setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
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 [Private] Tents - Page 5

[Private] Tents

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Re: [Private] Tents

Lenny Tronconi | Army of God; Hunter

Posted on Fri Jun 05, 2015 10:19 pm

I stretched out again, lengthening my legs as if to try and stretch out the sleepiness that had started to set in. Quote Begin I don't get it, why you're so nice, but then other people like you.. or, not like you, but do the same job stuff as you, aren't. I mean I've known people get attacked and shit because of it I mean, so.. y'know.. yeah...Quote End I didn't particularly want to get into why I hated religion so much and the reason was probably obvious anyway, but if more religion people were like Helios then I might not have hated it so much.

While I didn't want to delve into the regret and blame within it, it seemed that by trying to avoid it I'd ended up saying the wrong thing. Quote Begin Um, no, I didn't mean.. I mean.. it's not that you do that, you really are helping, yeah? I just.. I just don't want to think about all the stuff I could have done differently.Quote End I admitted quickly, feeling that even thinking so far was coming too close to having those thoughts trapped in my mind again. The more I thought about them, the more they ended up intensifying and I didn't want to ruin what had been an amazing night by going all weird about it. Quote Begin But.. you do so much? How can you feel helpless? ... I feel helpless, like I'm just waiting for you to do something, but I can't do anything to help you. I wish there was something I could do, so I didn't feel like I was just.. fucking waiting all the time, but not doing anything. Quote End I shrugged a little, trying to downplay how intensely I felt that. I appreciated what Helios did for me so much, probably too much for words, but not being able to do anything back or even to properly help him was something my mind kept getting drawn back to.

The thought of things getting better was a nice one, there was no denying that. But it also felt dangerous. It wasn't that I didn't want things to turn out better, but that I was scared of hoping for it to do that, and then it never happening and certain things not getting better. I'd gotten into the mindset that preparing myself for things never changing would stop any disappointment when they never did. Quote Begin Maybe.Quote End I said, lips pursed and my frown staying lodged in place. I shrugged and focused on fiddling with the zipper from one of the sleeping bags beneath us that I'd noticed.

When Helios spoke again I just felt it confirmed that I'd said the wrong thing as usual. It frustrated me, knowing that all the things he said had been so nice, but I couldn't even manage to do it right in return. Quote Begin I'm not.. fuck, I'm not sorry like that, or... I'm sorry it happened it happened to you, but not that either, I just, none of it feels right to say but I just feel bad about it, I feel something and.. what the fuck am I meant to say? I'm so shit at saying this stuff but I want to say something that'll make you feel better like you make me feel.Quote End I groaned slightly from the frustration and pressed the palms of my hands against my closed eyes, willing myself to think of some right thing to say. As usual, it didn't come.

I groaned a little again and removed my hands from my eyes to frown at Helios. Quote Begin ..you... really think so? But.. I mean.. there was no point in it, it didn't work out. It just ended up shit like any other relationship I try will... how's that a good thing?Quote End I tried to give Helios the benefit of the doubt because what he usually said made so much sense, but I couldn't understand what he meant by a failed relationship being good for me.

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Re: [Private] Tents

Helios Tallon | Army of God; Chief

Posted on Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:01 pm

There is a difference between truly believing, and just pretending to believe. It is not just about what happens after you leave this earth, it teaches of goodness and acceptance. Even those that wear the same robes and collar as I can forget that. We are all just human, however. I like to think people that cannot accept others and pass judgement on others have just lost their way, it helps me believe that they can find their way again. That they can be better. Some might believe I was just making excuses for people, but passing judgement on them would make me no better. People are wrong to tell anyone they cannot feel the way they feel. Some things just... are.

I understand that. I gave him a smile but it faded away rather quickly. It was very easy to wonder what you could have done to make something better. In fact, that was nearly exactly what I had just send to him. Had I have captured him sooner, Lenny might have been spared the horrors he had experienced. And as the thought consumed me, I realized that I could not tell Lenny that he did nothing to deserve this until I accepted that I had done nothing to deserve my pain. Those kind of thoughts never lead anywhere pleasant. I can relate to it, all too well. But then I just tell myself that it is easy to wonder what you could have done differently once everything has already come and pass. You know what happened now, you know what lead to it, you might even know of a few ways you, yourself could have prevented it, or made it less horrific. It is so undeniably easy to think about that, because it has already happened. If only there was a way to go back in time and inform yourself of what is to come, but there is not. I could have stayed home that day. My mother and I would not have been there had I just told her I did not feel up for going anywhere. I knew that now, but there was no way the younger version of me knew what was going to happen. Just like Lenny could not have done anything to change what happened to him, because he had no way of knowing. When there is evil in the world, intent on harming, there really is nothing you can do if you do not see it coming.

There are things you can do Lenny, if you dislike waiting as much as I do, then there are definitely things you can do to help and pass the time. I just do not think you will like them. I laughed a little at the thought of him at my desk, tracking down names and dates and trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Of course it is entirely up to you, if it would make you feel better then of course I would be willing to accept your help. I did not necessarily need it, but maybe he did? This was always a dangerous decision to make however, which is why it was usually frowned upon. With some, once they get in, they get absorbed in the task. Their minds and lives become so incredibly involved that they have no life at all. Then they start wanting to be in the line of fire, they no longer want to sit at a desk and crunch numbers. They want to be in the field. I would not let that happen.

I smiled again, but not in a bad way. Clearly he was frustrated, but I could not help but smile. Do you remember our trip to Oregon? - It may not have been packed full of nonstop excitement, but it was fun, it was relaxing. I have not taken a day off like that in a long time Lenny. And this, here, now, I should be working. But I had fun today. Maybe you think you are not good at finding the right thing to say, but you help make things better in a different way. Some people were better with words, others were not. Both types of people had their own way of bringing joy to the world.

I am not saying the relationship was good, or how it ended was good. It is just... I think it is good of you to try, it was good of you to put effort into making that work for yourself. There are a lot of people that would give up, it is nice to see you still have some effort and fight in you after everything you have experienced. It takes a strong person to wait out the pain. Those type of people usually come out better than before.

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Re: [Private] Tents

Lenny Tronconi | Army of God; Hunter

Posted on Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:36 pm

Quote Begin Yeah?Quote End I thought about what Helios had said, Quote Begin ...yeah. It just sucks so many people have.. lost their way or whatever.Quote End I nodded but frowned at Helios, imagining him giving a lesson to other church people on how they should be in my head.

I nodded again, somberly, when Helios' words partially mirrored my thoughts. Quote Begin I guess it's just the future we can do anything about.Quote End I said, but my tone didn't match the positivity of what I was saying. We might have had the future to change, but there were times when I wondered what sort of future I even had after what had happened.

My whole body perked up at Helios' laugh, and I let out a sound of protest. Quote Begin What? I will like them!Quote End I argued, even though I had no idea what the things were. Quote Begin What are they? I mean, if I can actually do something to help... I'd like to.Quote End I wondered what it could be. Cleaning weapons? Helping to make stuff? Organizing all the silver stakes and spray cans? There was still so much about how things were run that I had no idea about at all.

Quote Begin Yeah?Quote End I echoed after Helios' words, remembering the trip well but not knowing what it had to do with me saying the wrong thing. I slowly started to smile as I remembered not only Oregon, but looked back on that day in the woods too. Quote Begin Oregon was fun. Even when you.. y'know..Quote End I smirked to myself, then tried to bite back laughter, biting at my lip at the image of Helios inspecting the glory hole. It had been disgusting at the time, but looking back it was difficult not to see the hilarious side of the grossness. A laugh still escaped me and I looked over to Helios with a big grin. Quote Begin That diner place was cool, the one with the milkshakes. And hey - did I show you my tattoo? The one I got? After it healed? I can't remember?Quote End I frowned as I tried to think if I had. Quote Begin And y'know.. I didn't think I'd like camping. I only came because Mary-Ann sort of made me, and I didn't want to come, but I'm glad I did. And that you were here because Mary-Ann's nice and shit, but it wouldn't have been as good without you. Especially when Jesse turned up... But it's been so fucking great. Even sleeping in a tent.. I mean, fuck - it's actually so comfy.Quote End Another harder downpour of rain sounded over our heads and I glanced up. Quote Begin Uh... how waterproof are tents? We won't.. wake up wet or shit, right?Quote End I asked, glancing between Helios and the tent roof above us. It was so strange to think we were in the middle of a forest and my mind started jumping from one thing to another. Quote Begin What about bears?Quote End

I watched Helios cautiously and then slowly relaxed. Quote Begin I guess...Quote End I nodded, thinking over his words with a frown. Strong stuck in my mind, a familiar phrase playing as if the speaker was right there - you're strong... - and it sent a chill down my spine. I wasn't sure if I was strong, or even if I wanted to be strong, or even what he'd meant by it - just that I didn't want to think about the word and it's connotations if I didn't have to. It had only seemed like a taunt over how weak I was anyway. I didn't need to think about that when my head was already almost hurting thinking about Jesse. Helios had made me see it from a different angle though. Quote Begin I never thought of it like that, just that it didn't work how I wanted.Quote End I frowned further, trying to pair up thoughts in my mind. Quote Begin It just.. it feels so fucked that I did try and it still ended up fucked up..  I mean, I it just makes me wonder.. what was the fucking point?Quote End I thought out loud, sighing in annoyance and anger at it.

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Re: [Private] Tents

Helios Tallon | Army of God; Chief

Posted on Sat Jun 06, 2015 12:23 am

He was right on track. In fact, I wanted to do the best I can to help him with his past, while keeping his eyes on the future. I only hoped that I was able to accomplish that. I did not want him to avoid his problems, not at all, I wanted him to be able to move on, but once he could accept the possibility for a good future, maybe he could move on from the finality of his past.

His enthusiasm was encouraging. It was actually quite contagious, but I just could not picture him finding what I had in mind enjoyable. Then again, even if he did not like it, maybe it would help him feel useful, even if only for a moment. I looked at him, smirked, and tried to think of a way I could make it sound enjoyable. I could not come up with anything, however. Paperwork. I raised my eyebrows, wondering if he would find a way to surprise me yet again and somehow find the idea of it fun. I suspected he would not. A lot of filling out timelines, recording names, dates, anything that can help lead me to my objective. I did not think you would find that terribly exciting. But if you want the job it is yours. I smiled.

I frowned for a moment, trying to remember what he was talking about. It hit me eventually, but not without some digging into what felt like very old memories. Had it really been that long since we had made our trip? That was a perfectly reasonable reaction. I tried to play it off, but I could feel my cheeks turning red. It was a hole... I just... I covered my face, and in the process my smile as I tried to push the memory of that out of my head.

I do remember that milkshake. I wish it was worth the money in gas to go back there and have another. I was suddenly hungry, which I had to assume was the alcohol from earlier making me feel that way. I think so? Show me again. I still cannot believe you went through with it. I grinned. It was always exciting to be with someone when they got their first tattoo. It was probably a memory that would stick with me forever. I knew you would like it. My smile still had not disappeared. I am very glad I chose to stay. The company was good, and food was delicious as it always is when camping. It has been a very enjoyable experience, I must admit.

We will be dry. I thumped the wall of the tent with my thumb, not as surprised as I should have been at the rain. I had grown comfortable with it by now, it was practically the norm. And contrary to popular belief, bear attacks in this area are quite rare. They tend to avoid large groups of people unless they are starving, and even then they would be after our food, not us. However the deer we saw earlier tells me they have plenty of food, and the season is pretty ripe for food supply as well. I tried to reassure him, but I was no expert on the topic. In fact, the seasons here felt so cold compared to some of the places I had been, I was not sure if there were even any bears around, if they were hibernating still, or... I just was not sure, but I was also not worried about it.

Yeah... Then again what in life does have a point to it? We are all going to die eventually. If you get in that line of thinking you'll realize, not much does have a point or purpose. All we can do is try to be happy while we are here, and that is what you did. I gave him a warm smile, hoping he would not take what I had said as a negative.

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Re: [Private] Tents

Lenny Tronconi | Army of God; Hunter

Posted on Sat Jun 06, 2015 1:24 am

Quote Begin Oh.Quote End I let slip. Paperwork? It sounded so boring and normal, not like any job I'd imagined for an organisation that hunted down creatures. Paperwork sounded like a really shitty job but I was stuck - I'd already said I wanted to do it, and I did want to do something. Quote Begin Uhh... when you say a lot of filling out, do you mean loads of writing? Or is it on a computer. Because.. uh.. it's not that I'm not good at writing or that I don't like it, but..Quote End I searched my brain for an excuse, Quote Begin ...my.... my arm still hurts sometimes.Quote End  Was the one I ended up with, a half lie as it did ache sometimes, but never because I'd written a lot, because I couldn't even remember the last time I'd written something down. I rubbed down my arm where the long scar was too, even though my sweater sleeves hid it.

The redness of Helios' cheeks was obvious even in the lighting, and with his hands over his face, and I couldn't hold back my laughter any longer. Quote Begin No.. I'm saying it wasn't a reasonable.. reaction or whatever.. just.. fuck, the way you did it... whatever you thought it was.Quote End I had to gasp for air, curling in on myself because I'd laughed so much my sides hurt. Quote Begin Oh fuck.Quote End I snorted. The image of Helios bending down to investigate the hole wouldn't leave my mind and made it almost impossible to stop laughing.

Quote Begin Yeah... I feel kind of hungry now, even after all those smore things.Quote End Earlier I'd eaten so many that I actually felt a but sick, but I thought it was worth it. Whoever had the idea to toast marshmallows and make them warm and gooey was a genius. My tattoo was a welcome distraction from laughing and hunger and I grinned widely at the chance to show it off. I sat up, so fast I almost went off balance, and pivoted on my ass so my legs were facing Helios. I pulled my sock down and the leg of my jeans up, frowning when I noticed they felt weird at the bottom, stiff, but ignoring it for the moment. Quote Begin Here.Quote End I tried to angle my ankle around, smoothing down the sparse, fuzzy hair that had grown back over the image, but in my opinion didn't take away from it. My leg hair was reasonably light. I'd thought about shaving it only once and decided it might look weirder to have a random patch of no hair, and I definitely wasn't going to shave my entire legs. Quote Begin Really? Well it's good you were with me, because I don't think I'd have got it if you weren't and I really like it.Quote End It still felt a little weird that it was mine, on me, Quote Begin Even if one of the girls at work said it was a 'girly place to get a tattoo', I mean, how the fuck can a part of your body be girly anyway?Quote End I looked back down at my tattoo, and then felt my jeans again. Quote Begin Hey, do my jeans feel weird? the bottom of them?Quote End I asked, pinching at the fabric myself.

I watched Helios touch the side of the tent and then followed suit, poking at one of the sides and then withdrawing my finger to see if it was wet. The side of the tent was cold, but my finger came away dry. Quote Begin Huh. And that's good, I guess. If there are loads of deers round here anyway, maybe it means there aren't any bears.Quote End They'd probably gone rampaging somewhere else in search of better food if the only thing around the forest was Elk. They'd looked a bit boney and I didn't know how their head-sticks could be food so I almost felt sympathy for the bears, if they hadn't been bears that might kill people and eat them otherwise.

At first Helios' words shocked me. We are all going to die eventually. I stared at him, wide-eyed, before the surprise of the statement passed and I could think about it properly. I returned his smile, it slowly but surely growing as I kept thinking about it. It sounded horrible and weird, but at the same time made sense. Wasn't it important to just try and be happy? Quote Begin Yeah... well, I'm happy today, I'm happy now. I guess that means something, right?Quote End I repeated, almost humming a laugh through my smile. Quote Begin Hey,Quote End I sat up a bit, Quote Begin I think I bought another pack of cookies, they must be in here somewhere..Quote End

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