setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
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 [Private] Fucking Fangers - Page 2

[Private] Fucking Fangers

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:26 am

The missing wolves. If there was any single way the conversation could get exponentially worse for me, it was the direction it had just turned in. The embarrassment coiling in my gut turned to stone.

You're right. I said softly, trying my best to veer the topic away from the wolves' disappearances as long as possible. I'm sorry about.. that, but I'm sure you appreciate it's a lot to take in. Finding you with a vampire, you saying you'd been taken and then maybe that's what been happening to the other wolves... I trailed off. It would be so easy to lead Vincent down a path believing that the disappearances were at the hands of vampires, but would it be the right thing to do? He was right about one thing, even if he was wrong about others. How did we even know what kinds of hell those wolves were going through? Sam was no longer Sam and I couldn't begin to guess what had happened to the bodies that had turned up. Vincent was right. This wasn't about him, or me, or even Sam anymore. I had to put the pack first. For all I knew Vincent might actually help me and it might be the time to take that chance. I'll do my best not to act like that again. But.. are you sure it's vampires behind it? It's only there's been reports at work, humans disappearing too, or bodies turning up... I cut off, not wanting to go into details of what the remains were like. Using the term 'body' might have been a bit generous.

But I think we need to talk about this somewhere more private... I broke off after what he said, watching Vincent's awkward movements. Had he not got over the hug by now? My mouth hung open when it became obvious what he meant and I folded my arms, one eyebrow raised, watching him and torn between being curious and being offended. I didn't exactly expect more than Vincent expecting that even at a time as it was, but I couldn't help wondering if he was only saying it to try and push me away. As for the sex itself I was no prude, but I had standards and didn't want to get myself in an odd situation where I was somehow taking advantage of an emotionally crippled man. The sex though.. it had been a while. Many of the wolves in the pack were either offensive via personality or unattractive physically and I somehow felt guilty constantly reverting to the system I'd had in place as a human, the numbers of certain 'friends' I'd had in my phone untouched for months.

I tilted my head, watching Onyx and a pursed smile slowly formed on my lips. ..'that or?' It was abundantly clear I knew exactly what he'd been talking about and I didn't even try to hide it. I wanted him to know. I stepped closer to him, took hold of his arm and gave him a glance to at least prepare himself after the last time I'd teleported him only a few feet and he'd still complained.

We appeared in the kitchen, my heart racing from using my gift. It took a second for me to get my bearings and the room to stop rocking but when it had I went over to the counters, turning to face Vincent and leaning my hip against it. At least now we can talk freely, without me feeling like there's a vampire lurking in the background somewhere. I half muttered to myself. I brushed my hand through my hair, flicking it over my shoulder, and eyed Onyx again, contemplating and distracting myself. I let out a conflicted sigh. Well... I'm not exactly surprised - and don't worry about me being offended either because I'm not - but Onyx, is that honestly what you think would help you right now? Sex? I asked, keeping my voice light, inquisitive, rather than judging, just in case he meant it honestly rather than some strange defensive tactic. If he really felt he needed that then it was up to him, but as much I hated to be such a typical woman and think of emotions, that was where my mind went. As much fun as getting in between the sheets would be, doing it without talking things over made me think of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. Or certain other places, but I really didn't want to go there and only end up tempting myself. I can always get a pan on the stove while we talk it over. I said, as if I was giving both options, sex or hot chocolate, equal credibility - and in some way I was. It made both seem a touch ridiculous and at the same time, inanely ordinary. Except after everything Vincent told me even the wildest, most ridiculous kinky sex could be termed ordinary compared to other things that were going on. Maybe it all just seemed trivial to me when the thoughts of the disappearing wolves, of Sam, and my part in the situation were running turmoil in my mind. Even talking about sex to make someone feel better was a enough of a distraction to continue the topic and push away dealing with real problems, but with a heavy heart I knew I couldn't carry on with it. I felt like I was lying to Vincent in some way even if I hadn't said anything. Though that in itself was the problem. I had to say something before I let the opportunity pass. I couldn't give in to my own fear. But, whatever happens.. I started, the thought of sex now ridiculous and completely implausible considering the reaction I was expecting to get, I need to tell you something first. I said quietly and suddenly, turning awkward and shy myself but not for any reasons Vincent might guess. I spun round to the cupboard and got out the smart glass jar of cocoa powder to avoid looking at him, my heart hammering in my chest as I tried to calm down. Strong, I kept telling myself, I had to be strong, I had to do this if only for the sake of the pack and the wolves who might become the next unwitting victims. I swallowed thickly, all my nerves from the past few months rearing their ugly heads when it came to spilling the truth. What if he killed Sam? Images of Sam's body like the ones that had been bought in filtered into my mind and I almost dropped the glass jar of hot chocolate, just catching it and pushing it back onto the counter.

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Fri Sep 11, 2015 2:16 pm

In the moment it was awkward as hell. Life would be so much easier if women just... didn't cry. Life would be so much easier if they were physically incapable of tears. I didn't like it because I didn't understand it, it was awkward, and I didn't want her crying because fuck it made me feel bad which made me feel even more awkward because I didn't know how to comfort or... And yeah, maybe I was just lucky, but when women had cried in my past it did always lead to sex. So it wasn't that weird that, that's where my mind went when she said ''anything''. The crying itself didn't exactly get my gears turning, but it didn't take more than a shirt to come off for me to completely forget about the awkward mess beforehand.

Now that she'd stopped crying I felt really fucking bad for not doing more. But then I started feeling fucking pissed off at myself because there was nothing I could do. What was the right thing to do when someone was crying? Shit I should have thanked her now that I thought about it. I'd nearly completely avoided the fear that came with telling the truth and moved straight to awkward and uncomfortable. It was a distraction, maybe not the best kind, but as much as I liked to pretend I'd rather deal with anything else than a crying woman, it wasn't true. There were worse reactions to what I'd told her... Now how the fuck could I make sure to remember that? How could I make sure to remind myself of that?

No I just, I don't know what to do. I frowned, realizing that statement could be applied to nearly everything that just happened. About uh... I don't know how to um... Make you feel better? There, it was out in the open. I didn't wanna get outwardly pissed and make it worse, and hugging back was just awkward. Fuck, could I stop thinking about it now? I needed to let the embarrassment of the situation die already fucking hell. Yeah it is a lot to take in I guess, I forget that because it's been gradual for me... Not all at once. Finally, something honest that didn't have any negative emotion attached to it.

I wouldn't put it past 'em. Humans are their food source, wolves are their cocaine. It makes sense, doesn't it? Honestly, I was speaking as if I'd known all along, but really all I'd known was about the missing wolves. I'd done my best to try and ignore it, but I couldn't ignore it anymore. Even if I was the reason one of those wolves was missing. It wasn't about me anymore, I'd said that, and I needed to start believing it. If people found out about what I'd done to that wolf, then fine, it was time I pay for that mistake. At this point I craved punishment for what I'd done, because no physical punishment would ever be worse than the mental torment I went through whenever I thought about that fucking wolf. And I thought about him every fucking day.

Yeah... I looked down at my arm, thinking about the device that I'd carved out of it. Was her home safer than out here? Maybe, but if they knew what we were talking about, if Ursula was around which yeah, I didn't think she was, but if she was, then going somewhere else would be safer. But in the end it wouldn't matter, I knew I had more tracking devices hidden behind my skin, and all I could do was hope we they couldn't hear or even know everything I talked about. Because at this point, the truth needed to start coming out.

I didn't even get a chance to answer her question before I knew what she was preparing to do. And oddly, I knew what her gift was, she'd already used it once tonight, but I still assumed we'd drive or walk. It was convenient, yeah, but when we appeared in her kitchen, I stood there for a moment before that rushing feeling of nausea hit me like a freight train. I immediately leaned over her counter, both arms acting as the only weight and barrier, preventing me from toppling to the floor in a pile of sludge. And that's exactly what I felt would happen, because I felt sick as fuck. I groaned in misery as it felt like the floors were rocking back and forth beneath me. It was convenient, I'd thought it myself, and in the moment, I felt the ''convenient'' nature of her gift was a crock of shit.

Yeah... Privacy is good. I spoke as I slowly pulled myself upright and began moving to sit my ass down. The feeling was fading, and in a way I was glad it was the kind that came and went quickly, rather than that dull everlasting ache my gift gave me. Sex always helps. I muttered as I pulled out a chair and sat down, instantly feeling like the feeling had gone completely. When your mind is wrapped up in every negative feeling all of the goddamned time, yeah, you're pretty much constantly searching for anything to make it go away. So I'd say it helps, but I just misunderstood you, that's all. I wouldn't expect you to uh... Yanno... Unless you were into it... Wasn't that the point of coming here? To speak freely? Even then I couldn't even remember ever talking about sex, it was something that just happened. So it was kind of weird for me. Then again she wasn't the typical wolf from what I'd seen so, maybe this was how she did things. I didn't know. It was just weird, and I wouldn't say bad weird, I wouldn't say good weird either. I'd just expected her to get pissed once she'd figured out what I meant, that's what made it weird. Maybe I didn't understand her as well as I'd thought I did?

My insides instantly tensed up. There were few statements in the world that could instantly give you a bad feeling. ''We need to talk'' and ''I need to tell you something'' were the first two that popped into my head. They almost always carried bad news with them, and my tank was full of bad news, and I needed some good news oil if I wanted to keep going. I don't like the sound of that, please fucking tell me you don't mean it in a bad way... My mind was still on sex. My eyes were working with my imagination as I pictured her removing all of her clothes and revealing something I'd never expect from her, some violent and intense sex kitten hidden behind her clean and prim attire. So my mind first went to disease, was she trying to tell me she had a disease before her claws emerged and she clawed off my clothes? No, that couldn't be it, we didn't carry disease. So what the fuck was it that she needed to tell me? Fuck, did I need liquor for this?

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:03 pm

I sniffed a little, smiling at Vincent's ongoing awkwardness. It was somehow endearing and a little comical even despite the situation, that my little dramatized show of emotions had him acting like that. Knowing that you want me to feel better is enough to do exactly that. So thank you. I just hope I can do the same for you.

Vampires were evil, yes, but I wondered if Vincent might soon paint me with the same brush as them when he knew what I'd been hiding.


-

It's a great stress relief, I agree. Gods, yes, it had been far too long. But it didn't mean I was going to jump on any opportunity that presented itself. Sex was good. But unfortunately sex rarely just came as sex and there were always going to be implications afterwards unless it was truly 'no strings attached', and I'd found that considerably rare. But I don't.. just want you using it as a tool in some sort of denial here. I don't want to be a part of that and I don't know that anyone else should either. Besides that, you're in a position of authority over me and I'm not sure how I feel about that, Was it really that different to my rule about not sleeping with any higher up law officers at work? Wolves and cops were worlds apart, yes, but wasn't the principal the same? It felt like there was some line there regardless of how blurred it was but that hardly mattered. It was a spec of an island, blurred through a telescope with a storm blocking the way and making any hope seem doomed. I doubted Vincent would even want to talk to me when he knew the truth. Anyway, none of that even matters. I don't think you'll find it such a 'temptation after' I tell you. I laughed sadly at the very idea.

I set down the glass jar of cocoa powder and with it the distractions, walking over to the table. I took a seat opposite Vincent and looked down at my hands in my lap before up at him.

If it was a good way I wouldn't have been so scared to tell you all this time. I wanted to! Sometimes I nearly did.. and I was so close to telling Peyton too but I kept letting a fear overcome me. I took a little breath in and set my gaze on Vincent, at least giving him the respect of looking him in the eyes. It's not a vampire behind the disappearances, or at least I don't think it is. It's... a wolf. My stomach lurched with nerves and I had to look away from Vincent, so terrified of what he'd think of me. The wolves aren't just missing... I think they're dead. I know one of them is at least. I said, voice almost a whisper. I bought a hand in front of my mouth, I thought I could handle it by myself but.. I'm so sorry, I think I was wrong. I need you help. I have needed your help, I'm.. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner and maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad. I struggled not to choke up and cry again, sniffing back the threat of tears and glaring determinedly until any sobbing sensations resided. I.. understand if you want to banish me from the pack but please, just don't hurt him. I pleased quietly. I'd already resigned myself to what I believed was my fate but I couldn't stop hoping that I might at least be able to help Sam and not make what had happened so far all be in vain.

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Fri Sep 11, 2015 5:04 pm

She really was different. There were so many analogies I could use to explain just how different she was, but not a one did her justice. Maybe she wasn't the first one to think it, maybe she wasn't the first one to even say it, but it didn't make it any less rare. The fact that she looked at me as her alpha, and that was the reason she was apprehensive was in itself, really fucking different from most other females. Maybe some of them hated me, maybe their human side, wolf side, both sides hated me or found me revolting, but usually those emotions didn't overcome my scent or power. Fuck I wasn't trying to come off as some God that all the ladies wanted to fuck, but it was just the way it was. Call it pheromones if you must, it was just the way of our world. It wasn't bad, and it wasn't good that she was different, it just was.

We don't have to do shit, we can sit here and discuss stuff over whatever the fuck you called that stuff you're making us to drink, and that's fine. But everyone needs an escape from life. Everyone needs a moment to forget that all of the misery life brings forth all leads to one grand miserable exit, one ending, death. Maybe you have your own version of that escape, and I have mine. It's not denial, it's just... Shit it's just a momentary release. A moment of contentment and carefree happiness. It's not denial. A light in the dark? A song in silence? It didn't matter how I put it, they all had one thing in common, they weren't denial. I just didn't like how she was making it sound. So... Fuck, sacred? No, not sacred, just, negative. It wasn't a fucking bad thing to need a break from this hell, and that was the one thing I wouldn't let a single soul convince me otherwise.

God would she just spit it out already? Every inch of me was on high alert with nerves. Did she know? About the wolf? She was a detective, and it made sense. It fit into this... Conversation, or at least it fit into what we had been talking about in the forest. But why would that turn me off? If it'd turn anyone off, it'd be her? Shit would she just say it already?! She only made this feeling of dread worse by sitting down. Something about her fiddling around with shit in the kitchen was comforting, but her sitting down just made it feel heavy in here. The air had gone thick...

All this time? Since tonight? Or since... What the fuck? Then she had to go and bring up fucking Peyton, which that made me feel fucking weird and uncomfortable anyway. And then she spoke so... Like it was a matter of fact. There wasn't doubt in her voice when she said it. Maybe unease, yeah, but there wasn't doubt. Like she really had reason to believe what she was telling me was true. I was beginning to feel angry, for a million reasons, and every single one of them made me a hypocrite but I couldn't help it. I was about to grit my teeth and tell her she wasn't banished, despite my anger, but she kept going... And going...

You're kidding. Why was I mad exactly? Because she was a detective, but she was also a wolf, and she needed to learn when she needed to be one or the other. And right now, this situation called for her being a wolf, and it had since... Since whenever she first knew about this. It was a wolf problem, and wolf problems needed to come to me for fucks sake. That should have been the real reason, and that's exactly what I should feel comfortable telling her, but I wasn't for one reason... Was she going to name me? Was she calling me out? How did she know? How long? How long have you known, what do you know, get it out now while you can. I spoke quickly, but firmly. Despite the tension in my face, I was trying to keep it together. I was trying not to freak the fuck out. Everything Sthira. I need to know everything. I said as I got up out of my chair and started looking through her cupboards for any sign of Jack. Finally stopping after a moment of searching to lean up against the counter and place my hands over my face with a very deep fucking breath, trying to calm down.

My hands finally slid down and I crossed my arms, removing my beanie to run my hands over my hair and placed it back on my head. I shoved my hands into my pockets, for once finding a place they could stay still as I looked at her. Him? You know who it is?! Did that mean I was in the clear? For now at least? If it did, then why was I still so fucking uneasy, why was I still so fucking angry?

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:57 am

I frowned at Vincent, finding it only easier to withhold from my desires after his explanation. It explained a lot.. but it just left me feeling sad for him. That's my mothers hot chocolate recipe and don't even try denying that you like it just as much as anyone else does. It's a very soothing beverage and I know you like it. I said at first, having felt insulted at the way he referred to it. My mom had made it whenever I was feeling ill as a child, and then whenever I felt down as an adolescent and even as an adult, if I were to go over there feeling stressed or tired she'd be turning on the stove and reaching for the saucepan. It never failed to make me feel better and I'd tried to share that with Vincent, though it seemed his troubles truly were too complicated to be solved by a hot chocolate, however well thought out its ingredients were. I took a little breath and set my gaze back on him, letting myself smile. I think the way we view life and sex is very.. different. I watched him curiously, I don't look for escape from any misery that finds me, I'm more interested in countering it, in doing the most and best I can to make misery minimal, for me and others. Escape doesn't come into it and it's that fight that gives me hope, that gives me strength, that gives me.. release. I definitely don't have a romanticized view of sex but it's not just a release to me, it's something more. I'd say spiritual but the word has connotations that don't fit. It's difficult to explain, apart from while sex gives you that release you want - I already have release and sex is just more on top of that for me. An indulgence maybe. I'd let my gaze roam around the room as I spoke, daydreaming about past experiences and feeling comfortably hazy just reminiscing about them, but my eyes snapped back to Vincent and my light tone changed to one of contemplation. I know we're all entitled to have our own views on whatever we please, but I think the way you view life, sex... you're missing out. I said simply, averting my gaze again.

You obviously see the consequences of sex as more simple than I do too, which is fair enough. Maybe they are more simple for you. But all I know is that I don't want to be like just any other wolf. I want to progress, I want to achieve roles, ranks, whatever I can. And when I achieve them, I want to know that nobody will be able to stand up and say I was given them for any other reason than because I deserved them with any justification behind those claims, because if they could then it would just be a disservice to me and disrespectful to you. You must have heard some of the claims certain members of the pack have spread around about your granting of rank. And yes, people might claim things regardless of whether there was a reason, but I'd want to know personally that there was no truth in what they were saying, no matter what anyone else thought. So while I want to help you and while I don't not want to help you in that way, it's more complicated than I think you think. I'm not putting myself on some pedestal. It's simply about personal integrity. If you're set on distracting yourself from everything with sex though, I could always teleport you to another wolf's house instead. I glanced to Vincent, And no, before you ask -  I don't have an in depth discussion like this with everyone that propositions me. Everyone isn't my alpha.

-

I should have been trembling with trepidation or crying from things lost but strangely enough, I wasn't. I felt unusually calm - not un-affacted, but not getting worked up over it either. Yes, I was scared, yes I was nervous of the way Onyx was reacting, the anger rolling off of him in waves, but I'd already accepted the possible consequences of what might happen to me beyond that fear. What was going to happen, would happen. I'd done the most difficult task of actually telling and if anything, it only felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I clasped my hands in my lap and closed my eyes, getting my thoughts in order before I started speaking.

You told me once the equivalent of that sometimes, there is no easy or right choice. You have to choose between two horrible ones. And I didn't realise what you meant at the time.. not until this happened.

It started back when I was a human, except I had no idea what it was back then. I saw a wolf in the forest when going to inspect a destroyed campsite, just a glimpse. It was the same wolf I was looking for the night you scratched me. When I saw him... I saw a human first, and I didn't know what it was, but I was sure it was the same person. It seemed.. insane at the time.

The human I saw, the one I thought had morphed into that wolf, was the reason I came to Index. His name is Somansh, Sam, he's a private detective. I came looking for him after he seemed to have disappeared and I felt something was wrong. He'd never disappear without saying something unless something was wrong. I thought it might have just been a dangerous case then. I didn't know what he was then, I couldn't have begun to imagine... Even after I was turned I wondered if I was just making it up, some side effect of being turned, or wishful thinking...

But a few months ago I was out in the forest, just scouting the perimeter as no other wolves thought it important enough to do, when I... I found a body of a wolf. A pack wolf. There wasn't much left of it but it was fresh with the scent of another wolf. I knew who's scent it was immediately. There was no mistaking it - it was Sam's.

You have to understand, I didn't know what to do! This was just after I'd been turned, after you'd banished that wolf that had stood up to you and I didn't fully understand everything myself at that point, and yet I had to make this horrible decision. I had to choose between Sam and the pack. I saw the pack as family even back then, but you have to understand, Sam is my family too. He's like a brother to me. I've known him ever since I can remember. I felt sure if I told the pack what happened then they'd want to avenge the wolf's death, that the anger would take over and everyone would want to find Sam and kill him, and I felt even more sure that something was wrong with Sam and the death wasn't completely his fault. He was never like that. I knew there was a risk that if I didn't say or do anything then it might happen again, that I might be putting the pack in danger, but I couldn't decide between them. I couldn't make that decision! Maybe it makes me weak, but I couldn't. And I stupidly thought there was another option. I thought I'd be able to solve it myself, that if only I could try and stop Sam then I could get him the help he needed and no-one else would have to get hurt, and no-one would have to know. I felt so guilty about that young wolf's body, but I just didn't want to cause any more pain and it wasn't as if I could help him. He was already... dead.

I hid the body and started trying to stop anything more happening. I put out bulletins warnings people away from the forest, I took all the scouting positions I could and spent all my time trying to find Sam, wolf or human. But.. I couldn't do it. I haven't even caught sight of him again, just a faint scent in the forest sometimes. I've searched everywhere in Index for where he's living and come up with nothing. He hasn't used his credit cards, his phone, his bank, nothing... and then more bodies started disappearing too, humans and wolves, and some mauled remains were found. There was no scent on it, but I just knew, felt in my heart that Sam was behind it. Every time there was a new report I thought I might have one last chance, that there might be some evidence or clue that could lead me to him. And every time I would think about telling you, about coming clean, but I just kept thinking.. another week, just another week and I could do it myself. I know that if I could just find him then I'd be able to help, that if anyone could get through to him then it would be me, I know that something must be wrong and making him act like this, but none of that mattered. I can't find him! I... couldn't find him. I failed.


Another tear rolled down my cheek, dripping onto my sweater. The silence filled in around me with only my slight sniffling to be heard. I hadn't cried. I hadn't let myself, hadn't sobbed or convulsed or even let myself get that emotional but talking and thinking about Sam had still led to tears rolling down my cheeks as I spoke. I couldn't stop them and didn't even bother to wipe them away. They weren't tears for myself. They were for the wolf that had died, for the wolves that had disappeared, for Sam. I sat, cheeks wet and head low but set, waiting for Onyx's judgement over me.

I understand if you want to banish me, if you want to.. kill me. I shouldn't have kept it from you. But.. just, please, I glanced upwards, seeking out Onyx's eyes with my wet ones, Don't make him suffer. Anything anyone wants to do to him, have them do it to me instead. If there was even the slightest thing I could try and do to relieve any pain from Sam and the pack, it was that.

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