setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

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rules
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 [Private] Wine Coolers - Page 5

[Private] Wine Coolers

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Arden Rowe | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Sat Sep 05, 2015 9:01 pm

When I finally finished talking, a strange silence engulfed the room, and I was looking at him but he wasn't looking back and I couldn't really get a read on his emotions. I wasn't sure if I'd pissed him off or if somehow I'd just pushed him so far that he was having some kind of breakdown. I could feel my heart beating, it was slightly faster than normal the feeling of absolute calm I'd felt earlier was replaced with a weird sense of trepidation. I didn't regret what I'd said, and I wasn't really even angry anymore as much as I didn't know how Onyx would respond and that made me kind of nervous. Images of Landon coming home to a trashed house flooded my mind, and it wasn't exactly a far-fetched idea.

But his eyes finally met mine, and they didn't look so angry anymore. And he finally spoke and it wasn't to tell me how "fucking out of line" I was or any of the other lines that I've heard before and expected to hear again. It was to ask a question, and not just a question but a question that made me think maybe he'd actually been listening to what I'd been saying and somehow I'd gotten through to him. But that couldn't be it. I mean half the reason I'd never liked Onyx was because of his refusal to listen, the way he hated asking for help and always acted like he was the victim because he was the alpha or whatever. I'd essentially just told him that and he wasn't even mad. I... I paused a moment to catch my breath, because now that we'd finally had this breakthrough I didn't want to mess things up. If Onyx really was going to listen to what I was going to say then I was going to need to dish out some serious wisdom - I wanted to channel some serious Yoda shit here.

I think there's a pretty good number who would turn tail and run. The pack's not perfect; we both know that. There are plenty of cowards who would say that it's not their problem, but there are a few - myself included - who would be willing to support you if you would just ask.

I watched Onyx as I listened to him, and for I once I felt like maybe we were in the same chapter. Maybe we weren't really on the exact same page, but before we'd been in different books and now at least we were a little closer to.. to I dunno, understanding? being able to work together? Not want to cause each other bodily harm every time we talked?

I don't disagree with everything that you're saying either. What Odin did was fucked up. I'm not trying to say that this is your fault or that I don't think that you're not trying your best. Honestly, I think that we're all a part of the problem. I guess, fuck, I don't really know... we're a pack of wolves. You're our alpha, I think that personal feelings aside, it's our job to support you. I can understand if you don't want to like, make some massive announcement letting all this shit out, but there have to be some wolves out there that can be trusted that you could at least tell some of the truth to?

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Mon Sep 07, 2015 6:07 pm

I wouldn't say she'd put me in my place. But for once, she made me see the other side. I couldn't even count on my left hand how many people had actually succeeded at accomplishing that, and fuck, feeling wrong was never a good feeling, but despite that, I was still impressed. Maybe that was just a result of my mind opening up to the other possibilities. Maybe I was just... More open because of what she had said. I disagreed with her on some points, of course I did, and I didn't think she'd ever agree with me on those specific problems because she was not alpha, she was not warlord, she was not spiritual leader, she simply couldn't, and to no fault of her own, she just couldn't fathom why we made the choices we did. But that didn't change the fact that she was right, some of my misery was brought on myself, because I carried it on my own, because I didn't unload or give the pack the facts they might need. I had my reasons for not telling them things, but as much as I felt obligated to keep things to myself, that was my choice. There was no denying that.

She had left me speechless, and in turn, I had left her the same. I hadn't expected our talk to end this way, but like I said before, I didn't know what I expected out of this. I had my ideas of how it would turn out, but I wasn't one hundred percent certain of any of them. But now? Now things felt... Cleaner. Like we'd just cleaned house and all of the garbage was put into a pile, right there for all eyes to see. We both saw the garbage for the garbage, but maybe that's why I felt so relieved. I had a clear understanding of why she felt the way she did, and she had a clear understanding of why I felt the way I did. Call it ''agree to disagree'' if you need to, regardless of what it was, there was something so freeing about it.

Running isn't what I fear. I'd take running over what I expect will happen. I wouldn't blame anyone for running, in fact, I'd understand, I'd-I'd... Fuck I don't know... She had me questioning everything now. The appeal of my words being heard by the pack was a luxury that was reeling me in the more I thought about what she'd said. I was doing the one thing no one else had helped me do, I was setting myself up for disappointment, and not just disappointment, but possible destruction. It was dangerous to go into anything blind, expecting all hell to break loose didn't change that. Expecting it, and it happening were two completely different things. One was caution, the other was... Death.

I don't. I quickly replied, I really don't, and it's not just that I don't want to make an announcement, I can't. Shit is too big for that, and I need to be able to hear people, and that would be impossible in a group setting. Even if... I slumped, sunk into my chair and just threw my head back. Why was I so tired? This conversation had literally taken everything out of me. Even if I don't want to hear what they have to say. - I won't pretend I haven't tried, but maybe my own reservations made me unclear. Maybe I've tried telling the wrong wolves, and even then, maybe I wasn't clear because I didn't want to be heard. I don't know... This is all just fucked.

I was tempted to reveal everything. But that little voice in the back of my head had my mouth paralyzed. She had admitted she didn't like me, and fuck that was fine, I wasn't here, in her home, talking to her because I wanted her to like me. I was talking to her as an alpha to his warrior. But the fact that she didn't like me had those reservations popping up. The consequences of telling someone, someone that clearly dislikes you your deepest darkest secret was not only dangerous, but entirely fucking plausible that your secret would soon be front page news on wolf weekly. Maybe I just need a little bit more time... To think shit over. - You mind if I crash here tonight? I joked, trying to remove that fucking doom and gloom cloud from over our heads. No, I wasn't going to spend the fucking night.

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Arden Rowe | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Mon Sep 07, 2015 6:35 pm

There was one more thing I needed to say before Onyx left. We both had a lot to think about. I'd realized that things were a million times more fucked up than I'd originally thought, and I had a feeling that I didn't even know the half of it. I never, never would have thought that I would talk things out with Onyx, and then be glad for it.

I nodded when Onyx spoke, even though he struggled to voice what he thought because I also felt like I wasn't entirely sure of what I thought and it was even more difficult to put what I did into words. Even with the freedom to speak plainly, it was difficult to find the words that explained thoughts that were born of years of experience. My identity influenced what I thought, and if there's anything I've learned, it's that identity is impossible to define.

The thing that I needed to say, it was something that Onyx wouldn't like. It wasn't that I was afraid of saying things that I didn't think Onyx would like, it was that we'd finally established some kind of weird truce that I was kind of afraid to test. It wasn't like we had a deep bond that prevented us from murdering each other just because we'd come to some kind of understanding.

Honestly? I think that part of your problem is that you don't listen. Whether you like it or not, you've been put into a position of leadership. Part of being a leader is listening. You suck at listening. Being alpha may give you the right not to listen, but it doesn't make it the right thing to do.

I appreciated his attempt at humor. I didn't think I'd ever really heard Onyx try to be funny, except maybe once or twice. I'll walk you to the door. I said with a slight smile to show that I had picked up on his joke.

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