setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
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 [Private] Wine Coolers - Page 4

[Private] Wine Coolers

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Tue Sep 01, 2015 7:24 pm

I wasn't trying to make her love me. I didn't need her kissing my feet and fainting from joy every time I entered a room. In fact, a part of me hoped she'd still glare at me in passing, or at least not react at all. I wouldn't know how to respond to a smile. There was a weird comfort in a mutual dislike, a comfort that I could actually settle into better than a mutual friendship. The friends I'd had, had been my friends since before the Lilith bullshit. Those friendships were easier to maintain because it was easier for me to step back into that old version of me. To laugh over beers and talk about that one time we got sloshed all that time ago. To pretend my life wasn't ruled by a vengeance that wasn't even my own.

I was hoping the scars would represent just a fraction of the darkness I spoke of. I was hoping seeing would, well... be believing. That was the only reason for showing her. So she could see, so she wasn't just left with what I'd said because fuck, like I said, I didn't trust her, so I'd be a fucking moron to believe she trusted me. I had to show to make any of what I'd said believable. I told you because I'm tired of being shit on. Fuck, if I could just make one of you see, then maybe I could...I don't know... Sleep at night? Ha, that was fucking hilarious. What was I hoping to accomplish? I'd asked myself that question so many times in the past ten fucking minutes that I didn't know which theory was the honest one. Or maybe I just didn't want to admit to the selfishness of it all.

The pack isn't going to help me. I thought back to what had happened when I told the other. The best thing I can do for them, is leave them in the dark. Let them, fuck, do what they're gonna do. If I tell them the truth about Odin, they won't fucking believe me. If I show them, it will destroy them. I don't want that, and maybe that's hard to believe but for once I don't want to be the one that said 'I told you so'. And unless you can reverse time and prevent Odin from turning me in the first place, there's nothing that can be done. It was a lie... Well a partial one. There was shit that I was trying to do to fix it, but she'd just get in the fucking way. She knew, and yeah, I still regretted saying anything, but she knew, and that was enough.

Because they worshiped him. They idolized and revered him. He was a fucking God, and yeah, maybe some might think referring to him that way is extreme, but it's fucking true. What do you do when you find out your entire belief system is a lie? The truth is a destructive power, and at this point, telling them anything would do more harm than good. They're not mentally strong enough yet to let him go. I don't know if they ever will be. You I just thought... Fuck I don't know, I just thought you had a good head on your shoulders. I shouldn't have said anything at all, I still regret it, but I wouldn't have if I didn't think you were smart enough to see past the unicorns and rainbows Odin' so fucking graciously laid out for us.

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Arden Rowe | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Tue Sep 01, 2015 9:44 pm

I felt this unsettling feeling of incredulity settling over me. Everything that had transpired in the past few hours was unbelievable and it just kept looping over and over in my mind. From the medium accusing me of being Onyx's downfall to him revealing a shitstorm that he'd been hiding and that I still couldn't quite comprehend.

I let out an odd sort of laugh and looked sharply at Onyx, You're tired of being shit on? The fuck does that even mean? Shitting on you is one of the great joys of my life, but I can assure you that I'm not your problem, no matter what you may believe. I mean, could he not see? In some ways, I felt bad for him. He was alone. I mean, it was his own fault, but he was still alone. He had chosen to shoulder it all himself and now he was trying to hold up the world alone, but I still didn't think it justified what he was doing.

Do you not see how ridiculous this all is? You're mad because Odin tricked the pack, but now you're doing the same. Continuing the charade. What did you expect that you were going to say, 'change your lifestyles completely and start training for reasons that I refuse to tell you and respect me even though all you ever see me do is complain about you' and they were going to jump on board because obviously they're the ones who are at fault because they don't treat you nice? What a fucking joke.

I could kind of see where he was coming from, more or less, but the way he was constantly talking about him and blaming him was beginning to get on my fucking nerves. Who gives a fuck about Odin? Who cares what he did? If you don't wanna fucking tell them what a fuckup he was, fine, don't. But if there's something in the world that can and will do to a wolf what it did to you, don't you think the pack might need to know that information? I get it, Odin's an asshole, but there's nothing anyone can do about that now so you need to get your ass out of the past and start thinking about moving forward, we're wolves. We have a whole fucking pack of supernatural creatures, is there really no way that the pack could at least try to fight this?

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Wed Sep 02, 2015 8:22 am

I took in a deep breath, feeling my temper flaring up but fighting so fucking hard to keep it in line. Yeah, she'd taken one thing I'd said completely the fucking wrong way, but that wasn't what pissed me off. It wasn't the fact that I'd actually complimented her and got nothing but sass in return. None of that was what set my temper off. What set me off was her complete and utter obliviousness to the facts, the facts that I had actually given everyone. Her complete obliviousness to the truth that had been known for quite some fucking time, which just proved that my main issue with these fucking wolves wasn't just some imaginary bullshit that I made up as an excuse. It just fucking proved, that everything I'd said about them, was true, and she was no fucking different. That my orders and explanations fell on deaf ears, because they were so fucking wrapped up disliking me for whatever fucking reason, that they simply didn't fucking hear a word I'd said in the past. Their own hatred made them deaf and dumb, they did that, they brought that on themselves.

I'll avoid making a comment about you being self absorbed, and just go ahead and let you know right now, I wasn't talking about you specifically. I'm tired of being shit on in general. But that's nice to hear, priorities and all. No repercussions, I'd promised that, and the obvious irritation and sarcasm in my voice didn't fucking count. Fuck, if she wanted to be a twat towards me all of the goddamned time, then great. That was fine and fucking dandy with me. But just because there weren't going to be any consequences this time, didn't mean next time she'd get away with it.

I'm not mad about Odin keeping secrets. As alpha, he had that fucking right. You're so fucking off base right now it's unbelievable. I'm mad at the kind of secrets he was keeping. He was working with fangers, he was betraying and slaughtering his own kind for personal fucking gain. I'm mad at that, I'm mad that I step into the den and I'm told I'll never match up to Odin the great and fucking powerful, when in reality, he was a fucking piece of shit and a fucking murderer. I started, finally getting up from my seat, unable to sit as rage filled my voice more and more. I stared her straight in her eyes and I could fucking feel the light in my eyes and the temptation to shift I was so fucking angry. I never once told any of you wolves to start training without telling you why. I never once did that so don't you dare fucking make up shit just to make a point. It doesn't work that fucking way, only facts fucking make points, and that is the biggest, filthiest fucking lie I've ever heard. I had my suspicions about Odin at the time, but never once did I think he deserved to be slaughtered in the manner he was, by a fucking fanger of all things. I was the one, among many fucking others that stood there and stared at his shredded fucking corpse. That is why we started training. That is what started all of these fucking changes, or has it slipped each and every one of your fucking minds that a fucking fanger slaughtered this packs alpha and sent it into fucking chaos?! That fangers are the ones that started this fucking war? Yeah, maybe information has come out about Odin that proved he was a piece of shit, but that's not fucking why we train. That's-That's not fucking why any of our changes have happened, it's because the night he was fucking murdered was the same night everyone's fucking heart broke, and it was the same fucking night vampires decided to make a statement, that they run this land. That's why we fucking train, because if an alpha can be slaughtered on a whim, there's no hope for the rest of you without training.

And for the record, what Odin did, and what I did, they are not the fucking same. Odin lied, betrayed, murdered, conspired with the ultimate fucking enemy and kept it from everyone, and used it to put on a mask and gain followers like some fucking twitter obsessed loser. I, I'm not keeping anything from anyone for personal fucking gain, because lord fucking knows, I could dump this on each and every fucking one of you and walk out. I'm still fucking here. I'm still fighting despite everything. So no, I'm not doing the same fucking thing he did. I was furious that she actually believed that. That she believed the information I'd acquired about Odin only a short time ago was the reason the changes in the pack had been made, even though those fucking changes had already been in place for years. That wasn't even fucking possible. Did I look like I had a fucking time machine up my ass?

And yeah, this mutt in particular did need to start showing me some respect. I was getting sick of her trying to act like she was so against me and everything I fucking stood for. When was the last time she did anything but run her god damend mouth? When was the last time she put her fucking life on the line to find a way to bring peace to someone, let alone an entire pack. She did nothing, she went fucking shopping for pussy beer and came home and ran her fucking mouth, that was it. That was all she fucking did, and she had the right to go on and on about fucking respect? About what was right? Action was right, doing something about what you fucking stand for was right, and the last I heard, she wasn't breaking any fucking rules to prove a point to me so she could fuck off for all I cared.

I care what fucking Odin did, that's who fucking cares. And what happened to me isn't going to happen to you or anyone else. I can fucking guarantee it, I cant' tell you how or why, but it isn't happening to anyone else. Fuck I wanted to convince her of it, I heard the desperation in my own voice. I knew it was true, I knew what happened to me wasn't going to happen to anyone else, but there was no way to prove it without telling her the real truth, the truth that could potentially make me rogue. I could be pushed out of my position and sentenced to the life of a lone wolf. I couldn't risk that, I just fucking couldn't. What happened to me isn't the problem with the pack right now. All I want is people to listen to me, to trust that I know what I'm doing, to train, not for me, fuck I don't want anyone to train for me, I want them to train for themselves. Because despite the fact that yeah, something big is happening, vampires are still a threat, and that should be enough. The fear of losing family or friends, or their own lives should be enough to make them want to train. And that's. That's it...

No. I... Fuck... Just nevermind. Just nevermind all of it.

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Arden Rowe | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:15 pm

I rolled my eyes at Onyx's anger. It was so typical of him to say that we should talk openly and then get mad when I gave my honest opinion. What happened to him saying that he wouldn't get pissed. If this wasn't pissed then he had to turn into the Hulk when he was really angry. My point wasn't that it's all about me, my point was that you need to chill the fuck out. I said it with as much fake-sweetness as I could muster and in as patronizing a way as was possible at that moment.

It's your choice not to tell the pack about Odin, and the fact that you don't measure up to the image of Odin you've led them to believe is a consequence of that choice. You made the choice, now it's time to deal with the consequences. He was staring at me with a fiery rage burning in his eyes, but I felt eerily calm. I stared back with a steely look. The fact that Odin died and that you used that as a reason to start training just made him into more of a martyr in the pack's eyes.

I was beginning to understand Onyx better now. He was suffering and he acted the way that he did because of that. I didn't agree with his decisions, but I understood them better, which was something. Fine, great. You're amazing, I thank you for the amazing sacrifice you've made. But, many of your complaints against the pack are of your own making. You don't want vampires to kill them? No shit. Vampires have been doing evil shit and will do evil shit forever. This goes beyond vampires, but you chose to hide that. You don't like that the pack loves Odin? Sucks. They love him because you lied to them. They don't think you measure up because you don't measure up to the idealized image of him that you've allowed them to believe.

It was clear that Onyx was almost fixated on what Odin had done. He said that he was protecting the pack from the truth, but he was the one that cared the most. Maybe the pack cared somewhat but Onyx had helped to make that happen and thus was responsible along with Odin for making the pack they way they were. I think that if you're not going to tell the pack what Odin did then you need to stop thinking about it yourself. The only one who has the power to change how they think is you and you've chosen not to use it. Accept it.

As for the training. Yeah. The pack should train. But I don't think the attack on Odin affected them as much as it did you, and I think the pack will always be guilty of thinking of themselves as superior to vampires.

I had one more thing to say, but I had a feeling he would hate it. I downed the rest of my drink and looked at him again, I know you hate being helped, but even if no one else is going to be tortured it seems like the pack should be helping you fight whatever it is. Being the alpha shouldn't mean you're alone.

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Re: [Private] Wine Coolers

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Thu Sep 03, 2015 7:55 pm

How many times had I been in this situation? Maybe it wasn't this exact situation, but arguing with wolves over politics had been one of my least favorite past times. Every time it'd happened I'd walked away just feeling fucking unheard. Every time it'd happened I'd walked away feeling like they just weren't seeing my fucking point, like they simply were incapable of understanding me and what I had to say. It was a fucked up feeling. Like trying to tell someone their relative had died but they just refused to believe it. That's what it felt like, every fucking time, and when I willingly entered this argument with her, I had no doubt in my mind it would end the same.



I was wrong.



Fuck I hated her sass, every bit of it. But the truth was, if she'd said any of this to me in any other way, I probably wouldn't have heard it. Yeah, I'd been fucking guilty of playing deaf myself, I could fucking admit it. But like I said, the way she said it had this feeling of dread rising up from my gut, the kind of feeling you get when you finally realize you're not right all of the damn time, and you start thinking about all of those times in the past when you made a complete fool out of yourself without knowing it, because you stood by your falsities... Because you believed withe every fucking bone in your body that you were in the right.

The more she spoke, the more my head fell. I'd gone from standing tall to sitting down, eyes focused intently on her as each word escaped her, each one a bullet, and I was the target. And just like the target I was, I absorbed every single one. I don't... I started, unsure of where I was even heading when I opened my mouth. I wanted to say something, I needed to say something. But the only things I could think to say were the same things I'd already said. I'd never been in this position before, I'd never just fucking... Ran out of things to say in response to prove my opponent wrong.

Maybe... I quickly reached for my drink and brought it to my mouth to take a sip, but one sip lead to another, and that one to yet another and before I knew it I was guzzling the liquid as my eyes darted around the room and my head was digging in the archives for something fresh to pull out and say. When the contents of my glass were gone, I was out of ways to stall. And I pulled the glass from my mouth and watched it as my hand slowly moved to place it onto the surface, knowing damn well the second it hit the surface I'd have better thought of something to say in return, because my time was up.

My eyes just met hers, and the silence in the room was pushing on me from every direction, and as a result, I was starting to feel like I was out of fucking air. Do you honestly, in your heart, do you really believe they would? I asked, and every ounce of rage had left my tone. It'd been replaced with genuine curiosity, and in turn, obvious defeat. I'd told myself since the very beginning that they wouldn't understand. I'd told myself from the very beginning that if I told them they would respond negatively. I'd never once thought the opposite could happen, because it felt like such a fucking off and unlikely chance. I sure as fuck didn't want to set myself up for disappointment.

I don't disagree by the way. It was better than admitting I'd have maybe been wrong on some points. Maybe... Fuck... I needed more liquid courage, or at least that's what I was telling myself because it felt like the temperature in this room and gone from a comfortable seventy to one-fifteen. I still stand by what I said, Odin has a lot to do with this, and I still don't think anyone else will get that. I have my reasons, some of them I told you, some of them I kept from you but. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm not a part of the problem. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, fuck maybe the pack is part of the problem too. Maybe we could all use some fucking guidance, I don't know... I just... I don't disagree with everything you've said...

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