setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
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 [Private] Not a Dick Pizza - Page 12

[Private] Not a Dick Pizza

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Re: [Private] Not a Dick Pizza

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Mon Jun 15, 2015 9:34 pm

Had they? I continued listening as I pulled a penny from my pocket and stared at it carefully. Fangers needed an invitation before entering someones home, but it was made clear they had humans in their employment. Fuck, they knew more about me than I did myself, it'd make sense they'd know about her, hell, Logan, Donna, Penny, the list went on for miles. Fuck as much as I hated to give my enemy credit, it would be smart to know everyone entering and leaving my life if this thing inside of me was as important as they made it seem. My life had gone from being planned by Odin, to being planned by a cult of fangers. When would it be my turn to run the goddamned show?

My jaw dropped and eyes widened as something became incredibly fucking clear to me. Blood pressure. I just looked at her like I'd just discovered the meaning of fucking life. It makes sense, doesn't it? Blood pressure. It's fucking inside of me, and it'd be a fucking lie if I said I didn't feel a very specific way whenever I speak that name. I know there's fucking magic in the world, but if they had a fuck load of access to magic why not just use that to keep an eye on me? Why go for technology? It's the only fucking thing that makes sense, it, whatever it is has to be able to detect changes in my body right? It was the only thing that made sense, and I meant that in every way possible. Nothing made sense to me now, not her, not them, not me, nothing made sense anymore. And the only thing I felt I had even a small grasp of understanding for was the goddamned device in my arm.

You... You wouldn't. I can't explain it. That woman, she didn't. Was it that room? I barely remembered the moment, but she didn't have a scent. It was one of those little details that stuck out the most. Everyone had a scent, everyone. I'd said enough, that's all I knew was that I'd said enough and talking about it wasn't going to make it any less confusing. It only made me question more, wonder more. I'd never been so mentally exhausted. It felt like years since my mind had run this fast. Maybe that's what the liquor was for. It made the thoughts and questions stop. It made things quiet.

She wasn't getting it, and she never would. Unless the roles were reversed, but if they were wouldn't I say the same exact thing? I wouldn't step aside just because she wanted me to. I wouldn't be able to sit and watch the fucking apocalypse. People are going to die. Wolves. Yeah, maybe some on the other side, or others caught in the crosshairs, but wolves are going to die. I can feel it. I've felt it coming since Odin died. If you're one of them, that's going to do more harm than good. If I felt alone in this now, how alone would I feel if she was gone? I couldn't fucking trust anyone else, hell, I could barely trust her as fucked up as that sounded. I wanted to go back, back to when I didn't care about anyone or anything. It'd make this impending doom bullshit so much easier to cope with. Then I guess- My phone buzzed in my pocket and cut me off. When I pulled it out I noticed the number was blocked, so I hung up and put it back in. I have to go.

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Re: [Private] Not a Dick Pizza

Peyton Marx | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:19 pm

At this rate it felt like the frown in my brow was going to becoming a fucking permanent feature. Like everything that had happened tonight, hearing about all this and having my thoughts go round in goddamn circles over it had made me incapable of any other expression. There was shit I didn't even know how to begin to answer, it was like this was something where an outside perspective didn't help shit and I was just left with no idea of what to say. Even when he seemed to arrive at some sort of conclusion I didn't know how the hell he'd gotten to it. So you think... what? They monitored your reaction to it and then programmed whatever the hell is in you to watch out for that same reaction? That sounds advanced as fuck, I don't even know how you'd begin to do that. But he had a point, why go for technology if you had access to magic? Wouldn't it be easier? Then again I hadn't a fucking clue about the limitations of shit like that. Which just made me think he was right. If it was about keeping an eye on changes like that then maybe technology was the easier option there. 

My eyes widened when he mentioned her again and I shook my head, almost wondering if he was just lying because at least that made more sense than what he was saying. She had to have. Nothing smells like... nothing, especially not when that sense is heightened. If what he was saying was true, and if she wasn't the only one then what if someone had been in my house and I hadn't noticed? No, I still didn't think that had happened, and what he'd said about the whole blood pressure thing actually made me more sure about that. If they were monitoring him why would they need to keep tabs on anyone else? So I just pushed the thought aside. There were more pressing things to think about.

So you don't think anything can be done to avoid it? Fine, if that's the case, if wolves are going to die then it's better that they don't die pointlessly. I'm not gonna pretend like I know how that can even be fucking achieved but at least trying to figure something out is better than doing nothing at all. I don't know what I can do but there has to be something. Even if this was infuriating and not knowing where to start or what was going to happen was something that could easily drive anyone crazy, the idea of just standing idle while it did was so much worse. There was so much to think of and even though I knew it was pointless I started going back over what I'd seen from him, wondering if there was anything that could help. 

That was when I remembered, when my mind flashed on something I'd seen but barely even registered but now it was hitting me like a freight train. I barely heard him speak, just about registered the words and I knew I couldn't let him leave just yet, even putting aside not wanting him to in the first place. Wait. Just- I saw something else. I didn't know how to react or if I was just imagining it. I saw... you followed someone. Someone with red hair. They... shit, she went to my old house. Ten years, as unbelievable as it was, ten years didn't always change a person as much as you thought. Was it...? Why was I asking him? Why was I asking something that I was almost sure I knew the answer to. Maybe just after everything that had already happened I wasn't sure if I could take any more. I already felt like I was teetering of some kind of ledge and just one push more push would send me over. I wasn't sure I could handle that...



After everything that needed to be said was said and when even I knew there was no more excuses to find and no time left to cling on to, I just looked at him. I knew he was going to leave and there was nothing to be done about that. I wasn't sure I'd even do it if there was because every lingering second that passed did more damage than it did good. He'd go and then... then I wasn't exactly sure what would happen. I wasn't frowning anymore, but I didn't even know what expression had taken its place. That ache was back in my throat and no matter how many times I tried to swallow it down it just wouldn't fucking go away. I didn't know what to think or have thee words left to form those thoughts in the first place. 

There were certain expectations I had, even though I didn't now what would happen I knew something would and that it would just be a matter of dealing with it as it came. There were other thing and other thoughts to focus my energy on and I was grateful for that, even if it wouldn't make anything go away.

Then something I didn't expect happened. He looked at me and I didn't know how to explain it, didn't know if it was something in his expression or if it was a hint of something in his thoughts from before. But when his eyes flashed in that second it was like panic lit up my brain and made everything crystal clear. I knew what he was going to do, I knew what he was going to take. But it wasn't his to take from me. Even if thoughts and memories had the power to make you feel worse that didn't mean they should be taken from you. That aching, swelling feeling in my throat increased and my breath caught in my chest. Everything ran through my mind in that instant, like I was getting one last replay but it made my eyes burn and my vision blur. Vin, no, plea- I wanted to turn away, or reach for him, I felt that tension in my muscles like I was about to move. I wanted close my eyes or just... anything. But as my words cut off before I could even finish them and I felt something trail down my face I knew in that instant that it was already too late and that there was nothing I could do.

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Re: [Private] Not a Dick Pizza

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:59 pm

I don't know what I think. I spoke quickly, like I was trying to cut her off but she had already gotten all of her words out. It was hard to believe in anything you hadn't seen yourself. We were walking, talking proof of that. Hell, fangers, mages, mediums, all of us were proof of that. I couldn't say what their technology could do, because I'd never seen anything like it. Something about it too, some of the things I had seen in that place, it looked so goddamned primitive but did things I never imagined could be done. The only way to describe it was magic, but I knew it wasn't that. It was just the only explanation I could conjure without giving myself a headache.

Well she didn't. I snapped, but immediately sighed as I looked away. It's just... I didn't like even feeling a hint of disbelief. I wasn't a liar, and maybe she thought I was, maybe she didn't, either way I didn't like feeling like she didn't believe me. I knew how fucking unbelievable that was. Fangers had tried, I knew that. They'd tried to rid themselves of any kind of scent but there was always some of them left behind, or some strange smell that could easily tip our kind off. There was always something there, that was the thing, something. But with her there was nothing. I didn't know if it was that room, or if it was her, or what, but it wasn't even the fact that she didn't have a scent during that week. It was the fact that no one did there, the entire time, no one had any kind of scent. It's what that meant for us that was terrifying. It was like they were working on eliminating themselves from our radar, like they were trying to go invisible. First their scent, then what? Sound? They were already stealthy as fuck and now I knew if this shit got out there's no way we'd be able to know they're coming. It's hard to grasp, I know. All of this, and the Odin shit, clearly we need time to I don't know... figure it out or come to terms with it.

I didn't say anything. I clearly saw it differently. This was twenty-fifteen. People lived for longer now, and dying for honor or whatever the fuck you would even label this situation was pointless. Life is fucking precious. I guess it took someone who has experienced a fuck load of death to see that, but still, I couldn't wrap my head around any more death of our kind being okay in any goddamned scenario. I fucking hated my wolves sometimes, but seeing them die because of some bullshit Odin pulled, because of some bullshit I brought into the world, that wasn't fine by me. I'd experienced enough death, I'd caused enough, seen enough to know it wasn't what I wanted anymore. The next death I wanted to experience was my own, not someone elses. And it wasn't because it was hard, death was hard, but that wasn't why. I was worried I'd become desensitized to it. I might as well be a fanger if that happened.

I looked at her, and I felt knots in my stomach the second she said I followed someone. I wouldn't say I'd forgotten about it, I'd just not thought about it. My mind had been occupied with other shit. It was hard to deny something someone saw with their own eyes... Or mind... Or minds eyes, whatever the fuck you want to call it. Either way she'd seen it, and there really was no way for me to pretend it didn't happen. I didn't want to keep it from her as some evil master plan or anything. In fact, I probably would have told her, at a better time maybe, but I would have told her eventually, after I'd gathered more information, after I'd been sure. Still, her knowing now was bad. We had enough to fucking deal with, I couldn't imagine this piling on top of everything else.

I stayed silent, my eyes went to the floor and there they stayed before I found the courage to bring them back to hers. Enough time had passed that it was starting to feel fucking awkward in so much damned silence, I had to say something. I was hoping you'd tell me. - I wasn't fucking stalking her or anything either. And I was going to tell you... I just didn't want to say anything that would get your hopes up in case it wasn't... Yanno... Her. I mean I remembered the house, the address you'd given me and... I don't know, you know how this shit is, it's better to be one hundred percent certain before you say anything... I just saw her, got a feeling, and followed... I don't know... Who was I trying to convince? Her? Or myself? I couldn't help but feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet, and not because I didn't tell her, but because something inside of me didn't want her to know. I knew it was fucked up, I hated that I felt that way, but I did and it was fucking shitty of me to even think it. I didn't want her to know, like her knowing would somehow throw her back into her human family when I didn't have one, and I'd be alone to deal with this shit. After I'd spent all that time preaching to her, about how I didn't want her involved and here I was admitting to myself that I couldn't fucking do it without her. I really was a goddamned piece of shit...




I knew the time had come. To end this, to fucking say goodbye without really saying it. Saying goodbye to someone that would never leave your side was harder than saying goodbye to someone that would. At least in death you're not constantly reminded of what you had to leave behind. At least in death you have some means of escape... Time. With time, this one would only get worse. Seeing her. Talking to her. Wanting shit you'll never have, that's how shit like this worked right? So, I decided I was just going to rip off the band aid. Do it quick, leave, and not even think about the consequences. All of me wanted to be selfish and let her remember and go rogue and never look back. But how could I look at myself? Duty, Honor, Pride, those were the words on my chest, I'd never be able to look at them again the same if we went rogue. They'd be lies, lies I could never erase or evade.

She knew it was coming, but I knew more. I knew she wouldn't be able to avoid it. There wasn't enough time. And once I felt my influence over her, I erased everything. She'd remember the videos, the memories in my head the second time, she'd remember those things fine, but she'd forget everything else that happened this night. It would be as if it never even happened. The good things, the bad, the fighting and the feelings she came to accept and even say. Everything I said, did, what we did. It was all gone so fast I didn't even notice the blood until I tasted it on my lip. I didn't even notice her crying. I wanted to reach out to wipe it away but I couldn't. My eyes dimmed, and I couldn't, because in the time it took for me to voice my command over her memories, I became nothing but her Alpha again.

I wiped the blood away with the back of my hand, the pain in my head was intense, but not strong enough to pull my focus from the shit that I wanted to forget but couldn't. I looked at her for as long as I could before her mind started coming back in focus and started for the door before she started to recognize her surroundings again.

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Re: [Private] Not a Dick Pizza

Peyton Marx | Wolf; Warlord/Battlelord

Posted on Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:32 am

For a second I almost felt like laughing. Not because I found any of this shit remotely amusing but what he'd said echoed my thoughts almost exactly. I didn't know what to think of any of this, outside of how fucked up all of it was. My thoughts kept coming back around to the question of what could be done and I was drawing a blank every time. You'd think the more you knew about a situation the more likely you'd be able to come up with some sort of way of dealing with it but that wasn't happening here, not for me. There was that shit people said, about knowledge being power or something. But knowing something wasn't enough, it was about how much you knew.

All of this was exhausting and everything I'd learned felt like it was weighing down on me. I could only guess it was fucking worse for him. Or maybe it wasn't, my head was too much of a mess to think straight on this. When he snapped and then sighed I just looked at him, listening to the words that followed. Hard to grasp? Yeah, it really is. It felt like just the biggest understatement but he was right. And every new bit of information is like shit piled on top of more shit. It seems impossible, all of this. I don't want to believe it but I know that doesn't change anything. And you wouldn't catch me covering my ears and fucking pretending either because that wouldn't accomplish anything. But you're right. I don't even know if this shit has fully sunk in yet. I just... fuck, I just hope there is actually time to let it.

Maybe I should have been angry that he hadn't told me right away but when he explained why he hadn't I actually understood. Hoping and having that shattered would've been... I didn't even want to think about what that would've been like. Even now I could already feel how the idea of her being so close made me feel and I wasn't sure what to do with it. It was different, seeing it for myself through his eyes, different to just being told about him seeing someone who fit a certain description. I'd felt almost... a spark of recognition but even with that I didn't want to set myself up just to be knock back. No, it's okay. I would've done the same thing. But... it's crazy I mean if it's her and she's back living there... it fits but almost too fucking much. At the same time it doesn't seem like it could just be a coincidence. I stopped, knowing that talking like this would just end up with me going around in circles that led nowhere. I think it was her though. I mean it seems impossible but- I'll look into it. It wasn't like I'd just go barging in there without seeing for myself. Until then I'd just have to try and be controlled about it, to not let any of it get to my head. I opened my mouth, feeling like I should say more, wanting to mention something about the fact that he'd followed her, that he'd actually thought about not wanting to get my hopes up in the first place. That meant something to me but I didn't know how to express it. If he ended up being the reason that I'd ended up so much closer to finding my family... no, I couldn't even think about that either. Not until I was sure. Or maybe I just didn't want to. Because that seemed like something I'd never know how to repay.



My head felt... fuzzy. A headache pounded behind my eyes and my thoughts were jumbled. It felt like that moment after you get hit in my face where your brain needs a second to fucking reboot. Even my eyesight seem fucked up and I blinked a few times. Gradually I became more aware and my mind focused back on what had happened, what I'd learned tonight about Odin and where Vin had been and fuck, anyone would feel a little fucked up after that. Talk about fucking information overload. I groaned and went to pinch the bridge of my nose, then froze when I felt something damp against my skin. What was... shit yeah, I'd seen more than I'd expected to. I was sure it was her in his thoughts. Avery. I'd thought about it so much but it hadn't ever felt so immediate. But just because shit like that justified some sorta emotional response didn't mean I was happy about having one.

The fog cleared a little and I looked up, catching sight of him walking towards the door. My head throbbed again and I stood, hurriedly wiping at my face as I did so. Wait- I stopped, frowning as I realized I didn't even know why I'd said that. I felt... confused. Like there was something I should be doing or saying and it was making me irritated. But at least dealing with that was easier than... than what? Ugh, fuck I should be better with dealing with all this information. There was no excuse for letting it get to me.

So I just cleared my throat and sucked it up. Look I know this shit is fucked up but I... shit, I appreciate knowing about it. I don't know what we can do but at least we know something needs to be done. I dunno, I'd just always pick knowing crap even if knowing it feels like shit. Again I frowned and it was like my own words felt weird coming out of my mouth. Fuck, when had I last slept anyway? I was tired and even thinking about sleep just made me want it even more. Maybe some of this shit would sort itself in my head after I'd passed out. I shrugged and then felt stupid for even saying any of that. I wasn't even sure he'd give a crap. After all the shit he'd been through I doubted my opinion carried much fucking weight. He'd given me the explanation I'd wanted about leaving me in the fucking mess he had and that was enough. Anything else that I'd head or seen... I didn't want to think about that right now, there was too much going on in my head to be logical about it.

Whatever. I need to get some sleep or something. If you think of anything, y'know, related to the pack and this shit then let me know. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. But I doubted he would've told me this much only to keep me out of the loop in future. He could be an ass but I didn't think that would extend to being petty like that. I walked past, heading for my bedroom but then stopped again, looking back over my shoulder and again I just felt fucking weird. Damn, I just needed to get some shut eye and stop being a fucking idiot. It'd be gone by morning. See ya. I headed into my room then without any more pauses or delays. Fuck, he knew how to use a damn door and I had a lot of shit to sort through without waiting around to make sure he closed it properly or whatever.

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