setting
Index was once a small and close-knit community, but the town located on the western side of Washington state has grown in recent years beyond anyone's expectations. It is the ideal place for those who work in Seattle but can't afford the city's high real estate prices, and for others the natural beauty attracts them to the town. And Index truly is a beautiful place - surrounded by thick evergreen trees, tall mountains and glistening rivers and lakes. While weather is typically rainy with overcast skies even this does nothing to take away from the beauty of the town, and it is only highlighted further when the heavy snow graces the town and caps the mountains in winter. To many, Index would seem like a paradise. And yet lurking beneath this visual beauty there is more to this town than anyone might ever imagine...

Current Time in Index, Washington:
rules
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 [Private] Stare of Doom - Page 4

[Private] Stare of Doom

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Re: [Private] Stare of Doom

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Sun May 03, 2015 7:19 am

I kept my gaze fixed, determined, knowing with every fiber of my being that I was challenging Vincent. Technically, I was challenging his right to make a decision like that when in power, not his power itself, but technicalities or not, weren't they basically the same thing? To Vincent, I felt they would be, and that was what mattered.

It didn't stop me though. I only looked away when I got the answer. It wasn't the answer I wanted, but in the thick of the wolf lifestyle and apparently massive problem, I didn't know what I wanted. For once, there wasn't an obvious solution, or even a roadway to a solution that I could easily fall back on. I still didn't know enough to comprehend the situation fully, let alone think of a way to improve it. Out of my depth didn't seem extensive enough to cover it. But when I thought to Vincent's reactions.. the sudden banishment, I wondered if I wasn't the only one.

Quote Begin Banished him?Quote End I repeated, struggling to understand, Quote Begin I'm going to assume that's serious from the way everyone high-tailed it out of here.Quote End I couldn't shake the sense of sadness, and shook my head. Disappointment, that's what it was. That I'd ended up in such a familiar situation, that the human, or wolf race, couldn't realise they could be better than they were.

I snapped back round to him at his words, feeling incredibly angry that he didn't understand. Slowly though, it receded as I bit my tongue. How could he understand? He wasn't a cop, a detective. Just as I couldn't understand what it was like to be in his position, he wasn't going to understand mine.

Quote Begin No...Quote End I shook my head slowly, and reached out to pull a bar stool closer, slipping onto it. Rather than magnify the height difference between Vincent and I, it bridged the gap, but that hadn't been my reason. I felt drained. Quote Begin People who get locked up generally at least get a hearing first, a chance to defend themselves. Quote End I said hotly, because sighing at myself. I was letting myself get too worked up, and it wasn't going to help any. My temper had been markedly more difficult to keep in check since my change. I took a small breath and started again, Quote Begin I carry out the law, and sometimes... well, that isn't always 'justice'. But that's not what matters. My job, is my job. You...Quote End I glanced up at Vincent for a second, and then had to look away, Quote Begin When I first turned, Peyton used the word 'family' to describe the pack. Maybe that's wishful thinking, coming from that la-la land you mentioned earlier. With me, I don't just feel a sense of duty for my work, I want to help people, and make things better, maybe that means I'm from that stupid land myself though, because work can be a duty if you let it, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But family,Quote End I looked up at Vincent again and sighed, cutting my sentence short.

Quote Begin That wolf tonight, those things he said, he might have been addressing you, but you weren't the only audience. If the other wolves didn't think those things before, won't they at least have doubts now? You didn't give an answer to any of what he said and they all saw that...Quote End I said, wondering if Vincent knew these things already even as I was telling him. But I still felt a sense of dread, because I knew how that could influence things. If the other wolves hadn't thought the same of Vincent, the seed had been planted into their mind, but if they had, they'd now view his actions as 'proof' that it was all true. If things were already, they may only get worse. The worst of all was that I didn't know where the accusations came from - truth, lie, or even a bit of both. I didn't want to make assumptions, but what did Vincent's punishment imply about him? I glanced to his empty glass on the bar, wondering how many he'd had that evening. And he was supposed to be the leader of these wolves. Quote Begin Is any of it true?Quote End I asked, quietly, looking up from under furrowed brows to try and gauge his reaction.

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Re: [Private] Stare of Doom

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Sun May 03, 2015 4:37 pm

I looked at her, I didn't want to repeat myself, so I just nodded. Well... You're a wolf now. Let me ask you this, how do you feel at the thought of being banished. The thought of being a lone wolf? I knew that everyone was different, but even I had to admit something inside of me caught fire at the thought of being banished, of being pushed out of my family no matter how dysfunctional it was or how little I knew them. Maybe it was the wolf, he couldn't stand the thought of losing that. Whatever ''that'' was.

I sat down and rubbed at my temples. I was angry, I was really fucking angry and it wasn't even what the others had done, I was used to their behavior. No, I was angry with this new wolf. I could tell she was the type that had an opinion of everything. I never expected anyone to just sit down and take a blow, I sure as fuck didn't, but there were times when people just needed to fucking accept how things were too. Especially when the battle they were fighting wasn't their own, just like now. Yeah and how well has that worked out for the human race? There are men in prison that haven't committed the crimes they're being punished for, and there are men in the streets committing crimes that they should be punished for. It doesn't matter, when a crime is committed against our lifestyle, and our law, we don't appoint people fucking lawyers and sit in a fucking court room. Even if we did, it would be corrupt, just like the system you fucking work for. The ones that go free are the ones with the fattest fucking wallet, you know it, I know it, and hey, I'm not saying I give a fuck, I'm just saying everyone accepts that as justice. I'm not telling you how to do your job, because if I wanted to be a detective, I would have worked for it. I don't know what you've been through, what you've seen, or endured, and just the same you have no idea how different our politics need to be. We aren't human, maybe it works for humans, maybe it doesn't, but the choices I make are for the fucking good, whether or not you like it isn't the point.

How many times had I let shit slide? How many times had I received hateful messages, had my property destroyed, been spit at and challenged and just let it fucking slide? I let it slide because they were my family whether I or they liked it or not we were family. I knew their actions stemmed from ignorance, grief, and pain. I knew that, it fucking pissed me off to no end but I fucking knew why they did what they did. But how long was I expected to be a punching bag before I was allowed to fucking punch back?

I don't owe him a fucking answer! I shoved the glass of the bar and it went flying to the other end of the room. And I sure as hell don't owe you one. You have no fucking clue how this works. I can't blame you, all you know is you came here to talk with me and I ended up sentencing a wolf to the worst punishment imaginable right before your eyes, but it's not black and white detective. This isn't some tyrannical regime, if anything it's the opposite. Whether what he said was true or not doesn't matter, because there are two sides to every coin, and there is an explanation for everything. If you only knew how destructive the truth could be you wouldn't even ask me that question. Banishing one wolf for speaking against me is no where near as destructive as the truth. And no, I don't mean just for me, I mean for them. What do you do when the core of your belief system falters, when you find out what your god really stood for? When your god becomes your devil? It kills people, that is why I didn't answer him, and that is why I'm not going to answer you. Because I am protecting them, and you, at the cost of my own fucking sanity. Maybe that makes me fucking crazy, but maybe that what makes me their leader too.

I hated Odin, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he was hiding more than he let on. But he hid it well, he was blessed with the gift of being liked and loved by all that laid eyes on him. Even if it was just a mask. And even at his death, he was loved so deeply that even if I hadn't taken his place, they all would have found ways to hate their new leader simply because their new leader wasn't him. When you love someone that strong it would kill you to find out he was the enemy. It didn't matter how much they fucking hurt me, or how rarely but strongly I retaliated, it was all better than the alternative. I would not be the one to turn their world upside down no matter how much I fucking hated them. And not even the all might female detective could change that. All I knew was if she kept meddling, her punishment would be worse than his.

She was playing with fire.

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Re: [Private] Stare of Doom

Rohana Khan | Wolf; Spiritual Leader

Posted on Tue May 05, 2015 7:49 am

I didn't want to argue, sighing. I honestly didn't want to, but I was not only angry, but upset. My fists trembled at my sides and I honestly didn't know which emotion I felt stronger.

My stomach clenched at the thought of being thrown out of the pack. I didn't feel a true member of it yet, and still the thought created an unparalleled somberness within me. Quote Begin It would be horrible.Quote End I said quietly, attempting to quell my anger.

But I couldn't stay silent. It wasn't like me to do so, not when I had so much to say, and when so much being said sounded so wrong. I shook my head in despair and stared at Vincent in disbelief when he smashed the glass, wondering what he was trying to accomplish. Was he trying to scare me off? Make me respect him? I did feel scared, that much was true, but it was only fueling my silly impulsiveness to continue speaking - to try and get him to understand. I also already respected him, as much as my speaking out of turn might make it seem otherwise. He hadn't had to speak to me, or tell me any of this. If I hadn't respected him at least a little, I'd have walked out before we'd gotten into this argument.

Quote Begin How is giving someone false hope any better than banishing them?! Being banished.. I've only just come into this pack and yet I sense it would feel like I was being ripped apart, but your coddling them now, it's stopping these wolves from moving on! The things they believe are lies, and they have a right to know the truth! How will they feel when they realise they've been wasting their lives, and the lives of their family at the hands of vampires - over a pack of lies? You're right, hearing the cold, hard truth can be horrible, it can ruin, and it can even kill, if you want to believe that... but without knowing it, they'll also never get the chance to move on and grow from it, become stronger. What outcome do they have now with you 'protecting' them? Being banished or killed? Or just living a lie if they managed to escape either of those?Quote End

I knew how dangerous it was to challenge Vincent like this, but I couldn't back down. I wasn't going to. It wasn't even that I refused to follow a system I thought was wrong, but I was also sure that even Vincent didn't believe what he was saying himself. How could he? It was utter garbage, and that stung more - the thought I'd just believe it, lie down and accept it.

Quote Begin And that was exactly what I was saying about human 'justice' - that it isn't. But the way of doing things we seem to have, you have the power to make a better, fairer system as you can. Not.. this. Can you really stand there and say these choices are for the good of the pack? Q2: I asked him, and then had to look away. I felt like I was going to cry at the hopelessness of it all. Quote Begin And telling me all of this, what are you expecting me to do about it? Or are you just expecting me to hate you too?Quote End

I sniffed, the sound loud in the empty, bar, and slowly, my expression and body language softened. I glanced mournfully up to Vincent, cocking my head at him.

Quote Begin I wasn't only talking about an opportunity for that wolf to defend himself. It wasn't just him that was bought into question in front of all those other wolves... but you. Why should you have to play the bad guy? If they could trust you... maybe they could see... Quote End I trailed off, shaking my head and wishing I hadn't let my emotions get the better of me. I sat as still and small as I could, feeling sorry for myself a little, but for the rest of the wolves most of all, and then, Vincent. How difficult must it have been to play the villain like it seemed he had been doing? Quote Begin Don't you owe it to yourself? Quote End I asked, still quiet, Quote Begin There must be some other way than this...Quote End A way that wasn't so harsh on him. A leader was supposed to lead.. not sacrifice their lives and sanity and not even receive anything in return. It seemed so unfair. Quote Begin If I could try and spread a positivity towards training, or towards you and Peyton... maybe.. it might help..Quote End I said, not knowing whether it would even as I voiced it, but that regardless of whether it did - I was still going to try.

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Re: [Private] Stare of Doom

Vincent Sawyer Byrne | Wolf; Pack Master/Alpha

Posted on Sat May 30, 2015 8:07 pm

She wasn't getting it, and instead of getting more angry I was mentally placing her into the same category as the rest of them. Yeah, I felt like shit sometimes, especially when it felt like no matter how hard I fucking screamed I wasn't being heard, but a lot of the time I just tuned it out. If I let myself get worked up every  time someone told me I wasn't doing shit right I'd probably take a leap off the bridge and be done with it. The real kicker was the fact that she had made some good points, and it made my stomach turn to think someone could think like she does. It was like she was just seeing the surface of the earth, full of sympathetic daisies and do good trees. Yeah, it's okay to smell those daisies and catch some shade under those trees sometimes, but that didn't change the fact that there was molten rock underneath and a galaxy of catastrophic shit out there. It felt so fucking linear to me, but I couldn't expect her to get it. She wasn't an alpha, it wasn't her job to focus on the shit in order to fix it. Even if the task was fucking redundant because as one shit door closes another ten shit doors open.

No matter what I say or do, you'll think I should have said or done the opposite. Telling anyone the truth has a snowball effect, it's not like in kindergarten when you admit the truth and you get a lollipop, in the real world you need lies to get by. My tone made it pretty damned clear that I was exhausted with the topic. How many times should I beat my head against a brick wall before I realize I'm not going to get to the other side? I had beat it up against that brick wall all fucking night and she was on the other side using her opinions to pile more bricks up. It didn't matter, I couldn't even remember how we had gotten on this fucking topic and I had already said too much. It was that bullshit that had happened the other night, it always left me with my fucking guard down, and got me into more fucking trouble.

I listened to her. Quite fucking intently but it was just so goddamn infuriating. You will hate me, but you'll have a better life for it. Trust me. There were so many reasons why that was true. This wasn't some pity party either. I couldn't explain why it wasn't, but the idea of her hating me wasn't as rotten as you would think it was. In fact, something really weird, I actually kind of liked the idea of it.

Change isn't always the answer. Fuck they were five incredibly fucking big words. I wasn't defeated at the argument, fuck no, I as just tired of it. So fucking tired of it. Listen, I appreciate everything you're saying, I really do. To be honest, as much as you may have pissed me off at some points tonight, you've done a million times better job at getting your point across than most people do, but the bottom line is, I'm not here to make everyone happy in every aspect of our lives. You're like a novelist going into NASA and telling them your opposing opinions in their line of work without getting the facts, or even learning their field of work. I let this situation slide, and I've been a hell of a lot calmer than I normally would simply because you're new, but if this happens again, I can't promise I will be as friendly about it. This isn't a dictatorship, but right now, considering the weight of the threat out there, this isn't a democracy either. Frankly, there's no way you'll ever get it. Unless you can magically turn back time and life my life for me, and witness all of the shit that has happened to these wolves, you won't get it, and I don't want you to. I've heard your opinion, and it's great that you have one, but it doesn't change anything. It's easy to sit back and say ''oh but this is wrong'', because you have no idea, no matter how much you may think you do, you have absolutely no idea what any of us have been through or why I make the decisions I make. And frankly, I'm starting to feel pissed off again so maybe it's best we cut this meeting short.

I always thought I'd enjoy my packs opinions if they could only speak them in a less childish way, but now I was thinking I preferred the immaturity. I was pissed off, and I had a fucking right to be. I shouldn't have let her live, I should have finished what I started but I didn't and now this was God's way of punishing me for it. I felt like I was going to explode from what had happened the other night, but she just added more gun powder to the pile. I wanted to scream or give the fuck up or I didn't even know. I just wanted out, and I was going to make sure Peyton put her in her place and educated her on our fucking lifestyle, because she wasn't fitting in, and she wouldn't fit in, not unless she figured us out.

I stood up from my stool. I don't know you but, I'm going to give you a little bit of advice anyway... With me, and a few others, trust and respect is earned. I don't give it to strangers, people need to work for it just like I have to. If you want to make your points again after seeing the world through my eyes, then maybe I'll be willing to really hear you, but until then, you're firing blanks. But coming in as a newbie with a little bit of information from your spiritual leader and telling me how to do my job and challenging my decisions isn't a good way to earn that trust and respect. We have a system, and you either learn it and become one of us, or you don't, but don't try and change the way I do what I do until you've truly put the effort into becoming a part of the family. Tradition is a bit part of our lifestyle, and while there have been some alpha's that weren't perfect, they were chosen by the ancestors for a reason. Don't try and change my path.

I headed towards the door, unhappy with how much I shared, but happy with how I left it. She'd either think about it and learn from it, or think about it and get worse. Either way, this meeting up bullshit wouldn't be happening again, so it wasn't my problem. I had bigger shit to deal with for all of our sake than wasting my time worrying about her opinions.

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