setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
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 [Private] Fucking Fangers - Page 3

[Private] Fucking Fangers

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Mon Sep 14, 2015 2:11 pm

It wasn't denial.

I still believed that. Everything that word represented, everything it meant, to me, none of it fit the situation. But I couldn't deny there was something going on, something in that category. Was she getting to me? Maybe it wasn't denial... But was it avoidance? We had gone from me turning myself inside out and baring my insides to her in the forest... To an endless conversation about sex. I'd barely even given her a chance to process... Or ask questions... Or hell even react before I'd jumped into this topic. A topic that could have possibly been sparked by some subconscious desire to avoid.

Even when she brought up hot chocolate, I felt this urge inside of me to talk about it. To fill the space between us with meaningless conversation about a fucking beverage. As if the more I talked, the more likely it was I could erase history and take back everything I'd told her. The more I talked, the more likely it was she'd focus on conversations about sex and drinks and maybe if I was lucky, everything I'd told her would be forgotten. But that wasn't how this worked. I'd dropped the land mine in the forest when I opened my mouth, and now, no matter how much I hated it, I had no choice but to wait for it to explode. I did that, I brought it on myself, and no amount of meaningless conversation was going to undo that.

I do but that's not the point. I admitted, but what was the point anymore? It'd been lost in the endless discussion of sex, I didn't even know what I was point I was trying to get across anymore. I wanted to open my mouth to say more, but I bit my bottom lip. I couldn't let her be right, it wasn't denial, I'd said that, I'd thought it a million times, but avoidance was no better. I couldn't let her be right about that. And the only way to prove her wrong, was to face the problem head on. Not put a blanket over it and pretend it never happened.

Maybe you just haven't fought a battle that couldn't be won. I muttered, but no matter how quietly I said it, it was still a loaded statement. It was a bold and most likely inaccurate assumption. An excuse, one that put her experiences in life and personal strength down, even if that wasn't what I wanted to do. It didn't matter, because I'd said it. Yeah, I did feel like I was fighting a losing battle. I was no hero. As I'd said in the past, I wasn't the little Alpha that could. I wasn't going to die and have my name written in the wolf history books as the Alpha that defeated the fucking mother of dragons. But was that any reason to give up? Just because I knew the outcome of my situation, was that a reason to just stop fighting as hard as I possibly could? And even more important, did that make me weak?

Sex to me means nothing to me. Arranged marriages will do that to you. I muttered again, but her voice had me feeling more and more defeated. I used to be like her. I used to be just like her. The Onyx that declared war on vampires, that was the version of me that probably could have sat down, had a drink with Sthira, and talked for hours, and discovered how much we had in common. But the timing was off. I needed that version of me now, and I needed her then. This life, this situation, this fucked up situation had turned me into something else. Where the fuck did my hope go? And the bigger question... Why did I now feel hope was for the weak? Why did I view hope and headstrong determination to fight a losing battle a trait for the ignorant?

I could relate to everything she'd said, and I respected her views, but the old me was gone. So I didn't agree with a single word. I just looked at her, only for a brief second before making my eyes focus on the table in front of me. I hated this, it wasn't like me to avoid eye contact so long. It probably looked weak, and it sure as fuck felt weak, but I had no idea how to counter anything she'd just said. I wouldn't say she was right... But it sure as fuck felt like it.



When she finally opened her mouth, a strange feeling came over me. The urge to smile. In the present, we were nothing alike. We couldn't be more different if we tried. But there was an ironic similarity, a meaningless one that made me want to forget everything I'd told her, and everything she was about to say, and just laugh over the fact that when I'd opened my mouth in the forest, when I'd finally spit out everything I wanted to say, it never ended. I talked for days, just as she was doing now.

But that urge to smile faded the more she spoke. I wanted to be angry with her. For keeping a murderer secret, but once again, one of those ironic similarities came flooding in. Only this time, this similarity didn't make me want to smile, it made me angry. Isn't that exactly what I'd done? I couldn't let any of that matter. Hypocrite or not, I needed to focus. And I did, on every fucking word. I stayed silent, wanting to speak up after every word she spoke but I bit my tongue and waited for her to finish. I felt angry throughout her speech, pissed off, absolutely fucking raging mad... But I also felt like I could relate. I was dealing with two very conflicting emotions, with a hypocrisy cherry on top and I didn't know how to even fucking respond when she finished.

I'm not banishing you. I said through clenched teeth. For once I was looking at her, and I was staring so hard at her I was sure I was going to burn a hole in her skull. You had the wrong impression of me in the beginning, I banished that wolf as a lesson, and even after he turned me into a human punching bag, I let him stay a part of this family. But that's not the point... I moved over and sat back down in my chair. My body leaned back and I took in a deep breath of air and exhaled slowly, trying to just... Fucking process everything she'd just told me. This was big, really fucking big, and once again, one of those ironic similarities reared it's ugly head. I was stuck in between two wrong choices.

I could either pretend everything was okay, help her solve this problem, and deal with the consequences. People would find out, I had enough secrets as it was. Or, I could punish her, which didn't feel right considering how much I related to what she'd just told me. I didn't fucking know what to do... The pack comes first, always. I understand this man might have been important to you before, and I'm not trying to say he isn't just as important now, but the pack has to come first. If we don't have each other's backs, and we don't work together, then when really big threats start coming in, and they already are, we won't know who to trust. We have to stand together. We have to know we have each other. So that was your first mistake. I know it's hard, but this man is clearly a part of another pack, or a lone wolf, neither mean anything good. And the fact that he has murdered, and you suspect he's murdered more? That makes him just as bad as a vampire, in my eyes, and everyone else's eyes. It doesn't matter if you knew him before, or you don't believe it, the fact is, he is murdering, and he needs to be stopped. We don't kill our kind, but we also can't accept threats. This situation fucking sucks, obviously. But you should have told me sooner. What about the body you hid? What about the family it belonged to? Don't they deserve a proper burial? Don't they deserve to have their worries put to rest? What about their pain? He means a great deal to you, I understand that, but at some point you have to choose, because you can't have both. Maybe there would have been a chance if he hadn't murdered, but he has.

I took another deep breath, instantly feeling guilty. I believed everything I'd said, but I also felt it was wrong at the same time, because of the things I'd done. Because of my crimes against my kind. It was the right thing to say, if it'd come from an honest man... I got up from my seat one last time and made my way to the bathroom for some tissue, and brought it back. Because I had to wonder, what if this was someone I cared about? What if my father was still alive and by some freak coincidence, he was this Sam person, wouldn't I do exactly what she'd done?

I passed her the tissue and scooted in. If I say I'll help you, then I'm a part of the problem. Then I'm the traitor too, then I give the pack more reasons to hate me, to destroy my property, to lose faith in me. But if I don't, then I'm a hypocrite. You said you'd help me, and I owe you one in return. I'm not happy about this, and if you were anyone else, and we were in any other situation, I'd already be on the phone to our warlords and telling them about the problem. You'd already be awaiting your punishment. But I can't do that because as much as it's right for the pack, I don't feel it's right for me, or for you. And it's fucking selfish and I fucking hate it, but if I'm going to help you, no one can know, and we need to fix this problem as soon as possible. No putting it off, no worrying about work first. We're lucky that this hasn't caught the attention of everyone yet, but it will and that is why we need to do this as cleanly, quietly, and fast as possible...

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:10 am

I gave a small shrug. While usually I'd have fought for a conversation such as that one my energy levels felt depleted and it was only taking more from me. I felt I at least owed Vincent some kind of answer though, even if it wasn't as passionate or as spirited as it usually would have been. I don't go into things thinking I'm going to win. I just try my hardest. Maybe one day I will come across a battle or something I can't defeat, but it's not going to mean I stop trying. The way I said it made it sound so simply when it was anything but that. My actions in the last few months only proved that at times you were your own worst enemy, your own downfall. You could know everything by the book but that wouldn't stop some crazy, unimaginable scenario popping up out of nowhere and smashing everything you thought to be true into oblivion, rendering most of what you knew useless.

Yes... it's not the best arrangement. I'm sorry. I don't know what it's like exactly, but I'm no stranger to it either. You don't want to know how many doctors or lawyers my parents attempted to set me up with. Parents choosing you suitor was common in my culture but at least I'd been able to escape that. Vincent didn't seem to have a choice. But.. at least you have some scope within the arrangement? You're not expected to be monogamous or play happy families. And it doesn't mean sex can't mean something to you personally. I'm not saying you need some soulmate to be able to feel it and I don't believe in 'true love'. It's a personal thing. You just need to give yourself a chance. I glanced at Vincent. He just seemed so hopeless, and not in an endearing way. He literally seemed like he was without hope sometimes. It made me wonder what had happened to him for him to feel like that. I'm not going to sugar coat it because you're the one living it, you obviously know how horrible it is. But.. you can still make the most out of a bad situation? And things are changing. The way some wolves are talking they always thought a female warlord was an impossibility - but now it's happened. It takes time but change can come, even to wolves. So.. you never know. Things might seem one way now but it doesn't mean they always have to be like that? I said, carefully, trying to motivate Vincent to find hope in something again but not wishing to give him false hope. Whatever happens, I think what you're doing now is amazing. Some of the pack might not see that, you might not see that, but even as a newcomer I can see you've made changes and they're for the better.


-

He wasn't banishing me? I looked up to Vincent, my eyes big and wide with shock. I'd been so sure I would be banished or worse that it left me feeling a little empty. You're.. really? I wiped at my cheeks, blinking my wet, sticky lashes. Thank you... thank you for giving me another chance. And I didn't think you were going to banish me because you're harsh... but that I deserved it for what I was doing.

I watched Vincent take it all in, grateful but still nervous that he might suddenly realise the magnitude of what I'd done and change his mind. I wouldn't blame him but I hoped he wouldn't. More than anything I only wanted a chance to make things right.

The pack comes first. I said gently with my head down, nodding in agreement. I winced when Vincent mentioned the wolf I'd found. That scene had replayed over and over in my mind so much since it had happened. The body... there wasn't much of it left. I know it doesn't make it any better and it's not up to me to choose... but I think the family might be better off not having seen it. There won't be anything left of it now anyway. But I know... that doesn't make anything better. That's what I've kept thinking about, the people affected, the victims, the families. I just never thought it would get so bad. A few more tears rolled down my cheeks and I brushed them away, embarrassed.


When Vincent got up and walked away I wasn't sure he'd come back. I closed my eyes, thinking over all the things I'd done, what I could have done differently, still trying so hard to make sense of what had happened, but the information I had didn't fit together like it should. I opened my eyes to the sound of Vincent returning, still feeling on tenterhooks. My body stayed rigid, waiting for a sentence that might not come, but might, just waiting nonetheless. I was left surprised when Vincent handed me a piece of tissue, staring at it as if it was an alien. Oh, I let out, looking from the tissue to him, thank you. I hastily did my best to wipe my cheeks without further irritating how sore they already felt. I nodded, listening, still in awe that I was getting a chance I didn't expect and didn't deserve. Vincent was a better leader than he thought, on a personal level at least.

Okay. If you're sure. You don't have to do this for me but if you're really willing to, I'll do all I can to help. I can tell you everything I know, even if it's not much so we can put a stop to what's been happening. I folded the tissue over and placed it on the table, taking in a deep breath. But.. the pack comes first. I repeated the phrase again and glanced to Vincent. Even if you're going to do it this way, the pack needs to come first, doesn't it? We need to stop anyone else getting hurt whatever happens. There must be some way we can stop wolves going into the forest, or at least going there on their own. If not because of Sam or whatever's committing these crimes then because of vampires.. The girl I'd seen earlier and Vincent's words from the forest came back to my mind, making me close my eyes at just how much danger there was and how much to deal with. If it came to it and you had to tell the pack about Sam, I understand that, I accept it, if that's what needed to happen. But at the same time, maybe it's best that they aren't told. I can only imagine the riot that would happen... the potential distraction for vampires, so many wolves hurtling about the forest in a rage. It could cause more harm than good. I said, quietly. It wasn't just for the convenience that I preferred the idea of not telling, I honestly believed it could be better for the pack if we pulled it off properly. But first things first.. should be making sure no-one else gets hurt. And then figuring out the rest of the mess.

I got up, shakily, leaning on Vincent's shoulder as I walked. It felt like all my strength had been drained out of me. Maybe some caffeine in the hot chocolate would be a good idea. I'm sorry I don't have anything stronger. I said as I set the pan on the stove and started collecting the things I needed. I took out a cafetiere and a bad of rich coffee beans. I needed to do something, to be active. Even as I moved about I was starting to feel stronger and more focused. My mind started working properly again, piecing things together and putting things into perspective. You know.. there's so much I don't understand about it. If there are vampires turning up in the woods, why haven't they just eaten Sam? I'm not saying I want it to happen, but why hasn't it? And just... why would a wolf kill it's own kind? Even a lone wolf, they don't usually do that, do they? They'd be more likely to go out and ravage on witches or warlocks.. not other wolves... I shook my head, taking another deep breath to still all the thoughts in my mind. I'd been trying to make sense of it for months and only failed. I just can't make sense of it! Even knowing more about things that are going on -  it somehow makes less sense! I stopped again, stirring some milk on the stove before leaving it a second. I was getting too emotional again. Perhaps that was the problem with this entire ordeal. I'm sure you'll be able to shed some light on it though. It'll probably be something obvious, something so easy to notice that I've overlooked because of my stupid emotional involvement.

I left the milk to simmer on a low heat and joined Vincent back at the table. You don't know how appreciative I am about all of this. Thank you.. even if I can't thank you enough. And I meant what I said earlier. It doesn't hinge on whether you help me. I want to help you, I want to put the pack first, I want to do the right thing. I'm not too proud to admit that I might just need some guidance on how. But whether you still punish me in some way or not, I'll do anything I can to help you with whatever you need. I set my hand on Vincent's arm, meeting his eyes without any of the dramatic emotion I'd shown earlier, just sincere determination.

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Thu Sep 24, 2015 3:46 pm

I didn't know what I thought, felt, wanted, or fucking needed anymore. I could admit it, she'd impressed me in the past, but today she had me feeling a shit load of discomfort. With the crying and the way she could be so headstrong and determined, then back to the crying and the... The niceness. My idea of nice was far fucking different from hers. Being nice to me was passing me a bottle and talking about something else, anything else. Being nice to me was knowing shit was fucked up but giving me an escape by not talking about it. Thank yous and promises to help were fine, but they didn't take my mind off of the fact that I knew it didn't matter what we did, we weren't going to win this fight. Thank yous and promises to help didn't change the fact that not only were vampires our worst enemy, but wolves could be too. Yeah, I'd just revealed a fuck load to her, and she'd revealed a fuck load to me, but I already wanted the conversation to end. I already wanted to ignore the elephant in the room because all of this was making me feel physically sick.

That was hardly the same thing. Her parents tried to set her up with men that had good jobs? Emphasis on tried. In the end, she still had a choice. And as much as I'd come to terms with the fact that I didn't, it still pissed me off whenever the topic was brought up, even if I was the one to bring it up. I've come to terms with it. It is what it is. I'd hardly have time for a choice even if I could choose anyway. It doesn't matter. I didn't mean for the statement to come off so... I didn't know... All I knew was I was just speaking. I wasn't searching for sympathy. Even if what she'd said twisted up my insides. The old me did want a family. The old me did want to find someone to have that family with. Was it so fucking lame of me to want a son with someone that I chose? Now I was expected to fuel a baby factory, and no doubt I'd grow to hate any kids I had with my spiritual leader. She was a great Spiritual Leader, but she wasn't my fucking choice. She was my burden.

Fine, I get it. I think the bottom line is, we are two very different people. I haven't given up on everything. But I do have the balls to admit when some things just can't be changed. All you do is set yourself up for disappointment if you keep pushing against a brick wall, hoping that it'll move. It's wasted energy to put so much effort into things that will never change. But like I said, I haven't given up on everything, I've just accepted the things that can't be changed. That was it. She may be willing to walk blindly into a slaughter, but I wasn't. It was that simple. We were very, very different people.



I can't banish wolves for doing things that I myself would do. If I want to make this pack better, I can't build it up off of a foundation of hypocrisy. I admitted. I think the real problem was obvious. I knew she needed to be punished for what she did, but I was hesitant because I myself had committed far worse crimes and had yet to face judgement. And I wasn't even sure I ever would face judgement for my crimes. The problem was obvious... I needed to change. If I knew what she did was wrong, but felt guilty for punishing her because of my own crimes, then I needed to change. I needed to stop committing those crimes. I needed to be good. And that was the hardest fucking thing to be. It'd be easier for me to quit smoking than it would be to change myself. And the worst part of it all, I didn't know if I was making the right choices or not. How can you be good when you don't know the difference between right and wrong?

I nodded my head, the pack comes first. Four words that I'd been repeating to myself since day one, but had, had no impact. Repeating it didn't make it true. Repeating it didn't mean I'd done it. I could only hope she would. Trying to put the pack first meant nothing, actually doing it meant everything. Well you know now. My words were bitter. It would have been so much easier if she'd realized how bad this was sooner. If she'd just come to me sooner. This needed to be solved, and soon. I had enough shit to deal with, I couldn't deal with the anxiety of this problem forever. Constantly wondering if the pack would find out. Constantly feeling paranoid that it could be used against me, or anyone else. Blackmail was something I was all too familiar with, and it was definitely something I wanted to avoid...



We're going to solve this, together. Maybe it's something we can actually fucking do, and solving a problem for a change would be good for my fucking sanity if I'm honest. But don't misunderstand me, I don't take this lightly. The problem now is... If I don't punish you and wolves find out about what happened, or if it happens again, then I'm screwed. But if I punish you, people are going to want to know why... My voice trailed off as the more she spoke, the more she was fueling an idea... We can blame it on vampires. Any tension in my face was gone, and I was just looking at her as the thought was forming in my mind. No one has to go without funerals, people can say their goodbyes, people will avoid the forest, people will train. Your... Stray will go unharmed until we can get to him and take care of his situation. You will get your one free pass and avoid punishment for hiding this secret. It will solve everything. The idea was already cemented in my mind. It was what I was going to do. It was what we were going to do.

It was obvious she cared for this stray. And the more she spoke, the more I wondered where her heart was really aligned. I have to know though... You've said the pack comes first, the pack is family, but so is this friend of yours? If it came down to it, would you do what needs to be done? Maybe you didn't know the wolf you found. They were a part of this pack, but I can accept that maybe they were still a stranger to you... But what if it was Ghost? What if it was Oveyx? What if it was me? Would you be able to make the right choice? Would you be able to put him down to spare the lives of your pack? I'm not saying that's what it'll come to, but I think it's something important that you need to think about. Because while I respect that this wolf means something to you, I'm not going to lie to you. I won't hesitate to put him down if I'm faced with that choice. This pack may hate me, they may piss me the fuck off, but they are mine, and I am theirs, and I will put their safety first. I may have made a lot of mistakes in my time as alpha, but that's one thing I've always done, it's one thing I've always tried to do, to put their safety first. I just need to know if you are willing to do that too, even if it means saying goodbye to this wolf.

The question was a heavy one. If I was faced with that choice, between Peyton, or Orion, and the pack, would I make the right choice? Even I didn't know if I was strong enough to answer that, because again, I still didn't know what was wrong and what was right. It was a horrible choice to make, and I hated that I had to ask her, but unfortunately, that's the position we were in right now. I needed to know I had her, that she was on my side, the packs side. She could say it until she was blue in the face, but the truth would come out. We would find this wolf, and her choice would be obvious. Something told me it wasn't going to be as easy as questioning him. Something told me it wasn't going to be a calm meeting...

You should probably pick up some Jack next time you do your shopping. If we're going to be working together on this problem, and I'm going to be spending more time here, as much as your mothers hot chocolate might be good, I'm going to need something a bit stronger... I leaned back in my chair, trying to relax but the tension in my mind was spreading throughout my body. There wasn't going to be much comfort tonight, and there sure as hell wasn't going to be much sleep either. My mind couldn't even process everything. It was just swarming with fear and regret, nothing more.

I don't have an answer for that either. The vampires that head to the woods are obviously going there to find a wolf, there's no other reason to go there unless they're heading to the east woods where the witches and warlocks tend to dwell. But I don't know, I guess we'll find out when we catch him. I wanted to have an answer for her, hell, I wanted to have an answer for me but I didn't even know where to begin. There's no explanation because there are so many explanations. There's no way to choose which one is the right one. We had a stray before, we've had a few actually but... This one was different than the others. She refused to join our ranks, but everything she said and did implied that she wanted to help us. It made no sense, and when push came to shove, she disappeared. Maybe this is all connected to her? I don't fucking know... None of it makes sense to me either... It was strange how Luxx just disappeared... And the more I thought about it, the more it made sense that her disappearance would come around again, that it'd all be explained eventually. Maybe this wolf was a part of her pack? Maybe that's why he was targeting wolves from our pack, because he's searching for her? It made sense, but it also raised more questions...

Your punishment is helping me. Trust me. It's not like you're just lending me your lawn mower or doing some other insignificant favor. If you're helping me, then you're putting your life on the line. And you need to know that because I wouldn't feel right if I let you help me without knowing just how much you could lose.

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Mon Sep 28, 2015 5:11 am

I nodded, a small, regretful nod, but an agreement nonetheless. I can do it. I don't want to - to want to have to - and I know it won't be easy, but if it's what has to be done... it has to be done. I know that there might not be a nice way out of this, but trust me.. if I had to kill Sam to stop him hurting any more people, pack or otherwise, if it came to that, I'd do it. I nodded again and looked down at my hands, facing that bleak truth. I didn't know how I'd cope if I ever had to do it, but the alternative was so much worse. If that was what we had to do, I couldn't just stand back and let him continue whatever's happening.  I don't just owe it to the pack, I owe it to him.. to what he used to be.

Our drinks were done and even though I no longer felt thirsty or able to stomach anything sweet, I dutifully got up and prepared Vincent's for him. I set the mug in front of him and lingered by his side, watching with scrutiny. I might not have any hard alcohol but there were other ways to relax.

It could be so many things.. but I'm sorry, I don't think I'm going to be much help right now, or that either of us will be able to get anywhere without some rest. I can hardly think straight. I glanced to Vincent with a small smile. Sometimes I wondered if people forgot what I did for a living, or just didn't think of the implications of it. I wasn't some pencil-pusher down at the station. I'm no stranger to putting my life on the line, but.. if there's any cause for me to do it, I don't think there's one as important as this. The way I see it, with what you've told me.. there's more to lose if I don't help. I squeezed at his shoulder slightly and my thoughts from earlier returned. I might not have any Jack but there are other ways to relax.

I walked out of the kitchen, padding through to my bedroom and over to a dresser, pulling a bag out of a neatly organised drawer, knowing exactly what I was looking for. I carried it back through to the kitchen and set it down on the table, undoing the drawstring and withdrawing a few bottles of massage oil, choosing one that was the least 'feminine' scented and placing the others back in the bag. I turned the bottle over in my hands. He might turn his nose up at it too but I couldn't help feeling partially responsible for the tenseness so visible in Vincent's muscles, the tired but erratic look in his eyes. He really hadn't needed more on his plate and more importantly, neither of us were going to be useful if we couldn't sleep and be refreshed enough to try and untangle to messes we'd become tied up in. I set down the bottle and eased off my sweater so I wouldn't get oil on it.

Take your shirt off. I ordered softly, popping open the bottle's cap and walking behind Vincent, ready to smile but ignore whatever remark he might come up with. Or hold it up if that's easier.

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Re: [Private] Fucking Fangers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Thu Oct 01, 2015 2:40 am

I hope it doesn't come to that. I admitted. Not knowing if I could make that decision made asking the question harder than it should have been. And I meant what I said. I really did hope it didn't come to that. But this was the real world, and there was a very real chance it would. I'd heard of wolves attacking other wolves before, I'd even heard of them fighting or even killing one another. But from the way she talked about this man made it seem like it wasn't like him to kill our kind. I didn't know for sure, but it just stunk of trouble. Every bit of it. Was there something more to it? And you owe it to yourself. Intent or not, his actions have clearly put you in a fucked situation. And I know, in a situation like this, intent can mean a lot. But that doesn't make any of this fair. I was speaking for her, and for myself.

It felt like it'd taken forever for her to finish preparing this drink. It hadn't been that long, I knew it. But we'd talked about so much, it felt like we'd shared a lifetime of information. And by the time the cup was placed in front of me, I was so thirsty from all of my damn talking I couldn't even say thank you, all I managed was a thankful nod before bringing the cup to my mouth. And yeah, it was stupid, I burnt my fucking tongue but damn it was fucking good. Not a word to anyone about this. You know what kinda shit I'd get if people knew I liked drinking fucking cocoa, more specifically, your cocoa? Fuck it even sounded gay...

I just, I don't want to worry about it right now. You're right, we need rest... And time... And information... And maybe even a fucking miracle... I clearly didn't learn from the last drink, because I was already bringing the cup back to my mouth for another scorcher. And this one burned like a mother fucker, but tasted even better than the last. Jesus Christ I hated my fucking taste buds for enjoying this shit so much...

I didn't believe her, and maybe that was fucked up. So yeah, I believed the first part. She had told me she was a detective so putting her life on the line did make sense. But the rest felt like bullshit to me. My situation, myself, none of this was a cause worth fighting for. I saw it in Peyton's eyes everytime I saw her, even if she thought she was hiding it. I was a weight, my problems were a burden that she shared, but she didn't want to. I knew she didn't. And I had no doubt this one was any different. Saying what she said was a lot different than meaning it. Than actually doing it. Saying what she said was easier than doing it and not asking for a reward after. People just didn't do fucking favors for each other without something in return. That wasn't how the world worked.

I hadn't even realized she disappeared, but I remembered her saying something about relaxing. If she was going to bed then fine, I'd be sleeping on her couch because without her around to teleport me home, as much as I fucking hated the ride, there was no way I was gonna walk my ass home. Not now. Not after the shit storm of tonight.

I took another drink, this time being cautious and taking a sip rather than a big throat scorching gulp. But when she returned with, whatever the fuck she had... She was taking off her fucking sweater, holding this bottle of fuck knows what, and ordering me take my shirt off. I just looked at her, wondering if she meant pants, or maybe she liked to undo those? I mean shit we'd talked about it but she made it clear her panties were on fucking lock down tonight and I'd accepted that. My wide eyes stayed as I set the cup down so I could remove my shirt. What uh- Well how the fuck do you ask someone if you were gonna have sex? It was less awkward when it just happened. What are you-we, what are we... Doing? I stared curiously at the bottle in her hand, then back to her eyes. Fuck maybe we weren't gonna fuck at all. Maybe this was some trap, some trick. Jesus Christ I hated not knowing...

When she moved behind me I just stared blankly ahead. I had no fucking clue what was going on anymore...

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