered, if I’d had a dad, would he have ever given me any hints on just how the hell I was supposed to talk to women? Maybe some kind of little thing to say to make them happy… Because I wasn’t used to caring about whether or not they were pissed with me or not.

I don’t even mean that kind of power, Noe. I mean.. I have no idea what to do with… fuck. I was beginning to get so stressed on how to say it that I couldn’t even remember what the problem was to begin with. I get overwhelmed with you. I mean.. honestly, it’s better. I mean.. right now, it’s easier, in a way, than it ever has been. But one suggestive glance, one glimpse of your skin and I’m consumed. I smiled and shook my head. In a way, you should be flattered. I avoid you not because I hate you but because I’m so fucked up over you I don’t know how to handle it. I haven’t ever been on the other end of that. Maybe that last bit was an arrogant thing to say, but it was the truth. Felicity. But there was no way what Felicity felt for me could be anything near what I felt for Noelle. And it wasn’t some.. crush. It wasn’t some undying love. It was something that I didn’t think could even be explained. But I had a hope inside me now that things could be better, because right now, as I spoke with her, it wasn’t going away, but I was getting used to it.

And then I laughed. But I was almost embarrassed at the same time. This isn’t some moral, I don’t want to kill thing. This is… my disbelief? Maybe? That I can just kill and get by with it. And what happens if I do get caught? Honestly, I was just speaking my own thought process. My own realization that maybe shit didn’t matter as much as I thought it did. I mean, it’s easy enough to get out of right? Just make them let me go. Do I even have any consequences anymore?

Her angry tone should have unnerved me, but shit, I was even annoyed and frustrated with myself. Maybe I was being childish. If someone hands you gold, you take the gold, right? I took the gold but complained that I had to carry it. I don’t know. It’s just an adjustment. I’ll figure it out, and it shouldn’t be your problem. Technically, she was the one who had turned me, but I wasn’t bratty enough to think that she was in charge of my happiness just for that fact. I loved this, I loved being strong, and I really grew to enjoy the kill. I just wanted to know that there were no consequences for me. That was the biggest adjustment of all, not learning to fly or whatever but actually believing that I could.

I mean you… This seems so easy for you, like you glow as a vampire, Noelle, like this was made for you, not the other way around. I mean, normally, if anyone else had worn those elaborate dresses around all the time, it would just seem… fucking weird. But it only made sense for her.

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Re: [Private] Peroxide

Noelle Faye Benson | Vampire; Infant

Posted on Thu Oct 01, 2015 3:07 am

He was right.

I had no idea who this man was, and everything I thought I knew, he just proved completely wrong.

I could admit that I'd made some assumptions about Benjamin. And in the past, he had made some about me too. I should have learned my lesson considering he'd pegged me completely wrong in the past. More specifically that night with him and his pet. But now I'd pegged him completely wrong. But no, I didn't feel like I'd put my foot in my mouth. I wasn't embarrassed. I was actually relieved. The tables had turned and I felt like for once, maybe I could understand this man. If only I'd stop letting my assumptions and accusations from getting in the way. Unfortunately that wasn't always easy with him. My assumptions and accusations were mostly all I had to rely on for quite some time, considering he was never around, and when he was, he didn't communicate like he was now.

I didn't want to smile. I don't know why but I didn't want him to know that flattered me. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable with compliments, in fact, I rather enjoyed them. I just didn't want him to know that his compliment felt good, there was no explanation for it. It was just a feeling, one that unfortunately I couldn't stand by because I was already grinning. So how do we fix that? I asked, feeling as though I already had the answer. I'll do anything I can to help us... Fix that situation. If it means I can have you back, then I'll do anything. I didn't mean that romantically at all. But again, it was just that unexplained progeny, maker bond. I just needed to be with him.

Except... One thing... I'm not going to start dressing matronly around you... That is one thing I won't compromise. I had to throw it in, I had to make it know that I wasn't about to give up my fashion sense for him. Naturally I would, if his life was on the line, but it wasn't, now was it?

I finally understood him. And I felt so foolish for not understanding him on this point because I'd assumed he was struggling in the same way I had when I was turned. I assumed it was moral. I'd even gone out of my way to eat hillbillies for him, something he owed me big time for. They tasted so... Cheap. Well I've been a damn fool, haven't I? I admitted aloud, not expecting nor wanting an answer. For the record, there are consequences. You may not need to fear humans, their police force, or even their government, but we're not free to run a muck around the world doing as we please. We have more freedoms than we did in our human life, but we also have our own form of government, and they're not nearly as forgiving as the government we remember as humans. They keep some like us in line, more specifically, those that break our laws. I myself will admit I haven't taken it upon myself to learn and abide by all of their laws, but I do know if they capture you, you don't come back. Ever. The most important thing I've come to know, is they don't want our kind revealed to the human population. Granted they clearly overlook small cases, but the point is, there are consequences for what we do. - But yes, jail cells and that silly tickle they call the death penalty are nothing to be feared. Simply compelling usually does the trick.

There was much to learn, for he and I. But now was not the time. No, we were on a roll and I wasn't quite ready to put the cork in Benjamin's mouth. I'd been waiting for this for too long.

I smiled, I even laughed. You are my problem. You're also my gift. But your problems are my problems now. I would never expect you to share everything with me, but what use am I if I can't help you? I don't want, nor should I be someone you're just consumed by. I want to help, even if I can't always fix everything. I sat up, leaning forward, trying to catch his gaze. I really wanted to him to hear me, as I was him.

But what he said next had me sighing and desperately trying to look anywhere but at him. Well first of all, it's not easy for me. Not always. But also, it takes time. We weren't granted insanely long lives for things to come quickly and easily. Everything takes time, and some effort, and all of that bullshit you'd expect. As much as I appreciate the compliment, you only think it's easy for me because that's what I want you and the world to believe. - And honestly, you don't see what I see. You are made for this, you're a natural. I mean... Considering how little I've actually taught you, you haven't been snatched up by those white vans yet, so I'd say you're doing better than alright.

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